really cannot be emphasized enough that bari weiss has literally never done journalism. i don’t mean that in the pejorative sense. i mean that in the “has never performed the job she was hired to do” sense

Local woman wakes up, starts the OAT (oatmeal access tv) network, a media empire that provides unbiased reporting of all news stories unless you say something bad about oatmeal, makes oatmeal.

The Erica Kirk Cirque du MAGA stuff seems like satire, apart from the fact that it’s not funny at all.

In the days leading up to Christmas I always like to share some old Christmas cards and photos that @feistywaters.com and myself have done over the years together. For this one we go back to 2018 when we thought the dumpster joke would be funny. Wow was the joke on us.

Local woman wakes up, sends all the Alberta and Saskatchewan separation enthusiasts to a pocket universe so they can truly create something new and independent for themselves and leave the rest of us out of it, makes oatmeal.

That time I chilled with the Grinch at Van Dusen Gardens in 2013.

Last year I made cookies for my coworkers. This year I brought masks.

I am begging Good People™️ to remember that the "Epstein Files" are pages and pages of documented evidence of serial sexual abuse. This is not the type for fucking memes, my God.

Local woman wakes up, seeks supernatural and other magical/ non religious vibes to give her the strength to get through the next 3 days of work, makes oatmeal.

You and your pets are cute enough without using gen AI. Cheesy selfies over AI slop any day.

Envious of people who can sleep when they’re sick. Or not sick. Or really sleep at all.

Local woman wakes up, announces the oatmeal games, a 4 day breakfast event where a couple people from each Canadian province and territory get together to commiserate about the weather, brainstorm whimsically nefarious ways to change the world and eat oatmeal, makes oatmeal.

It’s imperative that you share pet photos, or Dolly Pawton will be sad.

The name "Popular Science" doesn't mean we shift our coverage depending on public opinion. It means we cover relevant subjects that are rigorously researched, reliable, and grounded in reality. And trans lives are grounded in reality. We see y'all. No matter what. www.popsci.com/science/tran...

Social media is terrible a lot of the time but it’s also a way to find other weirdos who get your X-Files references and for that, I am thankful.

Local woman wakes up, sends the billionaires on a research expedition into a volcano in Washington where they’re infected by a silicon based fungus that hosts on their bodies and destroys them from within, makes oatmeal.

Sleepy potato.

Portrait of a sick girl on the couch next to a blanket wrapped dog who is much more zen than her about it all.

In case you need some muppet joy as much as I do today. youtu.be/tgbNymZ7vqY

This story was a bit lost in all the news of Brown, Bondi and the Rob and Michele Reiner murders, but holy fuck this is awful too.

Local woman wakes up, whispers into the void (because her throat hurts) but the void understands, makes oatmeal.

Fuck yeah gluten free Walker’s shortbread!

It’s nice to know some sports organizations have principles.

Local woman wakes up, gives all the pipeline loving conservatives a backyard tailing pond and a couple orphan wells for Christmas, makes oatmeal.

Dolly of the North (Central Edmonton).

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

I’m curious to know how many times the Onion has used this headline (I know it’ll be depressingly high).

We need more shelters and housing, amputations from frostbite are preventable. www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

Local woman wakes up, just can't even with today, makes oatmeal.

It's fucked up how many guns and mass shootings there are in the United States, it's fucked up that people were murdered at a Hanukkah celebration in Australia, it's fucked up that genocidal war criminals like Netanyahu stay in power. Many things can be fucked up at once.

Got some beautiful Justina Smith cards at the Otto winter market.

TFW your friends live in the Battle River-Crowfoot riding and sneakily put their Poilievre family Christmas card at your house while visiting.

Vice President of the Elf Union.

Oops, I made and ate a pizza again.

Local woman wakes up, unionizes the elves, reindeer and other essential Christmas workers, makes oatmeal.

I love these two more than cake.

Only sands.

Festive Friday pizza.

Local woman wakes up, is named person of the year for telling people to not rely on generative AI for everything and use critical thinking skills, makes oatmeal.

Bought the most delightful Jeremy Tankard Christmas cards.

Local woman wakes up, requires foreign tourists to prove they’ve watched Mr Dressup, Degrassi, You Can’t Do That on Television, Road to Avonlea, Kids in the Hall, Due South, Schitt’s Creek, Kim’s Convenience, Shoresy and North of North before they can visit Canada, makes oatmeal.

I’ve worked in public libraries for 20 years, today was the first time we’ve had to tell someone they couldn’t bring their chainsaw in the library.

Because Wednesday.

We’ve created the perfect sickness storm because whether you have covid or not right now, whatever sickness you have is probably worse because Covid damaged your immune system or other organs. But still we do almost nothing to prevent or reduce multiple Covid infections.

So, if this happens, Canadian artists essentially aren't going to be able to take jobs in the US unless they've been silent on the administration for half a decade (which, let's be honest, is unlikely). Absolutely wild, dystopian stuff. www.lbc.co.uk/article/trum...

Local woman wakes up, adds a mute button to politicians that is activated anytime they spew racism, misogyny and other hatred, makes oatmeal.

Paint me like one of your French potatoes.

This is one of the most incredible books I’ve ever read, truly on the same excellent level as Persepolis and Maus in its brutal honesty and complexity of family histories. It’s beautiful, painful and masterfully written and illustrated.

This is our new CEO, Javier. I have officially adopted him. He is estimated to be 8 years old and he's deaf, so there's no need to give any feedback on his job performance. He is just a perfect gentlemen and I am so grateful he made his way to me. 14/10 no bias at all

Wow: Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention (named for Holocaust survivor Raphael Lemkin, who coined term "genocide") calls Clinton's remarks "genocide denial." "Young people in the US are not stupid or gullible. They simply reject genocide – something the Secretary might consider doing as well."