id love to ask the defenders of graham linehan — ppl like jimmy carr, richard ayoade, jonathan ross — to explain these kinds of tweets.

I enjoy the five hours between shit posting over European lunch and America waking up and Serious Replying.

[We've announced a ceasefire by mistake vs Withnail and I meme here]

Translation: the west coast "move fast and break stuff" culture has generated hundreds of millions of lines of poorly tested hack code over the last twenty years and they have accidentally built a tool that can spot the holes. Please trust them with even more money.

With the sound down this becomes the worst game of Marry, Fuck, Kill.

The biggest flaw in Star Trek is that the ships have too many corridors. Nobody needs that many corridors. You're exploring the final frontier not promenading the Mancini sisters.

the question with alt text is: should the 18 year old who was shot in the eye by ICE and is now Blind, be allowed to use this website the same way you are?

"We lost 4-0 but if you look at the statistics on passes and possession ..."

A sign telling me that the terrace is closed owing to a bee infestation is just asking for civil disobedience. In other news, I am now on a terrace surrounded by bees.

"This episode we discuss whether lighter fluid is a breakfast or brunch drink."

Dear Geographers, What is the exact opposite of Dubai and why is it the Falklands?

Aka we’re dancing animals born to fart around.

Imagine how absolutely bereft of joy your life must be to imagine that this list of completely ordinary human behaviour is "making life harder" or that it requires a wanky broflake rename. These poor bastards.

Putting aside Sam Altman just continuing to emit huge lies constantly, this is an amazing example of what I mean when I talk about how GenAI is replacing *extremely low energy* digital tasks with *WAY WAY HIGHER ENERGY* replacements that *do not even work* Why TF is anyone using ChatGPT as a timer!

Just been invited to an "Exclusive Bootcamp". What the James do they think those two words mean in that combination?

I went to Maine Road the day after the 1984 Milk Cup final and nobody put me in the papers.

Gee. Imagine firing everybody who knew anything about anything and then this kind of thing happens.

SPACE NUTELLA

Remember those previous US imperialist actions that failed at terrific human cost? He could do that.

If you're able to buy art then I can't think of a better time to buy art.

Here is a Jewish woman in Iran, not wearing a hijab, being interviewed just outside of a synagogue that was bombed by israel, "The World's Only Jewish State." She explains why she refuses to leave:

We are, all of us, just trying to fucking get by and kiss our partners and feed our families and blow off steam and listen to the birds. Anyone who tells you otherwise has blood on their teeth.

We have to help with the mass murder or we'll be defenceless. These people need scraping from decent society like turds off a boot.

I hate having to do the "look, they're normal just like us" post, but sometimes you have to do that when American propaganda tries to convince everyone Iranians are "animals".

how are we supposed to stop an elderly man with dementia who constantly shits himself and can barely string a sentence together? idk, one slippery flight of stairs? it's not like he's in a fucking battle mech

A little Mychal positivity for your general wellbeing.

thEy do hAev thEir plaEc in memEticS

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

If nobody does a Dead Zone on this cunt then the US is a pariah state for a lifetime.

The local grimy boxing gym is belting out Nick Drake. That can't be a good sign.

The thing about Kanye and Wireless is that, whether his apology is sincere or not at the moment, it's pretty fucking disrespectful to Jewish people and other victims of nazism to take the risk that he's going to get through three days headlining a festival without dressing as Goebbels or some shit.

Why in the fuck would they indulge the racist prick with a meeting? Do your fucking penance on your own time.

GenAI evangelists are like the people who bought Coldplay's first album before they had heard a single Radiohead song. I won't be expanding on this.

"But if we lift the two child benefit cap they won't spend the extra money on fruits, vegetables and pulses" Even poor kids deserve Monster Munch, you eel in a suit, suck my balls.

Creasy first posted this to Twitter: the App owned by a fanciest and entirely dedicated to targeted abuse and child abuse images.

As his numbers crater and he faces his first real electoral challenge, Orban's hoped-for salvation takes the form of JD Vance and Matthew Goodwin: A vice president polling 17 points underwater and a pollster who didn't see his own electoral defeat coming. Avenger's Assemble, but it's just Hawkeye.

"Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell"

From the intellectual giant who brought us this

"Research finds [the] Jackdaw field would provide only about 2% of current UK gas demand, and Rosebank only 1% – with the latter containing predominantly oil that would mostly be exported" www.theguardian.com/environment/...

Oh my GOD.

This is the face of a lunar scientist who has just been told that the #Artemis II crew saw SEVERAL impact flashes (the flashes when meteors hit the lunar surface) in real time 😃 🌓💥

No matter how you feel about tobacco, ...

Taking credit for something that you originally voted against is quite a look.

Alien

According to the Companies House accounts, this CEO has three employees and his turnover isn't high enough to have even paid for them all to have a copilot subscription. This isn't journalism.

Jesus fucking Christ can the US middle claas stop being so utterly fucking pathetic.

The only acceptable answer to the interview question "What's the difference between leadership and management?"

Malcolm Dempster's ordeal when he went to woke supermarket Tesco in search of Easter eggs.

DO IT IN 180K YOU COWARDS.