Oh that was unhappiness this is depression dumbass.

“No I’m not good at it!”

Recognize when you’re out of juice. Head to the grocer. Stock up your fridge. A metaphor.

Dropped Mark Andrews after the last 2 weeks. Joke’s on me 😑

I love you unconditionally, but the novelty has definitely worn off…

Back on my “release the Epstein files” shit 🙋🏻‍♀️

Why is he asking us to investigate him?

Third party? I didn’t even get invited to the first 2 parties!!

Man, those old Garfield games before Davis got off the blow really went dark...

For context, the GAP x KATSEYE ad has gotten about 1M views a day for the last month 🤣🫶

Tired: Disney+ Wired: Disney-

Every year blueberries get a little bigger. I hope I live to see blueberries the size of a plum.

Idk, seems unseemly.

If I would have asked Chat GPT to make a penis eulogize a dick I don't think that it would come up with any difference.

Rapture day! #grwm

#Boycott #Disney

what if we kissed in hamburglar jail

Charlie Kirk is the new MAGA hat

I appreciate your effort. 🩷

screaming at the voices in my head to shut the fuck up

non-radioactive wife, happy life

Disney didn’t just incur a $3.8 billion loss overnight. If the boycott continues, it could escalate to over $20 billion. This is how you combat fascism.

Inject that howling Gershwin-ass clarinet solo straight into my veins! 😩

THE LATE NIGHT ICE CREAM TRUCK WAS TOTALED IN A CAR CRASH OUTSIDE MY HOUSE, whhhyyhyyyyy???? 😭😭😭

In the pilot episode of Murder, She Wrote, Jessica’s first book is published and it’s a bestseller. By the 4th episode, she’s published 6 novels and the first book is being made into a movie. By the 12th episode, she’s appointed as an interim congressperson after Maine’s congressional rep dies.

New government mandate: All Virgin Mary statues to be replaced by Charlie Kirk statues. Because fuck women.

If your political representative is not also willing to put their job in jeopardy to do what’s right and defend your Constitutional rights - FUCKING PRIMARY THEM!!!

This is unrepentantly based of her.

I had a history teacher in HS who sold candy before class. When she’d talk about historical amounts of money in her lecture, she would quip, “That’s a lot of Junior Mints!!”

it could just have the cheezies still in it, no money

I openly acknowledge that I had to drop my first attempt at the required Poli. Sci. class at university because I had an existential crisis about how our government is based on “majority rule” and who or how the majority is determined is often manipulated to suit those with power and/or money 🫠

If they were willing to go to all that trouble for Tom Homan and $50k, imagine the lengths they’ll continue to go to making sure we never see the unredacted Epstein files…

“I don’t usually give advice…” (Proceeds to give advice)

[cheerful orchestral music]

i cannot fucking believe this but i just turned back around, tripped over my cat and WALKED RIGHT INTO THIS 😭

Donald Trump has singled-handedly changed the definition of the word “hot” to no longer mean “cool” or “attractive” 😬 it is now cringe to be “hot.”

Ya know how people say “just Josh-ing you!” There should be more people’s names that are verbs. I can absolutely imagine someone saying, “that’s some epic Brian-ing. Way to Katie it! You just Steve’d sooo hard…”

The vibes are impeachable.

I shoulda majored in calvinball.

The ENTIRE POINT of the First Amendment IS NOT TO HAVE THIS HAPPEN.

1. Telling trans people that even if Democrats won't protect us we should be selfless and vote for them to protect other people is a shitty thing to say. Asking for our rights and calling out Dems when they won't support us doesn't help fascists. Tell Democrats to support and defend us instead.

Third Eye Blind’s song Horror Show was originally released as a b-side in 1997… But the cult following and popularity of the song inspired them to rerecord it in 2020, and they made this amazing music video for it in 2021, 24 years later.

The U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia investigating Letitia James and James Comey resigned under pressure on Friday after Trump called for his ouster due to his unwillingness to pursue bullshit cases and IT'S A LONG DRIVE TO DEEP LEFT FIELD, HOME RUN #250 BY NICK CASTELLANOS.

Best movie soundtrack? Varsity Blues

Best movie soundtrack? Queen of the Damned

Best movie soundtrack? Garden State (2004)