It's just over 30 years since Jaws was released, and now we've released this Tee in honour of Captain Quint, Amity Island's finest shark hunter! Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/ZtZGeuc

NEWS! "We had no way of knowing man forced to resign twice for corruption would be corrupt" insists Starmer

NEWS! Labour relieved Mandelson’s resignation 'to avoid causing further embarrassment' prevented further embarrassment

NEWS! "Actors should stay out of politics, except for intellectual titan Holly Valance," insist Reform voters newsthump.com/2026/02/05/a...

This month will see the 30th anniversary of the movie Trainspotting. We've made a few parody T-shirts over the years, but this one is by FAR the most popular. I wonder why? Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/bkdyRd3

NEWS! Peter Mandelson announced as first contestant in new series of Celebrity Traitors

NEWS! "I'm the real victim in all this," insists man forced to live in slightly less opulent surroundings newsthump.com/2026/02/04/i...

NEWS! Man decides arrival at front of busy coffee shop queue the perfect time to start reading menu newsthump.com/2026/02/04/m...

A helpful pie chart for those of us watching the usual suspects losing their collective s**t over casting rumours for Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey...

Nothing says land of the free quite like an armed ICE agent standing over the recently assaulted Lady Liberty herself. You can now get this NewsThump illustration on a T-shirt, with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/l3yS2GO

Evolution of man to his peak form. If you know, you know. Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/pOweLNR

NEWS! North American Black History Month kicks off with the now traditional 'wailing of the c*nts' newsthump.com/2026/02/03/n...

NEWS! Giant snowflake to issue lawsuit over joke he didn't like newsthump.com/2026/02/03/g...

People are being VERY hard on Elon. Who amongst us hasn't taken time away from your children on Christmas Day to email a convicted sex offender to tell him you'd like to party on his secret island of underage girls? Perfectly normal behaviour!

NEWS! Peter Mandelson preparing to not kill himself newsthump.com/2026/02/03/p...

The latest design from the always excellent HappyToast. For fans of Mike Leigh's Nuts in May, "Kiss Prudence". Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/oSrp956

NEWS! Farage bodyguard wearily bats away yet another time-travelling assassin from the future newsthump.com/2026/02/02/f...

NEWS! Lord Mandelson resigns from Labour to pursue dream of becoming Calvin Klein underwear model newsthump.com/2026/02/02/l...

'Melania' defies critics by winning FIFA Oscar for Best Movie

NEWS! People who did 'Dry January' not feeling so smug today, finds study

NEWS! "I think I was at Nando's this time," insists Andrew

NEWS! Elon Musk avoids Epstein questions by hiding in empty ‘Melania’ screening

Comfy clothes & murder shows. His and her T-shirts for a quiet night in... Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/TWHp0HP

The latest Epstein files release shows how the world's richest loser tried really hard, and STILL failed, to party on Epstein Island. We've heard many Epstein-related excuses after the last few years, but "I wanted to party with him, but we couldn't make our diaries work" is perhaps the most tragic

Please be patient, I was raised in the last century. Get your T-shirt with FREE UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/JEaY7Ba

I’m guess they finally finished redacting the name of the Tangerine Grope Machine!

NEWS! We went to the cinema to see the Melania documentary so you don't have to - this is what we discovered

So many conversations of this type are going on these days...

Valentine's Day is two weeks away, and if you're looking for a gift that shows your other half exactly how you feel about them, we've got you covered. Available for husbands, boyfriends, wives and girlfriends! Get yours HERE >>> buff.ly/lMSwbOo

NEWS! “…and you lot can f**k off as well,” Badenoch tells Tory voters newsthump.com/2026/01/30/a...

NEWS! “Britain is the greatest country in the world that’s a big pile of shit and we hate it,” say Reform newsthump.com/2026/01/30/b...

Sometimes all it takes is a single T-shirt to shut down several stupid arguments at once. Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/6RVCugd

NEWS! Tesla revenue shrinks in rapidly growing EV market as customers show reluctance to give money to bellends

Refusing to trust computers since 1977. If you know, you know. Get this T-shirt with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/RopXUpK

NEWS! "I have to hate Springsteen now, too?" ask tearful Magaloons, realising all that's left for them is Kid Rock newsthump.com/2026/01/29/i...

NEWS! Xi Jinping prepares for meeting with Keir Starmer by reading all his emails

NEWS! Trump insists time running out for Iran to make deal on the nuclear capability he 'totally obliterated' a few months ago newsthump.com/2026/01/29/t...

As new footage emerges of Alex Pretti 11 days before he was shot, the Magaloon response can be summed up thusly...

Live your life in such a way that Bruce Springsteen doesn't release a song about how much of an a**hole you are...

A few of you asked about the mug when we shared the T-shirt earlier, and yes, it's available! Get yours HERE >>> buff.ly/XeFmSLz

NEWS! Man celebrates after successfully selling left kidney to pay for his daughter’s Harry Styles ticket newsthump.com/2026/01/28/m...

Grammar Police. To Serve and Correct. Get yours with FREE UK delivery and in a range of colours here >>> buff.ly/iXoq8nQ

NEWS! UK on verge of return to hedge-based porn access newsthump.com/2026/01/28/u...

NEWS! Trump finally comes out in support of gun control after learning people he doesn't like also have guns

NEWS! Reform hopeful defection of tractor porn guy can be announced soon

NEWS! The six funniest laugh-out-loud films of all time, according to me, Suella Braverman newsthump.com/2026/01/28/t...

Evolution doesn't always progress the way you think it should... Get your Reform Evolution T-shirt with free UK delivery here >>> buff.ly/SoRNs1f

NEWS! World condemns Iranian regime after homeworkers face twentieth day without Internet newsthump.com/2026/01/27/w...

NEWS! Nigella to avoid Bake Off tent innuendo culture from the moment she opens the flaps newsthump.com/2026/01/27/n...

NEWS! ‘Stop calling us Conservative Party’ says Nigel Farage wearing blue dress and Margaret Thatcher wig newsthump.com/2026/01/27/s...