Explain a film plot badly: teenager fails to understand instructions on Christmas present leading to significant insurance claim.

Explain a film plot badly: Local government official mishandles coastal safety concerns. Inveterate alcoholic doesn't help much.

Adding Celebrity Traitors to the list of culturally significant telly I couldn't be arsed watching. Was it better than Breaking Bad? Don't tell me. I don't care.

There's only one possible inaugural winner

I doubt you'll find a better procrastination this morning.

You can't even call Tesla shareholders a proper cargo cult though, because half the time Elon can't make the car go.

Recently I had to review a paper that cited some of my work. Work that I didn't write, with co-authors that don't exist, probably the result of someone using "AI" (quotes are intentional) to write academic papers. We need more people showing up with slides like these, please!

Holy shit. Holy fuck.

Brilliant

You fucking people will let anyone off the hook for their violent hateful beliefs and all they have to do is say shiny words you like You’re all a bunch of Nazi tattoo forgiving, Jewish space lasers forgetting gullible marks getting played for fools As a Jew I suggest you all go fuck yourselves.

Why have they turned the predator into John Rambo? What the fuck is wrong with this timeline? Make up some new shit.

A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women 🧵

The first fast food chain to hire the sandwich guy will be worth more than Nvidia by Christmas.

Every tech company eventually either reinvents the bus or reinvents phrenology

I stand by my long held position that recruitment agents should be second against the wall after estate agents.

We now have one data point in the search for what is legal to throw at the Gestapo. Assuming it's illegal to throw, say, a Mk1 fragmentation hand grenade, they now have a choice of binary chop or incremental search.

We asked ten tulip farmers about the future prospects of tulip bulbs.

Favourite thing you've learned this week?

Finally, every single American spice in a single scintillating dish.

5 million you will not predict the arc of this anecdote.

It's wrong to find this story arousing, right?

Important jowl update.

Important.

Yes it's yet another cuddly crafty reality show and a niche bit of local craft culture but jesus wept this is inexcusably poor research. This can't be hard. Ask the locals. Write it down. Feeling cash rich? Invite one on the show.

lol

Amateurs. When the British drew pointless straight lines on maps, they did damage for centuries.

Don't change this setting unless you want to see my filthy fucking mouth.

Can't they just vibe a solution with their army of PhD level genius machines? Surely they can spare some GPUs from generating CSA images for a week.

It's just a desperate competition for the nastiest and stupidest and most valueless application of a failing technology. It's like watching dogs fighting over vomit.

Is there a word for when you make a fully disposable social media post and five seconds later panic "hang on ... do they even have poison dart frogs in Venezuela??"

Gen Delta is going to read this shit and just think "oh yeah ... that's the year when chatbots fucked up all of human knowledge ... it obviously didn't really happen"

How do you do, fellow kids. I am now an American imagining what Europe is like. Yeehaw.

Normal reaction from the normals of normalville.

Narrative and spatial relationships are two fundamental aspects of human cognition. LLMs are consistently terrible at both and have no obvious path to improving.

I hope Wallace Shawn lives long enough to happily vote for Ella if she ever stands for any office.

I like to fast forward through Grand Designs and take a guess on how long it will be before the entitled couple who spent a million quid on two London garages will get divorced.

Need an owl? This may be the owl you need.

Do ask any Labour MPs or centrist commentators congratulating Mamdani what they can possibly learn from some of his policies. Like these for instance.

this is an obvious overcorrection that misleads the polling data and will lead to disaster in the Heartland. the results of tonight show that the Democrats should moderate: adopting two or at most three of the five pillars of Islam

So much of Labour’s comms is just weird and confusing at this point. Surely it’s really, really easy to decide to offer congratulations/support to a wildly popular left-wing candidate who has just pulled off a historic electoral victory

The number one cause of shitty failed sequels is management gonks gathering around a flipchart and learning all the wrong lessons from a success. Anyway ... let's see what the political strategists learn from the Mamdani victory.

I’m sure they don’t even realise that Motability vehicles are LEASED. They’re not being given free cars, and the more high end require extra payments on top, which is often paid by the applicant because it isn’t covered by the full enhanced mobility section of PIP.

Dog whistling poached bollock says what?

The number of people between 16 and 34 who died or were injured in a work-related incident increased by 76% between 1939 and 1946

MAGA handling it all as well as you might expect.

You will know the news by now.

“Keir Starmer needs to do the Gnarly dance to win back the Red Wall!”

I must confirm that this *is* my beautiful wife