my dad and i got into an elevator with pat sajak and his son(?) and right when i thought my dad would keep his mouth shut he said “i’d like to buy a vowel” like it was the funniest thing in the world, to dead silence. later sajak tweeted something about what a long day it’d been

I used to manage wine programs for movie theaters and I am in the extremely unique position to say with professional certainty that the answer here is a crisp Albariño.

but in yet another chapter of LLMs Are Weird, it occasionally drops into a mode where it’s convinced it’s a trade representative from “Phand,” seemingly a made up place I plugged it into a local voice assistant demo project and it went into a lengthy diary about its work day in such a profession

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

When you ask me to read more than three posts

probably time to start my 2026 predictions. larry ellison and kid rock buy the entire bourbon industry in mid-2026, with a 15-40% handout to donald trump, rename jim beam to liberal tears.

ok guys its time to catch the turkey lets lock in

if the vault is near, muffled Ode to Joy plays. when it opens, a full arrangement of Ode to Joy explodes out. Die Hard is about untraceable bearer bonds luring Hans Gruber with a siren song and using him to break out of jail. final score: Takagi dead. Gruber dead. Bonds soaring free through the air

LOGGING ON

i'm at the combination Big Dial Taht Says Racism and Trying To Remove It

Kendrick Lamar Awarded Nobel Beef Prize

-2 penalty to all wife checks due to crude/makeshift wife

At least we have the foreign press to tell us how it is

Losing your woman to a karate man… is something you did Yo kids spending crimus in the karate man house is yo fault Gone and cry

*insane bass and drum hits* [les claypool into a bullet mic] my name is plurbis

Some of these redactions are almost like modern art

Minnesota King 2028

SEASON'S GREASONS

I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

(fantasy painting meme where the big monster is labeled Getting Both My Kids Ready In The Morning and the tiny hero is labeled Me and the sword is labeled One Cup Of Coffee)

A big part of the problem in the US is that “the left” has not been meaningfully present in national politics for so long that people can say it is just about anything and it will strike readers as plausible. Americans have “heard of it” and that’s about it, making it a blank slate for charlatans.

God: [takes massive rip off three-chambered bong with an ice catch] "Ok so it's like...like a slippery swamp mouse. But its back legs are huge. Normal legs up front. Eats flies." God's friend Brendan: "How does it get the flies?" God: "Bro you are not ready for this-

Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.

It costs $0 to retweet this photo of Sy Ableman on the cover of Wife Magazine

what’s up Joyce hear me out on this…Joyce Carol x Goats…cd be very powerful collab…hmu

I keep thinking about this and "our byzantine half-measure policy we failed to adequately explain or defend was blocked by an even more arcane legal process that we've completely lost control of, resulting in a good thing happening totally by accident" is really a peak Biden policy. They're right

Plex Submits $35 Bid For Warner Bros.

Quentin Tarantino should have gone by Q. ‘Who Is The Enigmatic Q Behind Kill Bills 1&2? Nobody Knows Anything About Him, Includinf What He Jacks Off To.’ Wouldn’t that be nice?

no one has ever gotten the spirit of our country as right as paul verhoeven making robocop

This is such a powerful image

Banger

people thought Judith Butler was exaggerating before but she's been proven right, i think

the median dragon's hoard is now too small to attract even the most idiotic adventurers. enter: questrium, the bold, new startup empowering even stupider peasants to embark on even more ill-advised quests

I'm excited to announce that I have been asked to join the Mamdani Transition Team to work on community safety issues. A New Era for NYC.

if all three of us are around in two years no device on earth will make me be calm about it

KOKO THE GORILLA SERVING INDICTMENT TO HARVARD EPSTEIN ASSOCIATE: Felony professor.

Loving this Larry Summers arc where he’s like, wow taking a step back from leadership now that I found out about my own behavior which I have had access to at all times