Them: So what fandoms are you in? Me: I'm a flurry Them: Oh cool I actually just commissioned my OC yesterday- Me: No, you misunderstand me. I'm a small swirling mass of snow or leaves, moved by sudden gusts of wind. Them: Oh, that sounds hard... Me: Nah, it's a breeze.

Lurdy Lurdy I'm turning 30

This is it, I'm officially turning 30 today!

YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY

Just a reminder that my birthday isn't until February 3rd, so there's still time if you wanna contribute!

Just a reminder that my birthday isn't until February 3rd, so there's still time if you wanna contribute!

Still collecting that bday cash in order to avert the creation of Skynet!

Listen, we don't have much time. I'm you from the future, and only you can prevent my future. In the future, I have a really sucky 30th birthday party. But if you follow this link, well, you may just be able to prevent that. Good luck, kid. www.tumblr.com/mellodyevang...

Listen, we don't have much time. I'm you from the future, and only you can prevent my future. In the future, I have a really sucky 30th birthday party. But if you follow this link, well, you may just be able to prevent that. Good luck, kid. www.tumblr.com/mellodyevang...

some more

my husband isn’t even playing a star wars video game, but I just heard him say: “help me, Obi-Wan, I have a huge boner”

Lmaoooo

Im hooting on it

bro Dad didn't even pay to remove the watermark. I just can't live like this.

When god made the alligator he didn't know that the devil would make me

In the slime dimension, where everything is made of foul, viscous secretions, there exists a class of person lower than the rest of the slimey inhabitants. What utter filth could possibly be deemed lower than that which itself is already as lowly and vile as can be? They're called goobros 👨‍💻

Chat what could this mean

Art house movie remake concept: So get this, we remake that Narnia movie with nothing but frat bros in all of the roles and we don't really even give them many lines, just vibes honestly and we call it "The Man, the Myth, and the Legend"

Thrinaxodon and broomistega! Triassic cuddle 💕🌿

Why does it feel like everything you find at the store now is the temu version of the same products from 20 years ago?

a court has officially ruled that transgender people can have warrior ethos

Everyone always talking about spontaneous combustion. Well what about spontaneous cum busting? Yeah, didn't think so, liberal.

Guy who's sounding his dick with a meat thermometer: oh shit I'm running a fever

CONSERVATIVES WILL LITERALLY lick their eyes, blink asynchronously, then hop to the next lily pad and think nothing of it

Plant Based? Yeah, I guess they're alright

One of 4 paintings I will have in the Briscoe Western Art Museum's, "Night of Artists", exhibition opening March 30, 2025. "The Ravenswood Conspiracy," oil on linen, 36"x24". #ravens #art #oilpainting #westernart #wildlifeart #artshow

Real American Patriots trans their gender at least once a day. Currently my gender is Girl* . . . *Shade Coral Amber from the Behr 2013 Spring Collection

Oh I'm sucking on the cock of the babe watching the balls fling by

Logic is going to tell you to piss, but really, you should pee.

who up gulping they pussy

Uh oh chums, look out: there's a new cowboy in town and his name is Airborne Cholera

"Dabbin on that stank nasty" by Lil Dee Jay Columbine will play ad infinitum in the lobby as long as sour attitudes persist.

Could this be the re-emergence of the butt sex bull market? "Remains to be seen" economic analysts say

Expert Wallstreet traders are saying that booty hole stocks are on the rise

(First day on the job as a rapper) Uh yeah they took my booty hole to the gallows watch your ankles I'm a shark prowlin the shallows Whispering into mic: am I doing this right

Some days you suck a dick. Other days, the dick sucks you. 😔 #RealOnesUnderstand

This shit is straight up whacky

taking a massive bong rip as roman empire interiority disease havers attempt to wage holy war on ai cultists at a world-ending scale "i'm fucking farting" walmartdogGPT spams over and over god smiles upon you and takes you away in the Rapture just before the blast radius catches your home

Post fictional characters that have got you bricked up. I'll start: Montressor

Who wants to invest in my new Dad's Chair company? It's called Papa Squad.

I had a dream about a lady on YouTube who became famous for her pop rendition of "You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch" except she changed the lyrics a bit to be about her ex-bf. The chorus went something like "If I am a problem, it's cuz I'm a Mary Sue. If I have a problem, it's the Grinch. It's you"