Probably the worst part of being a mouse is having to act happy about sleeping in a sardine can

Doesn’t feel coincidental that all of the ‘women’ in the advert look to have barely reached adulthood. If that.

And a good morning to everyone reading the “later life” section of Brigitte Bardot’s wikipedia page for the first time

With the death of Bardot we're down to the last three of Billy Joel Roulette. Chubby Checker Bob Dylan Bernie Goetz Will someone try and rob Goetz of the title? Will there be an entertaining twist? The answer, my friends, is anyone could win, The answer is anyone could win.

You could read the screenshotted thread, or you could just watch Starship Troopers and have a much better time.

Thing is, you absolutely can do jokes about anything and get away with it, it just requires you to think about how to do it. You either include the subjects or exclude yourself. And Gervais basically doesn't have the courage or smarts to do either. Let me explain by way of two example sitcoms.

really fucks me off that the rhetorical pattern of three is being cited as an AI tell. humans have been using that device FOR EVER, globally, across languages and cultures. its not even language or writing specific. its cognitively satisfying and efficient. why should we stop, he's the one who sucks

post deleted but it’s abolish ICE now and always has needed to happen

I suspect Adams would have clocked Gen-AI immediately as exactly what he was talking about when he imagined the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation and the products that ensured they were first against the wall when the revolution came.

I can't really gloat over this one, because this is exactly the tragedy we were trying to avoid, and WHY we were angry at the people shilling this garbage... but, like, we *did* tell them. We told them over and over. And they didn't believe us.

“Then they shouldn’t have voted for this!” Bitch, Asheville is a blue college town and the county has gone blue for decades. I am so sick of this “if I pretend disasters only happen to red areas, it means I’m safe because I’m properly on the left!” No. You’re not safe. That’s why we save everybody.

"dad, would you rather be in jail with a thousand cats or not in jail with no cats"

She makes videos teaching toddlers how to count to 3

No wonder so many on the right of the Labour party are so keen on preserving the Special Relationship.

My resolution, and I think it’s doable, is to run so fast into a chain link fence that I come out as cubes.

“A robot may not kick a human in the balls, or, through inaction, allow a human to be kicked in the balls.”

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but, Saturday.

Since we're all talking about podcasts, it's a fun thing to note that they have long outlived the piece of technology that gave them their name, and there will soon be people, if there aren't already, who will need an explanation of why they're called that which also includes what an iPod was.

Fear of this sort of thing happening is why my will mandates that I am to be taxidermied and displayed in the downstairs lavatory.

this is what the american tech freak overclass have replaced all their blood with and there's a reason it comes with a portal to hell self derangement insignia emblazoned on the label

There's very few podcasts where video adds much, really. WTYP use visual elements very effectively but that aside I can't think of one that's enhanced by it. Although my format of choice is "knowledgeable person attempts to cover a topic sincerely and in depth, beset on all sides by hooting idiots".

I see too many podcasts on YouTube where it’s two burly guys sitting in a dimly lit room, discussing why modern women are destroying the West, while drinking some kind of subscription based energy drink. Fine, you do you. But it absolutely doesn’t need to be filmed in 4k

Odd that Gender is a biological, immutable certainty AND something you can lose if you own the wrong dog.

Well, I bet all you "abolish the monarchy" types feel pretty stupid now that we need to suck up to the pettiest, pissyest wannabe tyrant with some stupid shit that makes him feel important so he won't fuck our economy out of wounded pride.

Finally saw Spinal Tap 2. It's patchy, but the thing is, almost nothing else ever has matched the original film for laugh rate, but the fact that they've been spinning the joke out for forty years means that you are very ready to laugh simply because they're still doing it.

Fair fucks though, it clearly gave him a taste for combat.

Happy Jolyon Cunts A Fox To Death In A Kimono Day to all who celebrate

you can tell when someone is too used to making shit up online because they stop being able to find easy tells in their own lies, such as "why would attendees at an in-person con ask a white man if hes black"

The pop at the end is great but really the sound design for the whole sequence is masterful. The cuts between the whistling sound of the airborne Feathers and the clicking of Gromit laying track as the whole thing hangs in the balance, it blows me away every time.

This is just up the road from me, the bairn was born in this hospital. And this is pretty much exactly how I would expect a group of people from around here to respond, if one of their number started behaving like a weird and unpleasant arsehole for reasons nobody understood.

Not being a football guy I don't have an instant mental image of the Stadium of Light so I looked it up and fuck me, it's not even close.

By rural people they mean "psychopathic toffs who will never under any circumstances vote for them"

As our big, flagship access policy this is pretty rubbish tbh: a very short walk, no new access or footpaths. Nice but... ...yeah, hardly a right to roam replacement is it? Small beer is being kind

You can pretend to have your shit together if you want. They don’t really check

My first job in this country, the woman who sat opposite me, her brother hated doing the dishes so his solution was magnificent: he bought plates etc from charity shops, used them once, then opened the window over the sink and fucked them into the paved-over back garden to hear the smash

"a new surprise every day" jesus fuck

Not that I'm especially inclined towards having any empathy for JK Rowling but if I were her I'd be giving serious thought to restraining orders roundabout now.

it's unironically this bit except the teacher got fired for giving Calvin a zero

Like, this is the infinite money glitch for ruining these assholes, I really don't see what's objectionable here...

A lovely thread.

Haven't seen my nephew in a couple of months and he's suddenly a six foot emo teenager.

God give it a rest ye merry gentlemen

The top of my in-laws tree

I can't be arsed with the culture war bullshit aspects of this but I will appreciate more opportunities to see someone light up a tab so I can say "ah, still smoking acoustic?".

🎶PASS SAMOSAS🎶

Eldest kid has made gingerbread cookies in the shape of cassette tapes, with songs inscribed. Youngest has just tried to read them and came up with "Uncle Paneer". "Under Pressure"

This thread has been saved from the wastes of Twitter! Go on; have a read, it’s a lovely Christmas Eve tale.

If you’re wondering why your friends in academia are a little on edge right now, it’s because an eighteen-year-old who hasn’t done the reading, doesn’t look at the assignment, and has does no critical thinking skills more complex than “because I think it’s in the Bible” can literally end your career

We've ran out of Buck's Fizz so have just put a berocca into some white lightning