LOL

My theory about Isaac Chotiner is...well, you know how Apprentice candidates clearly watch The Apprentice, and must somehow understand that people are chosen for it because they're absurd, preposterous dickheads, but apply anyway and clearly believe they alone were chosen for their business acumen?

Rather neatly tying Lucy Powell and Rachel Reeves into all these shenanigans as well, stating their innocence on the specific charge but situating them in the wider swamp.

Experimental post: The Inevitable March of Time From the moment of this post, Super Mario Bros. is now closer to World War II than it is to the present day.

To be fair to the UN Chief, he is currently sat listening to Donald Trump. That's gotta put you in a gloomy frame of mind.

Thanks, autocorrect, for ensuring that my shopping list includes a "cheese & onion crisis".

Happy Rapture Day to all who celebrate 💋

‘excuse me while i slip into something a little more inevitable,’ i murmur seductively as i don my diaphanous burial shroud

The only uncomplicatedly good notifications your phone gives you are Patreon ones, because it means you're about to get something from a creator you like, for whom you are doing a good thing by supporting them.

The landlord's dipdhit handyman, who is somewhat...um...erratic in the quality of his work just came round to replace the bathroom light fitting. He's been, gone, done it and I only just realised that he never asked me to turn the power off.

i fucking hate these illiterate snowflake assholes jesus christ

I was about to post "is the Rapture happening or not, because I need to go to the shop" as if I was even remotely in with a chance of being among the elect.

A pop up box on Tylenol dot com

Funny, isn't it? Only last year this was evidence that Starmer and McSweeney were politically adept at 'the dark arts' but now it's evidence of open corruption despite none of the facts having changed.

kapow. take that.

oh boy this is gonna get a lot of use in the group chats

You can tell this guy just ignored his wives during their pregnancies because I have seen two women pregnant at close quarters and both would have killed me in my sleep if I suggested they "tough it out".

I have zero fucking sense of humor about this rfk shit. besides the obviously gross misreprestation/othering/etc of autistic people it's catastrophic from any sound scientific POV. any doctor who consults governmental guidelines for anything at all under this admin is guilty of malpractice

It will be drug free births next...

Now I'm getting conflicting reports about whether the Rapture will be on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, and, look, I know that TECHNICALLY no man knows the hour of His coming and all, but if we could actually pin this down on the schedule it'll help me plan the rest of my week, thanks

Blöthar the Berserker, armed with a mighty battle axe, impenetrable shield, the udders which are the main natural defense mechanism of his species, has gone too far

I hope this cursed videotape finds you well

Autism Announcement: You and I don't need 'curing' least of all by the maladjusted creeps who insist on framing us as some kind of fucking inconviniece

the bone farmer, revisited | patreon.com/lubchansky

The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born: now is the time of whatever.

Do we get a day off work for the Rapture?

Someone's saying it, at least. Increasingly looking like the only game in town if you don't want some flavour of Reform.

The Beths, beabadoobee, Mia June, Alvvays. Just four things I've listened to in the last few days that have made me go "hey, this sounds kinda like The Sundays" at points. I've not been trying to listen to things that sound like The Sundays.

They won’t

Birds do it Bees do it Leopard sharks in groups of threes do it…

He wouldn't, because he wouldn't be able to write a joke that wasn't about trans people.

Just offhand, I can think of about a dozen people I know and interact with regularly who could be affected by this.

This is best understood by recognising that this isn’t because *the public* have been wildly radicalising themselves to the far right for well over a decade. It’s politicians and media figures who have been roasting their own brains and egging each other on, with results that are all around us.

my favorite subgenre of Halloween decoration is “skeleton of things that absolutely do not have skeletons”

If you say that this is insane, you feel like you're minimising the sinister aspect of it. Which, it is incredibly sinister, it's also whooping batshit insane. And I can't tell if that effect is deliberate or if they are in fact just that far gone.

ok mr smart guy then why don't you tell me what the "appropriate" level of pyrotechnics for a funeral is

Remember when Richard Nixon accidentally broadcast his smoking gun tape to the nation and Nixon said 'I didn't do that, there are no tapes it's all a hoax' and the media and the politicians and all his supporters said oh ok fair enough and everything went back to normal?

I'm not really a believer in cosmic justice but there's a measure of it in that sorry dickhead not even being the centre of attention at his own funeral.

Tag yourself I'm curious and salacious

You have got to be fucking kidding.

Virgin Megastore

I mean, they say "service" but we all know it's actually "Loser Convention".

I live for this shit

It might cross over some of these themes, but I’d also add person / people who feel trapped in a situation (Only When I Laugh, Open All Hours, Butterflies).

I have a half-baked theory that you can divide sitcoms into three broad formulas: The Single Monster (Fawlty Towers, Keeping Up Appearances, The Office); The Unhealthy Dependency (Steptoe and Son, Peep Show, The Likely Lads) and The Ensemble (Friends, Cheers, The Green Wing).

I think the reactions of fandom to Warren Ellis and Neil Gaiman (both as passionate as I've seen) also show how easy it actually is to stop supporting.

Paul Verhoeven has been tapped to direct reality itself now, I see

noʎ ɹoɟ sı ɓop pɹɐʍuʍop ɟı ɹoʇɔop ɹnoʎ ʞsɐ