*bangs table* CHAOS WITH ED MILIBAND

I truly believe that Wes Streeting has the ideas, the charisma, and the likeability to be an even more historically hated Prime Minister than Keir Starmer

Wow, Stormy Daniels talked about this too. So many similarities between them.

He’s on a mission from God.

My considered opinion is this: I met Ed Miliband earlier this year, and on the strength of his ability to hold a tape measure for me -as well as his willingness to do so in the pissing rain- I would say he's excellent Prime Minister material

Why yes, a bit of a boogie in the rain is absolutely called for, since you asked. If you're going to get soaked through at work, you need to have a bop to keep warm, I say

Well @salix.bsky.social and I are going to see my old mucker @conwoman69.bsky.social on Thursday. Any donations before we cross the Watford Gap could make a real difference to his life. Please give generously youtu.be/qzTYNhWoLZ4?...

Columbo in his first episode looks like a dog that's just come back from the groomer

We don't yoink people with a crook enough these days.

I think we’re several years past the point where “Whoops, it was just groupthink again, silly us” is going to cut it as an explanation for one avoidable shitshow after another, don’t you

Some of the teams have interesting names. Sounds funny, to read the team names in different languages Here is the English Premier League table in Bulgarian

music is really loud math

If I was the new Director General of the BBC, I'd blow the entire annual budget on a third series of Tripods, upload it to YouTube then spill petrol all over the place and chuck a lit match over my shoulder as a sauntered out the front door to rapturous applause.x

Been reading Clive James' Cultural Amnesia again. It's a worryingly prescient piece of work within the context of being a historically-geared memoir. It is also astonishingly well written; one of those books in which the prose frequently makes me do a double take

football’s all like gimme that coconut i want it it’s beautiful but tennis is all like fuck this stupid lemon i hate it

All the lads guffawing, hooting and rolling their eyes at the stupid hippies for years. What, you think the British press has An Agenda? Absurd, delusional, do you think they are conspiring, are there lizardmen tapping your phone

Me flirting

Nigel Fuckface has made a statement about the BBC thing well COLOUR ME FUCKING SURPRISED

I met Quentin Wilson once, when he was filming in our village. I said to him "bloody typical, your show turns up on my doorstep and they send you instead of Jodie Kidd". "Funny, that's what I hear all the time these days" he replied. Seemed a nice chap, and we chatted about my Landy. *anecdote ends*

"You there! Boy! Where's your fucking poppy?"

My only problem with mutual masturbation is women look sensual and perfect while they do it, meanwhile I look like I'm trying to get information out of a suspect.

A hobby to be proud of (but then I do have form…& a history of triggering people shouting THE FOOTIE MATCH WAS A MYTH)

Where do we put it all? #knitsky

This could be a cataclysmic crossing of magicks, like the crossing of streams in Ghostbusters, but worse. 1) Invoke the double Manager of the Month and Player of the Month curse 2) Invoke the blessing of a visit to Tottenham 3) The potent combination of curse and blessing opens portal to hell.

I love my Bellator 2000 by JML, it keeps Little Dave shiny and clean all day long. Glad to see it's finally getting some global recognition 👍

Cometh the hour, cometh the trolls

Does he think they can vote?

Ah now look, this is where sport peaked for me; it's been almost all downhill from that moment (with the occasional temporary uplift). Wonderful, and the commentary still puts a lump in my throat all these years later

I monetize my hobbies by selling all the shit I bought when I get sick of the hobby

I've added 'recreational piracy' to my CV because if you haven't got the hint of a sense of humour I'm not interested in working with you anyway. Also, it'll flush out who actually reads them pretty quickly

Obviously, this is me showing off that I once again have a 30 inch waist.

My doctor asked me if I smoke or drink coffee. I told him I drink it.

I see people are getting angry about Grammarly using AI as if using Grammarly in the first place isn't an admission of monumental cuntishness

Spray tan = $150 Waxing = $100 half leg, $200 full leg Complimentary prosecco 🥂 Walk-ins accepted!! 💝

The West has Fallen. The Mayor of New York City is an Arsenal fan.

Looking for a couple of freelance proofreaders for a project I'm involved in. Anyone got recommendations (you can recommend yourself)?

Since we're definitely on baccy chat in this corner of BS, I saw a landscape gardener in Banbury last week. Business name Fencin and Hedges, lettering in white and gold and taken straight from the old B&H branding. Absolute genius.

If like @rakshadigs.bsky.social you like a flanged pot, who ya gonna call potted-history.co.uk/products/rom.... #AncientBluesky 🏺Watch Sandi Toksvig's Hidden Wonders and you'll understand what I mean. @channel4tv.bsky.social

I hope someone is writing "12 Hangry Men" about the sandwich guy jury

“Incoherent empty men want to sell me the chance to stop reading and writing and thinking, to stop caring for my kids or talking to my parents, to stop choosing what I do or knowing why I do it”

I mean, yea, I get it, but as a recent ex smoker who is still sore about not being able to have a lovely fag* with my morning brew any more can I just say, MOTHERFUCKERS. *note to American viewers, it's what cigarettes are actually called

good Reddit

Seriously though, the very fact of a fucking marketing campaign becoming some sort of annual cultural event just goes to show how shit the world is at a base level Anyway, I'm off to shout at clouds/ tilt at windmills etc

I'm not going to even entertain watching a John Lewis ad until the cowards use Drunks on a Boat by the Sweetchunks Band as the music

I pass a village called Warninglid en route to college, and my imagination has created a settlement made entirely of tupperware with a 'keep out of the reach of children' sign instead of a 'welcomes careful drivers' one

Star Trekkin by the Firm. I can't remember which shop but it was either Our Price in Bell Court, Stratford; or the record shop at the top of the Parade in Leamington

Your timely reminder that the arseholes™️ aren't bothered that the person in custody was born in the UK, or is a Brit citizen, because to them being a tad darker than magnolia means you're a migrant by default. Pointing it out to them isn't going to change their screeching