Jemma
@cygnus5.bsky.social
📤 412
📥 127
📝 1406
not a hayseed
pinned post!
Unsolicited advice. With a side of judgment.
5 months ago
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Influencers are showing people how to wash their underwear in hotel coffee pots and I thought you should know.
about 4 hours ago
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Mary
about 16 hours ago
I re-used an email and in changing the dates asked them to respond by February 25rd.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
2 days ago
It should be spelled CiA because I spy with my little i.
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53 years old and still smarting over never having a Barbie Dream House.
about 5 hours ago
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In my Bothered Era.
about 18 hours ago
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Our view rn from every window
1 day ago
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Is there anything worse than a cut on your hand when you’re like I know this isn’t going to heal for a week at least.
3 days ago
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Leen McBeans
3 days ago
Sometimes I get the same feeling on here like when I wander into a room and forget why
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Greg the Miller
3 days ago
oh no i tripped and fell into my recliner instead of doing my chores
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SeaTea
3 days ago
A New York minute is just a regular minute that tells you that pizza where you live sucks.
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Salty MacTavish
5 days ago
In the time before smart phones we’d spend these hours placing needles on vinyl and chucking rocks at streetlights
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I would like to slap the person that started heart hands.
4 days ago
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Karen K. Ho
7 months ago
We should have listened when the modems screamed at us.
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Michele with one l
3 months ago
Chaco’s eyebrows are on point today
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In marriage, there is one person that always folds the couch blankets and one person that never folds the couch blankets.
6 days ago
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Random Muser
7 days ago
can’t. I’m pumping up the jam
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Georgia the Explorer 🇨🇦
8 months ago
I will not ride at dawn. That’s way too early
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Mary
8 days ago
The strap on my Fitbit broke. Is that it? Have I achieved fitness?
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Going to Jolly Cholly’s if anyone wants to come along.
7 days ago
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Going to Jolly Cholly’s if anyone wants to come along.
7 days ago
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Chris Steller
8 days ago
If was an Olympic figure skater, I would simply not fall.
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I will never recover from the ick I got from Morrissey riding that tractor.
8 days ago
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Salty MacTavish
11 days ago
But for the killing, I loved everything about my years aboard a 19th-century whaling vessel
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My sister googling coworkers homes to see what’s safe to eat at the work potluck.
11 days ago
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A makeup routine so simple, it can be done in Dunkin’s drive thru.
11 days ago
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Smoke & Mirrors
16 days ago
Kid Rock just stole my catalytic converter
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Salty MacTavish
13 days ago
Man I miss crop circles and skinny jeans.
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Salty MacTavish
13 days ago
You’re too edgy for me, my guy. I listen to Al Jarreau and take pictures of glass doorknobs
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I don’t know who you think you are. But you ain’t.
13 days ago
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Sunshine Jarboly
13 days ago
one time when i was a kid my family took care of an injured squirrel that had fallen out of a tree. we tried to nurse it back to health for about a month but it showed no signs of improvement until one day my dad realized that it was just a simple pine cone.
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Crows can hold a grudge for 17 years and I feel this in my soul
13 days ago
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
15 days ago
I read Shel Silverstein as a kid, we’re not the same
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Another day another text fight.
13 days ago
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Omg DRAFTS!
13 days ago
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Salty MacTavish
14 days ago
When I go to the dentist I show them a picture of a radio announcer calling a baseball game from the 1930’s and say I want teeth just like that
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TeenagePhlebotomy
14 days ago
rage verification
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Scotch Tape™️
14 days ago
I have a list of people I’m disappointed with in my drafts folder.
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Thank you for your ire.
14 days ago
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You can’t emoji your way out of this
14 days ago
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That heady mix of rage and satisfaction
14 days ago
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Lizzlepants 🐒
14 days ago
hi I love your dog ~me awkwardly to anyone walking by with a dog
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Charlie Alzamora
15 days ago
Before leaving the vet, the receptionist mentioned the bill and I said "Put it on my Tabby" and the cat looked like "See what I gotta deal with?"
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KnewNic🖕🏼🧊
17 days ago
Welcome to your 50’s Your body parts now predict the weather
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Hours in and I still don’t have the uniforms straight
16 days ago
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I went too far down the rabbit hole.
16 days ago
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raindro
19 days ago
a watched skeet never bangs
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Watching the Olympics while executing a perfect 17 second plank.
16 days ago
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I am a woman of Strong Aversions.
16 days ago
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I hope Bad Bunny can knock the Kendrick Lamar song out of my head thats been on there since the last Super Bowl.
17 days ago
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My friend’s ancestor story: 1783 (in the seventh year of the Independence), a wife was granted a divorce on the basis of her husband committing incestuous adultery. It was signed:
17 days ago
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