There’s a guy at work we call The Computer. He’s not smart or anything, it’s that if we leave him alone for 10 minutes he goes into sleep mode.

I put baby oil on my screen so I can skeet faster.

Might just be heaven on earth if all the self righteous religious folks do fk off...rapture, rupture whatever :p

Good morning JB !!🌞🌺 Happy new week ! It's #Monday again...🥱

This is real valor : Give Private Jess Larochelle the VC www.ourcommons.ca/petitions/en...

Beeswax? More like BOOswax kitchentableworks.etsy.com

just heard someone call stephen miller peewee german

I see Paris I see France I have got the Rapture right here for you (it's in my pants)

Mah Na Mah NA

They've found a ton of shit in the bible mistranslated over the years but the funniest thing would be if the Rapture was actually "Raptors" and many many raptors came down and ate a bunch of self-righteous churchy fucks.

Smart.

you know that high-pitched squeak turtles make when they’re fuckin a shoe sometimes if i fall asleep with my head in a certain position i wake myself up making that sound don’t tell anyone this is private

Here is my fun new article about him suing the New York Times for a lot of money and the judge saying pls get the fuck outta my face with this shit and come back when you can act like you got some sense ballsandstrikes.org/law-politics...

A Black man and a homeless man were found hanging from trees in Mississippi yesterday, for those who haven’t seen yet because it’s barely made it out of local news.

Instead of recognizing Israel’s genocide in Gaza & upholding its commitment to the International Humanitarian Law & Genocide Convention, Canada banned artists who speak the truth to the power & labeled them as “supporting terrorist organizations”. Instead of sanctioning the actual terrorists. Shame

I hope everyone is doing all right, especially those of you whom with I have chatted. Have a great or at least decent Saturday and a lovely weekend.

Just got a deal on a used one simonandpatrick.com/product/song...

Stephen Colbert: “Tonight we’re all Jimmy Kimmel…. With an autocrat, you can’t give an inch. If ABC thinks that this is going to satisfy the regime, they are woefully naive, and clearly they've never read The Children's Book If You Give a Mouse A Kimmel.”

For those of you canceling your Disney+ subscriptions, consider signing up for a PBS service. They have great content and could use the money.

His Internet went out so he's shitposting in the streets.

Blah blah blah - Make hunting a challenge let the deer bite back :p untamedscience.com/biodiversity...

I wanted to get a video of this ghost crab but every time I got close to their hole they scuttled back in, so I tried getting clever with it. I made a little sandcastle and shoved my phone into it, hit record, and walked away. Crab was VERY suspicious of this addition to their environment.

“Do you want me to give you lots of attention or leave you alone?” Me: Yes.

I found a list: stopmediabiasnow.com/abc-advertis...

The person being quoted is shitty but he is not wrong; I did not work in tv for 45 years, but I’ve worked news/mag advertising and/or digital marketing for 25 or so - and if you want to grab a media company’s attention by the short hairs, yes: bitch to their advertisers, not their inboxes.

Just now, 11 state and city lawmakers were arrested by DHS police on the 10th floor of 26 Federal Plaza after a hour of demanding access to the ICE lock up on the same floor. @thecity.nyc

A free and democratic society cannot silence comedians because the President doesn’t like what they say. This is an attack on free speech and cannot be allowed to stand. All elected officials need to speak up and push back on this undemocratic act.

WELCOME TO NEWS

I’ve been helping newcomers in public libraries for 20 years and these are two things I know: moving to Canada as an immigrant or refugee is a lot of paperwork and even more emotional labour. Also immigrants and refugees make our cities more interesting and excellent places.

Normalize getting out of conversations by asking how their lobotomy went

hope y’all don’t mind if i post a little ass

ugh I hate this I saw some UFOs that fly in lines like geese and honk like geese, but nobody believes me

I was so fortunate attend the closing performance of Free Shakespeare in the Park's TWELFTH NIGHT on Sunday at the revitalized Delacorte. Sensational theater, freely shared, and a testament to the importance of public arts in NYC.

"They're politicians, what are they supposed to do? Literally fight in the streets?" Unashamed to say this made me cry.

Canadian politicians (Scheer) and Poilievre's wife are both using Twitter to incite violence against and call for retribution against a canadian journalist, will you do anything about that? how is that legal, and why are you all on twitter still? every single day the owner is targeting people.

Contemplating a world in which Canadian politicians don't give standing ovations to racist dickbag podcasters

Why should good people condemn this? These vile people are living in their own reality and dragging down everyone with them. He lived in a world he was creating. He died in that same world. The rest of us don't have to live there.

That's very disappointing from the House of Commons. They had no business even recognizing Kirk. They owe Canada an apology.

Thank You! ⚡️🇺🇸⚡️ #Republican vs #Democrat Positions on Assassinations!!!!!! (We have heard more re CK, in a few days, than anything regarding, this dedicated state representative, #MelissaHortman -in 3 months!) Now they’re trying to blame the Democrats!!! 4 a Gun-Loving #GOP family! ⚡️🙏⚡️ #Guns

Wild that I have to face the consequences of my actions every Monday but elected officials and rich criminals keep evading it week after week, year after year

The presence of Brazil and South Korea is kind of remarkable considering we just got clear evidence of how both countries function *far* better than the U.S.

Lyrics The Odds : Someone who's cool Close but kind of meatless Like actors who play Jesus in movies of the week What other people wish for oozes from every pore I'm the coffee not the sleep what a great tune

me: what are you in for cell mate: murder, you me: I quoted a dead man

The 400 richest Americans are now worth a record $6.6 trillion, after getting $1.2 trillion richer over the past year alone. Meanwhile, the rest of the country is getting squeezed by tariffs and high prices for groceries, utilities, and health care. The system is broken.

You have to admit, it's rather entertaining that the people who bitch and moan 24/7 that free speech is under attack sure hate when people use their free speech.

Happy #Straturday everyone! Order yours before the next round of price increases from Dementia Grandpa...

why'd you gotta go and make things so constipated

If box art told the truth

2nd Amendment, but with these conditions.