before you share that joke edit picture of sonic the hedgehog in adult situations that could be sexually suggestive, just be aware that this is now apparently [checks notes] grooming minors online which is just as serious of a violation as picking on a dev i guess

"Every person is gonna have autism": the single policy issue me and grandpa can see eye to eye on 🤝

slightly increase a band: I tearfully sign my farewell to my friends and family. I know what must be done to slightly increase the band, but I don't know if I have the heart to follow through. As I step out the door, I steel myself and put on "Too Drunk to Fuck" one last time

Pedocon theory is more sound than the theory of gravity at this point.

when i french kiss a bat these days i put a dental dam on it first. for public health

those are the cool answers but it's probably Thrift Shop

man I don't think the surface of the moon is a healthy environment for those bikini clad women :/ and we gotta get them back from the aliens!

Adam Friedland: there’s one of these guys just named Pikachu? RZA: oh yeah Pikachu Adam Friedland: Pikachu is in the Wu Tang clan? RZA: yo so what’s crazy about that is that Pikachu had that name before Pokémon

just lettin y'all know that, if my Wizards ever become even mildly relevant again, this is going to become the most annoying account on this app

It's okay — it'll all work out. don't worry. be happy.

I GOT BULLETS FEVER, BABY!!!!!! (it's terminal)

HANG JOHN WALL'S JERSEY IN THE RAFTERS! HE GAVE US THIS ONE FINAL ASSIST.

as a Wizards fan, this is my Super Bowl

I've unlocked the recipe for being funny online. You gotta be a bit horny. Like not "total prefrontal cortex bypass" horny, but "might send a risky text" horny

It's Justus, Bertrude. we can be a lil naughty 😏

Happy Mother's Day from this legend

Zwei Seelen wohnen, ach! in meiner Brust

Even under Erdogan's extreme democratic backsliding. For example, just on a pure numerical scale, a far higher % of the people under Turkish state control are 1) citizens and 2) therefore able to vote. Roughly 40% of Israel's subjects are stateless and can't vote.

Someone on Twitter said that if you hate Israel for its apartheid then you to have to hate Turkey too, which putting aside that I don't really care if you hate Turkey, Turkey is in every single demonstrable way a more democratic state than Israel in 2026. I mean by every single metric. All of them.

Just met Donald Trump in his iconic red hat!

i lived bitch

Okies ;w; Sorry...

But they were, all of them, deceived... for ANOTHER nut was milked.......

Happy birthday to John Brown, who knew exactly how to handle the south’s “Peculiar Institution”

Happy Piccolo Day

"I've never heard earned wealth phrased this way" Karl Marx:

“I treat politics very seriously” and “my political beliefs are what define me as a human being” seem like statements on the same end of some sort of axis but I think they’re kind of opposite

He's giving Ted Bundy in the black and white photo tho 💀

Least psychotic Lakers fan

I have said often that white people wield the benefit of the doubt like a bludgeon. It is one of their most potent, tempting and common weapons. It extends outsized reach to bad actors, gives them leverage & is simple & effective. It has killed us many times over. So I no longer extend it.

stimming! at the home goods (in the soft blanket section)

This is pure sadism

not to get too political but y'all should really be much angrier about this and demand that they reinstate @pussy.faith, the woman in this screenshot.

> No account is suspended or removed without human oversight. there you have it. every trans woman banned by staff was manual and not automated. someone on the team decided that a woman complaining about being harassed for her rape was worth being banned for and sent that out as an email

fully honk-shoo-pilled this morning, just absolutely drowsymaxxing 😴😴😴

Oh come the fuck on man how come every morning it’s more Airbud shit to wake up to, except the dog can only play basketball if it’s racist or whatever

when i show up in your mentions

so you're telling me a white dude calls for mods to "clean house" of trans people, furries, and leftists he doesn't like, the head moderator of the website likes a bunch of his tweets, and then the next day the moderators begin purging the website of trans people, furries, and leftists? strange!

The Supreme Court justices who gutted the Voting Rights Act were appointed by Republican presidents over multiple decades. Kamala Harris has nothing to do with that. What the fuck are you talking about

babe wake up the president is anti-christ posting again

hey, "trust and safety" assholes, great work suspending even more of my trans friends for pointing out the neither trustworthy nor safe nature of Bluesky T&S leadership! The head of T&S liking porn-spambot posts on his official account is bad, but suspending people for pointing it out? crybaby shit

This website is fucking unusable if they're just gonna ban every trans woman who points out that the head of trust and safety on here was caught liking porn on his official account, especially Cara, who is one of the very few people who makes this place even slightly fun to use

They suspended @cara.city for this!!! Dogshit website run by absolute babies. It is a Serious Violation to point out that the head of trust and safety’s pants fell down and everyone saw his little red ass and laughed

Look at these fucking assholes. If anyone needs to be taken down a peg it’s whiny garbage like this who can’t handle people advocating for disability accommodations. Shut the fuck up. No offense.

STATEMENT FROM COUNSEL: the allegations against Slippy Toad are baseless. why would he be on some else’s flight logs? we’re going to fight this to the end.

Battlestar Galactica is better than Everybody Loves Raymond.

Kyle Rittenhouse already has a deep necrotized crater where his soul should be, so the effects of this bite shouldn't be anything new to him. For everyone else who lives in the Brown Recluse's native range--generally the Sun Belt--please make sure to be very careful when unfolding clothes.

#MeltdownMay continues as @penfoldsfiv.bsky.social is suspended by Aaron for posting constitutionally protected speech