have the democrats tried thoughts and prayers yet?

imagine getting further away from earth than any human before but knowing you’ve got to come back

“you crazy bastards”

sending an ICT help desk engineer to the moon to toggle bluetooth back on after 3 astronauts insist it is already on

trying to enjoy a nice quiet mcdonald’s and there are loads of kids in here running around and being loud

sir we give children chocolate eggs from a magic bunny, this isn’t a serious religious holiday

Only in America could someone be called Randy George and become the highest ranked soldier in the army. Randy George here would be someone with a ban from every public toilet in Britain.

happy easter from the weird gen ai easter bunny playing in the site restaurant

casually splitting the g while waiting for my takeout pizza because the site pizza shop is in a mini pub for some reason

been swimming then spent a couple of hours on the beach with the kids, now relaxing with a tea on the deck and just watching the sea. what a beautiful day.

Reading about the making of John Boorman's Deliverance and you know that scene where Lewis (Burt Reynolds) somersaults into the waterfall...?

donald trump approaches the mic, the curtain behind him drops revealing ayatollah khamenei, they shout april fools and laugh uncontrollably together, the set up has taken weeks, many have died, but the payoff was worth it they feel

Another poll in front of Labour? We're coming for Reform next! Time for rent controls, nationalise our public services & protect our NHS. Join.greenparty.org.uk

so long scott mills

thought i was a cooldad™️ going off the high drop slide at this softplay but another dad just went off it from a standing position in the most disgusting power move i’ve ever witnessed

You deliberately misconstrue the point as ever. It's perfectly possible to argue that 1) toddlers feel they’ve had too many vegetables in recent meals 2) we should mitigate the effects of that by giving them cake for dinner and 3) we are unlikely to have too many vegetables in future

just had a thought and checked my throat using a torch and mirror and tbf tonsillitis does make a lot of sense

i still feel ill but it’s better feeling ill here than in Birmingham

my take is that public places can be noisy and busy and if you don’t like that then ok but maybe don’t be surprised by it and randomly blame kids

death is progressing nicely

my temperature is 38.8. don’t want to be over dramatic but i think i’m going to die.

project hail mary is relatable because given the choice between returning to earth or living on a planet of rock spiders the main character was immediately like “fuck earth”

when I see a bad take: [this person follows me]: oh man, they must be having a rough time, best to give grace. [this person doesn’t follow me]: what a credulous dipshit, a stupid loser who believes idiotic things

one well timed air raid on epstein island 20ish years ago and we’d all be living in a very different reality

the whole point of nuclear submarines is that we never know where they are, so the daily mail can say whatever it wants about their location

i’m not condemning trumps post because i respect that they had beef

millennials:

they literally renamed the entire company after this

i don’t know if eighty billion dollars would have been enough to solve world hunger, but i’m sure it would have helped

life threatening diarrhoea

if anyone can get oil through a blocked strait it’s diddy

marvel is fun and all but that whole “why did you say martha” bit was ridiculous and really revealed how weak the writing is. couldn’t take the magic powers seriously after that

two factor authentication

i wouldn’t tell anyone if i won the lottery but there would be signs

project hail mary is a really good film. definitely worth a trip to the cinema for. enjoyed it much more than i was expecting to.

gen ai has given elected officials the ability to demonstrate their incompetence in ways never before imagined

big shop in lidl just came to £122, this country is fucked

my mom is basically every negative stereotype you can apply to a boomer, but her roast dinners, beef casseroles, chilli, cottage pie, and many other dishes are top notch so what can you do?

completely unreasonable that my mom’s birthday is tomorrow so i’m expected to think of 2 different things to get her

“hi i’m jonny knoxville, this an oil tanker, and we’re at the strait of hormuz, welcome to jackass” could this work?

me: if z is the length of a slice and a is the area of the pie, then pi(zz)=a PhD advisor: this is what you’ve been working on for three and a half years?

i once sold a very nice electric acoustic guitar for £100 so that i would have drinking money for st patrick’s day

very disappointing to see that since i was last on here not only has politics not been resolved but it appears no progress has even been made, starting to think dunking on people online might not be the answer

has anyone seen the bride? reviews seem to be really mixed but i loved it. best film i’ve seen since one battle after another.

how is everyone? not been here in a while but sometimes some of your posts make it into the group chat (derogatory)

i’d go further and ban the internet