If anyone wants to chip in for a dollar store order, 💜 cash.app/$schwg venmo.com/u/Schwegler paypal.me/schwegler

The Zohran 'waah waah waah' gif reminded me of Mad'Donna The Wheels On The Bus and the frankly uncanny Madonna impression

Kemi posting that 'Social media is not a safe for children' is the funniest typo I've seen in ages. Images of shoving kids into a big old steel safe, prodding their limbs in, slamming it shut.

It's back again.

Muting anyone who appears in my timeline posting a 'look at this terrible shit' X screenshot. You might not be able to help yourselves but that doesn't mean I need to see it. Into the No-No Corner you go.

Can't believe I haven't seen this before. Huge potential here

I keep getting this too! It feels almost sweet and nostalgic? Like, an 'Am I Gay?' quiz is extremely early days of the internet, about 2000 or so. Babe it's 2026, everyone is gay and knows it.

Oh god this has got Harry Potter stink all over it.

Dreamt I was in Pluribus but I was immune but them trying to please me was all 'we've made these vegan macarons for you' and a youtube guy I fancy asking if I wanted to see his dick so I was fairly okay with it all.

Watched Death Of A Unicorn. What a strange film. It had half the sort of naive breeziness you get in a kids' film and half just gory violence and swears. I quite enjoyed it but it's a very weird project.

Cast Rhea Seehorn and June Diane Raphael as estranged sisters recently reunited after the death of their mother who inherit her detective agency and now solve mysteries, you cowards.

This is such an underrated gag

The black mould, having finally overtaken JK Rowling's nervous system and motor control in their entirety, posting that Iran is full of Gryffindors:

Had dinner with a gay from my game group. He asked how my love life was and I said 'non-existent' which is true, and that I've given up, which is true, and that people just don't see me as a romantic option, which I'm pretty sure is true. And I'm mostly fine with it but it felt weird to say it loud.

I have had some people ask if All's Fair is a game that plays with sexual tension

We simply are not equipped to deal with the scourge of generative AI. Even something like this, which is saying 'ooh dear, this is a bit off' says 'She was also very into the idea' and 'they were deadly serious'. NO 'SHE' WASN'T. The language model spat out some words that suggested positivity.

It's always a little bit sad when a Drag Race lipsync is an absolute massacre.

lol she looks like she's in The Righteous Gemstones please be serious for a single moment

lolll this dude on Only Connect 'owns 150 pairs of white socks'. 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬

we follow an interior design youtuber whose output I can best describe as "memories of your beautiful fridged wife you went to silent hill to go find"

lol just had to explain to my straight friend that if anything bad happens to you as a gay person that counts as homophobia. He was very thrown by someone asking 'Are the trains being homophobic for anyone else or is it just me?'

'Oh this is perfect because you're here with me and Matty's a fucking idiot' Stephen didn't say but was clearly thinking #TheTraitors

#TheTraitors Fiona's entire argument is literally:

'Fiona did what she did because she thinks Rachel doesn't have my back' Babe she did it because she's an unhinged ball of ego and spiteful glee with some Elnett and a paddle brush. #TheTraitors

I played Draw Steel on Monday and I'm playing Draw Steel tomorrow and I'm playing Draw Steel again on the coming Monday but it's not enough I don't want to work or think about the state of the world I just want to play TTRPGs all the time.

Been saying "bontles" to myself all over again

1. No. 2. No. 3. I am in love with Pizzazz Enjoyer and wish to make him my husband.

Listened to Hejira by Joni Mitchell end to end for the first time in years. God it's gorgeous. Something about the denseness, the warmth, of the production makes it feel so intimate it's almost hard to listen to.

'Japanese Breakfast (feat. Jeff Bridges)' is such an odd combination of words but here we are.

hiding the child porn behind a paywall just means you've officially turned the child porn into a business, babe.

Okay so I need you all to understand that listening to all four episodes of this I was like 'Well the gameplay and character stuff is improvised but the songs were obviously pre-written and just performed live, they're so good'. THE SONGS ARE IMPROVISED. Just fully mind-blowing to me.

That was satisfying Clues by Sam - Jan 9th 2026 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩 Less than 13 minutes #cluesbysam

'Rachel, I'm telling you as the only person I trust, I am actually a genius detective who is amazing at detecting things and knowing who bad guys are' Ahahaha haha. #TheTraitors

Lmao poor Stephen looked absolutely rabbit in the headlights terrified at the execution #TheTraitors

The thing that really fucks me off about govt bodies, companies etc acting like 'We need twitter to communicate with our users' is ... if your users have twitter, then by definition they have internet access. Put that shit on your website. They'll go there if they need to.

I'm far from a Zack Polanski superfan but I do enjoy how he posts screenshots of unhinged rightwing screeds about how he's a threat to Western civilisation saying 'lol cope and seethe bitch' and a link to joining the Greens.

It's so interesting to compare Kim Petras's 'I'm So Good At Sex Honest You Guys I've Definitely Had Sex' album with Robyn's 'I Don't Give A Shit Just Fuck Me' vibes.

I will always tell the story of the little girl in Waitrose with her dad. She was maybe four? She had a balloon. It was dragging on the ground. He trod on it and it burst. I thought 'Oh no, poor thing, she's gonna cry.' She looked at her dad and said 'Why is it always you?'

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller Wednesday, January 7,1948

Stephen is obviously doomed so I'm really looking forward to Rachel and Fiona fighting to the death to be last Traitor standing while the Kirk v Spock fight music plays #TheTraitors

Jessie and Jack collaborating on a skull tower 😍 #TheTraitors

looool Rachel really thought she did something there #TheTraitors

Leave Jade alone! #TheTraitors

So much for red herrings #TheTraitors

I had the horrible realisation that I have to believe I'm unattractive - which I do, and have made my peace with - because if I'm not, then there have to be other reasons I never date or have sex and I am not at all prepared to unpack that.

Okay but why is the chick in the foreground with the yellow top, why is her head on backwards?

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