“the only way to get to the truth is by speaking to one another” no it’s research, you’re thinking of research, that’s why you don’t get given a medical degree for debating whether bones exist

why aren't they throwing bread at me. what do the ducks have that i do not

making a dentist appointment just to feel something (a man’s hands shoved in my mouth)

“AI is clearly sticking around so you have to get used to it” wrong. I don’t have to get used to shit. I am a practiced hater and I can keep this going for decades if I am required to

Jesus Fucking Christ

oh wow you mean rounding up day laborers outside home depot or extorting universities into donating to his library hasnt improved your material conditions? what about how trans kids cant play jv volleyball anymore, did that help you at all? who could have known

Real “I do not authorize Facebook to use my photos” energy

slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what

It's not this platform. It's all of society that hates AI

Piss experts far more likely than the public to believe piss “tastes great”

James Bond supervillains threaten to blow up the world with their big laser unless you pay them a trillion dollars. Real American supervillains embed themselves in the economy and threaten to cause a depression unless you subsidize their sex robots and the weird chatbots they use to avoid humans.

Bubba Sparxxx it’s time for you to be famous once again

Oreoboros

This.

honestly one of the most striking things about epstein's emails is the fact that the man, described in many places as "a genius," is essentially subliterate

Seeing Sam Altman get served a subpoena on stage is SO SATISFYING. Could only be better if he were served while already in prison.

This photo encapsulates Trump better than the combined word count of every article ever written about him.

This is so petty and I eat this shit uuuuuuup. Bro quoted his DAD 💀💀💀

“Mom” is literally one of the first words spoken by babies. “Donnie” is a cutesy, easy alternative to “Donald.”

Under Trump, the draconian future of homelessness policy is coming into focus: mass internment. Utah is building a 16-acre site to detain up to 1,300 homeless people inside locked "accountability centers." This is profoundly alarming. Vital reporting from @ellenbarry.bsky.social and Jason DeParle:

"ELEVATED HORROR" DIRECTOR SEEING ANY WOMAN OVER THE AGE OF 45: ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIEEEE!!!! AAAuuUGHHHH!H! OUGHGHGHGGHHGHGHGGHHG

Chatbots — LLMs — do not know facts and are not designed to be able to accurately answer factual questions. They are designed to find and mimic patterns of words, probabilistically. When they’re “right” it’s because correct things are often written down, so those patterns are frequent. That’s all.

Bluesky is not the place for niche takes since hot ones only get like 3 likes but here we go: I would give everything to see a John Waters film interpretation of Bat Boy the Musical.

"Why won't my kids talk to me??? Why can't I see my grandkids? It must be media's fault"

“i can’t believe we live in a police state. anyways i got a ring camera to protect my 20 amazon packages i get every week”

It’s funny how the old media depiction of Nazis was always that they’re evil but dignified gentleman and now they’re openly just like “Hello. I’m the Anime Pedophile”

finally AI comes for my job, a guy who writes erotica containing heavy use of the phrase “as a result”

if you dont stop calling us nazis we will have the secret police disappear you to a slave labor camp

Thankfully we never had to rally around defending James Cordon

Careful, Chuck Schumer might find out that you're actually doing something.

I’m no wifi expert, but it seems strange to conclude that the wifi is the problem here?

One of the things I like best about food is how expensive it is and how its increasingly likely to kill you because there are like three USDA inspectors left.

Ok everyone can calm down. He was just trying to draw a sleeping cow but got distracted and had to send it unfinished.

The last thing I recall from Schumer was him calling Trump "Taco Trump" like it was the most clever thing in the world, and I believe the reason was because we weren't blowing up Iran

Finally, a retirement plan I can afford

SHE SAID YES! I asked her if I was bothering her.

I knew someday I'd get too old to recognize new celebrities but I did not expect to get too old to recognize what celebrities are famous for. every day I go "is that a new singer" and then a person born in 2007 goes "ew no they're a peeble streamer on doop" as I inch closer to the grave

The expressions, the side-glance, the timing. The more I watch this, the more I’m convinced Jerome Powell may have delivered the best straight man scene in comedy history.

ME: omg a spider wrote “some pig” in its web FARMER: yeah that pig is amazing ME: what no i don’t think you realize how incredible it is that a spider can read and write FARMER: how bout that pig tho wow

i can see this one is going to get a lot of use

I can’t even make a joke this good.

I've created a calculator that gives you the right answer 80% of the time and I believe it will change the world

They are literally exactly who I thought. I think this article misses something important: the local elites used to have a lot of power over the other people in their communities and that has diminished. It's a lot easier for people who don't want to be in those places to leave.

a coffee mug that says "don't talk to me until i've had my cheese"

orpheus would never have turned around to look at eurydice if he’d had a smartphone

I've built a machine that can be Confidently Wrong. It can also make pictures that all look a bit the same, as well as make a video of you kissing any celebrity or person you know. In payment, I'd like to boil the world's oceans dry, & steal all literature. For some reason, my head is not on a spike

learn necromancy and find out where they buried John Wilkes Booth