if you invented public libraries today, every opinion page in the country would be arguing for means tested subsidized Amazon Prime memberships

there are two absolutely canonical Good Friday posts

Talking of banger tweets

you ever just trying to drink your coffee while gazing at the internet as if it was a lake and then

Y E A H

There was a Passover-themed haiku contest at the community seder. My entry, which received a solid round of applause: Frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs Frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs Frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs

... during Holy Week. He fired the Chaplain. During Holy Week.

what next? what, are we gonna provide *roads* for the wealthy too? gonna have health inspectors keep contaminants out of their groceries? are we just gonna have gutters and sewer systems around rich people's homes?

Man if Mychal AND Miss Rachel showed up to say they were disappointed in me I would simply die

This is powerful, if true. More of this. Refuse. Stand on principle.

The loss of 22 episode seasons means we're losing out on the time honored tradition of "episode in which recurring character is suddenly turned evil via MacGuffin and now the actor gets to have fun"

DAVID BYRNE: Water dissolving! Water removing! ME: Oh yeah? DAVID BYRNE: There is water at the bottom of the ocean 🙂 ME: That’s so cool buddy. Did you learn that at school today? DAVID BYRNE: Remove the water 😡 carry the water 😡 ME: Hm how about we carry some juice in your sippy cup bud?

Pete Hegseth just removed the ban on service members not being able to carry their own personal firearms, because hey, who doesn’t want a possibly PTSD-filled, possibly anger-driven, possibly domestic violence-charged, individual armed with their own choice of weapon on their base? AMERICA!

Nice aspersions. Gonna cast em somewhe—HEY

are you an absolute piece of shit? do you have so little chill no one knows how you’re even still alive? do you *hate* with every fiber of your being? the trump administration wants YOU

DOG TEACHER: did you finish your homework DOG STUDENT: (still chewing) almost

Just think in 100 years family heirlooms will be garbage from amazon with brand names like TFANYKO

In other news, I couldn't remember Anita Bryant's name so I googled "orange juice homophobe" and you know what

Seeing a lot of “we went to the moon instead of funding healthcare” takes and want to note it is a false dichotomy. The US could easily do both, but the politicians and people who finance them have chosen to make Americans suffer. And they avoid paying taxes to make it harder to help Americans.

If you have access to care and just general low-grade nervousness about getting a mammogram: it's way easier and quicker than I thought it would be. Go forth & get screened!

may this define her for the rest of her life. she was willing to stoop this low and still got fired. girl, bye.

"Multiple Fingertip Amputations Reported" is why you should subscribe for our Recall Emails.

I really appreciate the "fuck you" expression on this bird's face

"Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism" by JD Vance

Use automation if you want to, but don't pretend that you putting the coin in the machine means you made the Mars bar that drops out.

a woman is at peak mental clarity right after parking her car, sitting in silence before getting out to go where she’s going it’s like we don’t exist for 5 minutes. sitting in the liminal space between Existing In The World. Schrödinger's lady.

The release of Microsoft Outlook was closer to the launch of Apollo 11 than it is to today, lol

So they can boldly go where no-one has gone before

🎶 VIRAL CRYPTO DEATH SCAM 🎶

A thing of beauty—Voyager 1 is calling home right now and the Madrid station is also connected to Artemis 2. You can watch the deep space network live anytime you want. eyes.nasa.gov/apps/dsn-now...

"i have two Microsoft Outlooks, and neither one of those are working." The Astronauts truly representing us all up there.

i'm so sorry we've sent these souls to the moon and they're using outlook?

I've had a movie on while I"m working and I just noticed all the guns have prop department labels on the trigger guards

The astronauts sholde recorde a bunch of Mountain Goats songes while thei are up ther and release them as an EP titled The Moontain Goats. Thanke you Ich will be heere all weeke.

shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? sweaty

This is so cool. From 2015: Italian astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti has an espresso on the International Space Station while wearing a Star Trek DS9 uniform.

Astronaut Christina Koch (no relation) is set to become the first woman to ever orbit the moon..

Astronaut Victor Glover is set to become the first person of color in human history to leave low Earth orbit and embark upon a lunar mission. #ArtemisII

After seeing the Earth from the moon, Neil Armstrong said it changed his perception of humanity. Before there were arbitrary divisions and strife, but afterwards he only saw one people, all losers who hadn't been on the moon ever.

We’re at teen art club again 😎

What a rollercoaster, man

Raising money to buy Matt an awful sword he does not want is objectively the funniest thing we have ever done on @warrocketajax.com

sorry have to add my favorite one

the tortoise lives, as per helena horton at the guardian

boldly go. via @sciam.bsky.social

There are now 10 toilets in Space International Space Station: 4 Crew Dragon Docked at ISS: 1 Soyuz Docked at ISS: 1 Tiangong Space Station: 2 Shenzhou Docked at TSS: 1 Artemis II on way around Moon: 1 This will be the first time a toilet has left low earth orbit!

Girls only want one thing and it's to conduct a go/no-go poll of flight controllers before deciding to launch the next phase of the mission.