oh my sweet Christ stop talking about migration are you fucking stupid

Mine too

I think mine's broken?

After 9 episodes of Taskmaster I have decided: yes, I do fancy Phil Ellis.

I guess you could say that it's a bit... Tonali awkward.

Well, I could have told you that

As Stephen says, this is an incredible line. The previous government cut National Insurance by 4p and had future spending plans that the independent forecaster basically called fictional! They seem to have expected reality to be more respectful of their manifesto.

I genuinely think this post is the best discourse on pop music of the past 5 years

And rounding out the cast, That Neimoidian From The Acolyte will return as himself in AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY

Entirely mad and depressing to think he would lose any power he had without that layer of orange

Brings whole new meaning to the phrase "wattle and daub"

"I'm afraid it's super-gonorrhea, Mr. Brockway."

Simply one of the greatest scenes in Star Wars history and, sadly, gained more power because of her death youtu.be/GrfRNhKYik0?...

That's because when Sunak called the election 18 months ago, the prisoner knew Labour would get in, so engineered their escape knowing that they would never bother looking for them.

What year is this

Watching the new, no doubt insufferable, Hynter/Alan Bennett collab the only way I know how: with a nice coopa PG tips and a diigestive

What a deeply cynical article for something that's brought everyone such joy the last few weeks

Starmer Government timeline: youtube.com/shorts/1v0Eb...

Now you all know I'm a Pepsi Max fan but you can currently get 1.5litres of Diet Coke for £1.25 in Tesco Express. Insanity.

Christ what on EARTH did Robert Aramayo do to piss off the wikipedia editors? He was very winning and quite cute in I Swear, which I just watched, and enjoyed, yet here they make him look like dril.

Succinct (and accurate)

The hatred the youth parliament gets is just so out of proportion. Can these people hear themselves. It’s creepy.

This debate always makes me worry there’s something a bit wrong with me in that I don’t think the past is something you should draw pride or shame from. I have benefited from the British empire more than most Brits, but ultimately I am *not* my maternal great-great-great-grandfather!

With Maurice Glasman calling for the return of sexual relations with his wife after so-called woke intervention, we find most wives of Glasman opposed All Wives: 0% support / 100% oppose Wife: 0% / 100%

Have fucking five minutes with yourselves will you

Related: what a Friday!

Er Katy Perry has released a song that doesn't suck??

The Sexual Health Clinic is playing Annie Lennox's 'No More "I Love You's"' - bit on the nose.

One of those rare reality shows where I've come away liking basically everyone more -a Triumph!

"We're investing big"

You can tell BlueSky is the wet app for wets because some people are upset the Traitors won when the Traitors were obviously the deserved winners.

Id say we need Alan Carr as one of the Strictly hosts but a lot of the appeal is the off the cuff natural swearing.

Hey I know that guy

🫡

Alan carr winning the game and then winning psychologically by forcing the others to forgive him immediately....total superiority

gays keep winning. big brain straights in the dirt. Keir starmer were coming for you next #traitors

Being gay is class, actually.

Claudia wanted to open-mouth kiss Alan then. And she'd be right to do it.

Can someone clip up that "oh fuck" from Nick like it's still 2014 Twitter.

Awwwwwwwwwwww

The Alan Carr outsmarting all those Oxbridge fucks just by being gay and funny. This is my destiny.

Its Alan Carr's world and we're all just living in it.

YESSSS YESSS YESSSS

Nicks going red