Don't hackers normally take money out of your account?

checking the bank holiday weekend weather forecast and getting excited by how fast the washing is going to dry

use any toilet you like by simply running in slightly bent over clutching your stomach and screaming out of my way

every single company that operates on the internet is determined to make the internet unusable and google is leading the way

radical idea. lifetime visas for anyone who wants to build a life here

remember if you don’t vote green in makerfield then labour might get in. you’ve been warned

"Nobody works in this town without a retainer, guys. You think you can find somebody who does, let me tell you, you have my blessing. But I think we all know that person is not going to represent you as well as I can.”

was very unsure about watching the man on fire series on netflix as the film is one my favourite in the 1 man army genre - but i have to say 3 episodes in and it’s better than i thought it would be

forget “is the glass half full or half empty” this is real optimism

imagine thinking smartphones were to blame for the declining birth rate and not the fact that everyone under 40 is poor because housing costs went vertical just before they hit working age and they never came back down

my dad, my lad, and me, doing a dinosaur jigsaw today

spent the last hour looking at different decorative stone/gravel and gravel binder options for a diy project - none of which i have the money for at the moment - i also havent finished my current diy project. feeling very well established in my 40s now.

bluesky: starmer is the worst labour pm we’ve ever had wes streeting: i’m here to change that

*clicks link in email* *browser opens to login page* *enters username and password* “We’ve sent a one time passcode to your email to verify this is you”

i’ve just finished mortal combat. the second was better.

at almost 43 years old and having moved out of my parents house 22 years ago, i have finally moved my gp registration

due to not having as much time today as i was expecting, i have 1 hour 12 mins left of mortal combat to watch before i leave to house in 50 mins to go see mortal combat 2

Non-Reform Party Councillors: Reform is a fascist, racist, discriminatory, anti-democratic party. Place a total cordon sanitaire around them: zero cooperation or contact. Don’t say good morning, hold the lift door or pass them a pen. Give their visitors wrong directions. Make them pariahs.

want to go the cinema tonight and the options are exit 8 (that i had a ticket for last week but didn’t bother going because i was tired), the devil wears prada 2 (i mean i’m going to watch it at some point), or highlander which is showing because it’s the 40th anniversary. can’t decide.

just paid £3.10 for a normal sized bag of galaxy minstrels from a vending machine and i’m ready to overthrow capitalism

just made this and omg it’s better than it should be for something so simple. 10/10 would recommend. will make again.

why can i book train tickets through uber now and why is this inevitably going to result in train tickets and prices being even worse

richard dawkins proving that regardless of level of education no boomer is safe to use modern technology

the last of it for this year fell off in the rain last night, but i do love the blossom tree in our garden. for the last few weeks the lad has been pulling clumps off it and throwing it in the air like confetti

secret 4th option where everyone dies

declaring anything cooked to modern food hygiene standards as not traditional because they are not being made by original methods

and another thing: im not scared. please dont put in the newspaper that i got scared.

£107.60 to fill the car

It's going to be even worse the next time they appoint Peter Mandelson

the first time i saw a dalek get stopped by stairs i thought that was fucking stupid because if proper robots did ever exist they would obviously be built to deal with more than just perfectly flat surfaces and oh boy was i wrong

this app is printed on a cracker

netflix is partnering with ask jeeves to help you decide what to watch

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want, some vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing. Whatever you got.

Curtains for Zoosha? K-smog and Batboy caught flipping a grunt

my idea of economics was forever changed when this girl in ninth grade was like “your family’s rich” and i said “yeah right, my dad’s a journalist and my mom’s a teacher, do the math” and she said “my dad’s a magician”

having boomer parents is weird because shit literally just worked for them

today has been a beautiful day, absolutely glorious outside, have spent hours in a garden, wouldn’t want it a degree different, perfect summer weather, shame it’s spring

have the democrats tried thoughts and prayers yet?

imagine getting further away from earth than any human before but knowing you’ve got to come back

“you crazy bastards”

sending an ICT help desk engineer to the moon to toggle bluetooth back on after 3 astronauts insist it is already on

trying to enjoy a nice quiet mcdonald’s and there are loads of kids in here running around and being loud