Bring back traditional values

i mean just leave aside the epstein shit, they're trying to stop this lady from taking a congressional seat she won for as long as they can! they don't believe you have the right to any representation of your choosing or any meaningful way to petition your own government for redress

I've been working on a little atproto/bluesky tool just to get the hang of building that kind of thing.

at what point does a government lose all legitimacy

my scientists say to me, mr president, we got the best medbeds in the world. i saw on tv they recreated a woman from just her hand. beautiful woman by the way, it’s amazing what science can do. then the channel switched to a loud talk show host on a cruise. i didn’t care for him

Like, I dunno man I have arguments with MAGA dipshits who talk about immigrants as disease-riddled vermin infecting the blood of our nation and then they turn around and go, "I don't hate anyone" motherfucker I don't think it's possible to be more hateful than you.

People think divide between left and right is a matter of persuasion and it is not, it's a matter of values. To the right, for instance, bodily autonomy simply does not mean as much to them as it does to us. Enforcing hierarchies is far, far more important to them.

orange man bad orange cat good

Yorgos Lanthimos is Wes Anderson for perverts

Low key I don’t think the U.S. military can take the Pacific Northwest

Portland doesn't look like it's under siege to me, but in fairness, I'm not a massive pussy.

they've been struggling to muster the forces for DC and CA and the border and ICE and i really don't think they got the horses for this to mean much

I get that it's pretextual, I get that, but you can't get genuinely scared about Trump's bluster or you're just going to drive yourself crazy. Fuck you, make me.

I don't like how many nazis are around

These guys look like Warhammer characters if they were designed by Rob Liefeld lol

The furor over the gender goblin was a peak mumsnet-brained incident. "But how will my children know what genitals this cartoon has???"

So ultimately Trump just took money from all of us and wants to give it to farmers because they voted for him. Your prices went up and the money goes directly into the pockets of MAGA voters.

This is literally what the actual "siege" of the auxiliary ICE building looks like

Centrist poling be like On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being 'a little' and 5 being 'as much as possible', how many atrocities do you support?

Abolishing ICE is not enough.

I strongly suspect all this shit is entirely vibecoded in 10 minutes and literally none of these guys know how to code anything.

For all fascist and fasc-adjacent people, the only way they can avoid a miserable, sad, empty life is to do the long hard work of becoming a better person. This is the one thing they desperately don’t want to do. Lazy!

Nobody who joins ICE has ever had friends, enjoyed sex, or made another person happy in any way. They’re miserable bastards and they only want to spread their misery, to offload it. They will fail at this, too. Their misery will just get worse. I have scientific proof of this.

Huh it turns out that undergrads protesting speakers WASN'T the same as authoritarian government coercion. Who knew? Too bad we spent all this time worried about them. Oopsie. Well, pobody's nerfect time to write my next column.

Someone was talking about King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard and like I'd heard a few random songs but I wasn't actively familiar with their whole deal but yeah I'm extremely a dork for this shit.

Quasi stars are the universe's turducken

Don't put in the newspaper that I was eaten by coconut crabs.

The puppeteer's union has rejected my slogan "We Need More Hand Jobs!"

playing my cornholio deck against my opponent's dostoevsky deck

Man, these guys are extremely shitty bosses.

We need to put bomb collars on every tech CEO. "You're saying we need to invest $2 trillion in AI" "Yes but I think the risk is higher if we don't." *Collar starts beeping*

These guys sure love rape and racism huh.

Sometimes I remember how Trump got a massive bag of cash from Egypt and it didn't even make the news.

If I get sent to the gulag for making fun of ICE, remember me as a jester.

Dude was THIS close to giving us the funniest video ever by shooting his dick off.

Trump signs EO declaring wedgies to be political violence.

At TPUSA HQ: Gentlemen, find me the pinkest, fanciest little lad you can.

This was, like, the second album I bought for myself with my own money.

a guy I know has started calling the "it should be illegal to dislike me" mindset "GALT" (the Great American Loser Theory)

these Starbucks contras are such fucking demons. every Starbucks employee should be issued a sidearm. (face reveal in part two is really funny)

I keep winning. aftermath.site/baby-assassi...

*sigh*

Dave Matthews has the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

Donald Trump signs order declaring that you need to burp him and change his diapy.

I love space shit because I think space is cool but space colonization as like, a thing that we should do on a civilization level is stupid and pointless.

Simpsons X final fantasy IV Credit to steamed Sam on YouTube

They arrived. oh no. OH NO.

I was talking to someone about how these shooters have 'incoherent politics' and I felt I had to clarify that that's not to say that American politics are particularly principled or coherent themselves, just that the shooters rarely fall within the normal framework for politics in this country.