Imagine if a woman president crashed the economy and started a war with no end in sight, and her biggest, seemingly ONLY concern was building a ballroom and redecorating the White House.

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NEWS! Donald Trump confirms Iran war entering exciting fourth month of four-week campaign newsthump.com/2026/06/01/d...

NEWS! Nicola Sturgeon repeatedly fails reCaptcha test after failing to identify images with campervans newsthump.com/2026/06/01/n...

NEWS! Arsenal successfully repurpose bus they parked in front of PSG for use in Premier League title parade

NEWS! Donald Trump withdraws from Donald Trump's Freedom 250 event

For anyone still believing a single word the White House says about resolving the Iran conflict, I would politely remind them that it has been 572 days since Trump promised to end the Russia/Ukraine war in one day.

Nothing screams 'free speech enthusiast' quite like threatening to shut down an entire organisation because a couple of comedians made a joke about you. 🤷

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BREAKING! Arsenal have repurposed the bus they unsuccessfully parked in front of PSG last night in order to attend today's celebratory parade in London.

NEWS! Potatoes win "Best Vegetable" for 323rd year in a row

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NEWS! Woke alert! Now right-on National Trust wants to preserve ‘natural’ spaces for people to enjoy newsthump.com/2026/05/30/w...

NEWS! Next week’s ‘Question Time’ to consist of five AI-generated Zia Yusufs

There is lots of talk online about where Donald Trump is going to put his likeness next... if it's Rushmore, we have a suggestion.

NEWS! Nike confirms new UK sweatshop to increase youth employment newsthump.com/2026/05/29/n...

Well, I, for one, am shocked. Shocked, I tell you. Who could possibly have known that the Raise the Colours crowd was led by violent thugs with low impulse control?

As Jeff Bezos's rocket explodes and fails to deliver his order of Amazon satellites to their intended destination in a timely manner, he finally knows how every other Amazon customer feels.

NEWS! 'Deal on peace only thing missing from peace deal', insists JD Vance newsthump.com/2026/05/29/d...

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Did...did he think he was applying to join Mensa?

NEWS! Relief among US electorate as President celebrates fact he can still tell difference between camel and duck newsthump.com/2026/05/28/r...

NEWS! Tony Blair still a thing, apparently

NEWS! Wise Internet sage transitions seamlessly from expertise in epidemiology and Iranian geopolitics to climatology

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NEWS! Our latest candidate only being guilty of online misogyny, and not beating women, is proof we're ready for government, insist Reform

NEWS! Man finally reaches his ideal weight after travelling six stops on Central Line newsthump.com/2026/05/27/m...

NEWS! Hottest-ever May day arriving as Trump given clean bill of health 'confirmation' that we're all in Hell

NEWS! Sweat gushes from train doors like elevator scene in The Shining newsthump.com/2026/05/27/s...

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NEWS! Heatwave causes woman to leave her ‘Emergency Cardigan’ at home for first time in 25 years

NEWS! "Protect our women" exceptions now extend to Rachel Reeves, Carol Vorderman, Women's Rugby players newsthump.com/2026/05/26/p...

NEWS! Enhanced Games cheese rolling overshadows traditional British event newsthump.com/2026/05/26/e...

NEWS! £400,000 was an unconditional gift, claims SNP’s Peter Murrell newsthump.com/2026/05/26/4...

NEWS! Heatwave record broken as ice cream man finally sells more ice cream than marijuana newsthump.com/2026/05/26/h...

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NEWS! Local radio DJs already running short of hot weather songs

NEWS! Owners warned not to leave Goths in a locked car during the hot weather

NEWS! Arsenal players swap champagne for Manchester City tears newsthump.com/2026/05/25/a...

NEWS! Donald Trump misses son's wedding due to urgent back-nine in need of his full attention

NEWS! Trump Mobile customer data leak provides world's most valuable list of gullible simpletons

Really enjoying this new novel. It's absolutely gripping. Especially as it makes it look like the central character is going to get away with it all. Well, right up to the end, anyway...

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Probably the best real-life "I voted for the Leopard's eating faces party" posts we've seen all year. 10/10/. No notes. *chef's kiss*

Finally, a simple test for Trump Delusion Syndrome. It's just one question, very easy (for most). If you need a diagnosis, simply check your answer...

Anything to avoid the accusation of hypocrisy...

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NEWS! A fall in net migration isn't good news unless Nigel is responsible for it, confirm morons