Carrara Markets on the Gold Coast offering the advice you didn't know you needed

Just paid for some drinks and Monzo asked if I wanted to split the bill with anyone. So I chose a random guy at the bar. He wasn't happy.

A custom advent calendar that serves up a daily dose of cringe, recalling moments like accidentally saying “love you” instead of “goodbye” to your boss.

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

make sure you drink that up, the elves have spent all year working their tiny fingers to the bone nogging the eggs for us so we can have a little wrong milk for the holidays

The main fact that stuck with me after writing a book about British Xmases is that The Times was complaining about decorations going up in October back in the *1930s*, Selfridges has had decorations up in Oct since at least the 1950s and the whole “earlier every year” thing is generally bollocks

Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair

TIL about a memorial ceremony in Iceland in 2019 to mark the end of a glacier, changing the place name from Okjökull to Ok (jökull = glacier). Uncompromising wording on the bronze plaque: "This is to acknowledge that we know what is happening and what needs to be done. Only you know if we did it".

That moment when it dawns on you that your rival gang has stolen your clothes

racists roll their eyes at this, they're not happy with any message short of 'send them all back' & they don't trust labour trying to pander to them. people who aren't racist recognise this as divisive patronising nonsense. labour's approval rating is 12% and i'm surprised it is that high

Great culture can save lives. Literally. Amazing letter in today’s @thetimes.com about Tom Stoppard

Last Christmas is a banger George Michael was a fantastic man #Whamageddon can fuck off

So, my home town is having a meltdown on social media because a 50 year old brick and concrete bus shelter is being taken down to make way for a modern replacement. Facebook posts commenced. Several a day on the Community pages. An online petition was started. And now... This.

me: do you have any black friday deals? doctor: you’re losing a lot of blood

and...2500 pianos?

Kinnock voice - "I’ll tell you what happens with impossible promises. You start with far-fetched resolutions....and you end up in the grotesque chaos of a Labour government, a *Labour* government, rejecting visas for homeless 8 yr olds trying to joing their parents"

Felt like this when mortgage payments went up a few years ago - yes, it's horrible to now be paying an extra £200 a month, but that's been happening to renters year on year and there were no sadface articles on that, just "market forces" and "nobody has a right to live in a city"

It's such a bizarre framing. Labour MPs think taking 450k kids out of poverty is putting the country first! That's why they wanted it to happen! It's not because they personally benefit.

this is amazing news - the HPV vaccine promises to eliminate cervical cancer in countries where uptake is high.

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

UK now at the point where the former Chair of the Racial Equalities Commission is calling for campaigns of terror against people of colour on the streets of the UK

🎶Papal reign, papal reign…🎶

And now…the gallery. www.infinitebacon.com

Stuff like this is a real helpful moment for everyone to stop and consider whether it was a good and smart idea to crush and hound the anti racism and anti austerity movement, because they were threatening the careers of the horrible clowns that are now in government. Has this worked out well?

Boyfriend Ready To Take Relationship To Previous Level https://theonion.com/boyfriend-ready-to-take-relationship-to-previous-level-1819568844/

THIS JUST IN: Socialism won

Where are all the "revoke Shamima Begum's citizenship she's a traitor people" today, I wonder.

“A succulent nineteen wickets?”. #ashes #thecricket

This seems like a good time to remind people that everyone in politics and media knew very well that Johnson was a bent, disastrous imbecile and that he was made Tory leader *specifically because* he was the candidate the Mail, the Sun, the Times, the Telegraph and the Express would all get behind.

The "Dominic Cummings is a genius" types were worse than Dominic Cummings because they enabled Dominic Cummings. The "Boris Johnson is a genius" types were worse than Boris Johnson because they enabled Boris Johnson. Now go away and write that out a thousand times.

Every time Dominic Cummings spouts forth again I am reminded of @daveyjones.bsky.social's Dogshit Puppet Master from 2021 in @vizcomic.bsky.social

It wasn't "appalling journalism". It was people doing what they were paid to do. If you want journalists to serve the public interest they must be paid by the public and not by billionaire cranks.

Let's see where we are in the justice stakes, eh? - Johnson: big money ChatGPT articles for the Mail. - Cummings: consultancy, Substack prick - Hancock: consultancy, book, I'm a celebrity - Sunak: prime minister, big money advisor - Gove: editor at The Spectator - Mone: still has a yacht 🏆

Everything that Rafel Behr complains about - Starmer's lack of principle, his inauthenticity - was known from day one, but he, like the rest of the commentariat, insisted this empty suit was uniquely qualified. They will never admit fault. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Asylum seekers aren't crying and terrified all the time and that makes the Daily Express mad

I don’t know what to say anymore other than to remind those in power that refugees are human beings with equal rights who, along with their children, deserve a safe, stable & integrated life in their communities and that what they’re breaking now with this performative cruelty can’t be fixed later.

When I arrive at the party

Last night, I was bitten by a radioactive lawyer and woke up with power of attorney.

The BBC Scotland commentary for Kenny McLean’s halfway line goal is glorious. Stuff of dreams. 🔥 Congratulations #Scotland, see you at the World Cup.

Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow

Why do people think this will make any difference whatsoever? Similarly with Trump: whatever comes out of the Epstein files will make no difference. Their fans simply aren't bothered (and in some cases actively support this stuff)

'But if the BBC goes, we'll only have right-wing news'

POV: you are a young woman celebrating a recent academic success

I mean it's not his first lie. We shouldn't really be surprised by now.

“We welcome migrants, we don’t scapegoat them". How Keir Starmer promised Labour MPs and members he would lead his party on immigration

Weird how many racists like to self-identify themselves as racists.

Yeah but see this is *before* they have loudly and publicly made the case yet again that Reform have actually been right about refugees all along. After that I'm pretty sure it'll turn around.

Mate just ordered a couple of pints of Guinness in Madrid.

“Tell Alice I just want to talk!” “She doesn’t want to see you, Carl.”