You know what we need? Bears through history. Including at least two forbidden gummi bears.

Am I too late for the "they had her killed to take attention away from Darth Brabantia" conspiracy?

Anybody want BigTiddyWiddy.com? Not going to be using that one now.

It all started to go downhill when we stopped referring to breasts as "busters".

I swear to fucking Jesus if they try to blame this on that gobshite daddy-fetishist's mummy ...

You want to know what Platner actually was? He was someone for male leftists to uphold as a symbol of moving past women's concerns in politics, representing a desire to leave behind even the pretense of caring about misogyny, and they're fucking apoplectic it blew up in their worthless faces.

Fuck it. I might have a go. I've grown my curls out and I've still got a 1980s Liverpool shirt. I'm officially the Calm Down! Party. Eh? Eh? You startin, Darth fucking Brabantia?

A niche/vanity project with no obvious need for 100k lines of code let alone a million. And no reason _at_all_ to be translated from the current valid language. This wouldn't take 3 engineers a year because nobody in their right mind would waste 3 person years on achieving literally nothing.

How completely fake is this book banning tool? I made up a fake book that I never wrote and it confidently told me what was wrong with it.

How old am I? I am "hear me out ebike caravan" years old.

Ok fine fine. It will be _slightly_ funny if the novelty dad beats _all_ the greasy fascists in a single election.

I see your Facebook Uncle is blaming a resigned MP for the actions of the incumbent Labour government again ...

It took France at least five years longer than most developed nations to do fully online banking but they still insist on the most fucking irritating and pointless monthly letters. I can see every transaction within seconds. I don't need three reminders a month to download a pdf*

Useful apps? In this economy??

An excellent use of your eyes or ears this morning:

"heteropessimistic" There isn't a "cry harder" hard enough.

Registering Burnham4Maine.com and BinfaceIsFarage.org to cover my bases

🎵 tu vas tu vas et tu viens entre mes reins 🎶

I can't see the relevance of a story about a guy who falls for a pyramid scheme and lives off government subsidies while constantly running away from his debts against a background of genocide and manifest destiny.

You can make a shandy with alcohol-free lager and hard lemonade and nobody can stop you.

[rousing east german anthem]

Since people have asked, "What's the deal with the thumbs-up grannies?" and I haven't talked about them in awhile... here's the scoop: They're two elderly Chinese ladies who patrol the neighborhood, always with the air of bundled-up broody hens (no matter what they wear, or the weather). (1)

At least they don't make the same mistake with education, healthcare, and the arts. Wait

Unfortunately, a stunned Paris is how they all got into this whole mess to begin with

So Farage will be up against a man dressed as a bin and a bin dressed as a man.

The good part of a hotdog is the fried onions and weird American 'mustard'. You can leave out the tube of lips and arseholes altogether. Sign up to my zine for more vegetarian tips.

Remote-piloted and unregulated bots can arrest you in the Land Of The Free. Cool.

I think I may have accidentally asked a human-impersonating bot about the benevolent applications of human-impersonating bots.

Quick one Bridget, what's two areas in which Britain punches above its weight globally? Arts and Higher education, is it? Ah well, fuck 'em.

Just a sublime heading and subheading. I'm absolutely not spoiling it by reading the story.

Let's hamstring the one area where the country has been consistently over performing! Then we can invest that money in weapons we can't use and in US-owned technology that siphons our resources and pays no tax. She's a fucking genius.

[redacted] The back- sack- and crackrooms.

This entire by-election is somehow making an even bigger farce of an already farcical system of pseudo-democracy, but it will give a fairly unique insight into protest voting. The provincial English look utterly fucking ridiculous either way. Rise up, you daft cunts.

Still unquestionably the worst film ever made about magic. I can't see it ever being surpassed.

Arrived at cinema early and was playing a mobile game with child 2 and completely forgot about the film and got a leap-from-seat jump scare when the adverts started. Backrooms is a pretty good film but no way it could compete with that.

Who do I bribe at FIFA to have England retroactively knocked out in the group round?

Apparently Burnham has resigned to contest the Clacton by election.

The Occam's Razor solution to this is for us all to take turns actually attacking him until the numbers match his delusions.

“Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest! What is the charge? Receiving a bung? A succulent five million quid? Get your hand off my penis!”

Joke broadcaster for a joke nation

The space genius evaluation is contingent on only a few low risk gambles: - reducing cost/kg by a factor of 15 - increasing revenue per token by a factor of 40 - increasing take up to 50% of the global population - teaching Elon the first law of thermodynamics Everything is fine.

[chirpiest France Gall number] www.lemonde.fr/politique/li...

He just wants maximum coverage when he complains that he's the real victim. He's not going to announce anything.

There are apparently no Democrats in Maine who don't have a nazi tattoo and a history of domestic abuse and sexual assault. Remarkable if true.

Irish fans v England, 1990: "we don't pay no poll tax, we don't pay no poll tax, la-lah-la-la, la-lah-la-la."

Oh globbits.