full offense but i think i look soooooo cute in my lil space buns and my glitter

do you think anyone would care if i took selfies on the train rn? what about the guy sitting next to me. he's my boyfriend

someone in my vicinity is smoking a marb red and i could move a mountain

femme when it's convenient

if your mother is toxic, out of the picture, etc, not to worry. i'm your mommy now

so. listen. i'm not trying to whine here. BUT i got a sandwich recently. from, new jersey michaels, if you will. i removed bacon whilst ordering, and then, sandwich? totally tastes like bacon was there. not is there. but bacon carved it's initials into that sandwich like a tree

pretty girl

you smokin with me? or against me

not mister gravy telling me to do clown makeup cause my hair is already making me give "joker"

a mistake in two images

logging on

"you do a lot of complaining about-" let me stop you right there. yes

said some shit about aliens on the other site and the most fun guy you've ever met was like um actually they're not real

dolc of gabon of

guys bein dudes - on the city bus

a sunset so spectacular

i have the most social media related branding tattoos of anyone on this city bus, i guarantee it

post

repost

Repost this if you’ve gone to the doctor or you’ve seen a dog. I’m a teacher trying to show my students that it’s possible to repost stuff under certain circumstances like if a post asks you to and you’ve gone to something or seen something

being seen? more like seeing bean.

jacking off with my dream totem (hitachi)

is inception still relevant enough for me to make a totem joke

self fulfilling prophecy but it's more like a self serve gas pump

in theory, would someone going into the vip area need a vip ticket for their dog? what about their puppygirl

cannabussy

have you Worshipped today?

Good morning from your God. Your Goddess. Your Demoness. I control you and all I ask for in return is your mind, body, and soul 🥰

drinking a dunkin' donuts iced coffee and listening to dropkick murphys like little baby jesus intended

is that the... the serenity elixir? purple in shade and sparkle in the light, dark cherry of flavor, saves you from darkest night? with a mcdonald's straw? you're mixing it with a mcdonald's straw

are you flirting with me

like one more of my month old skeets motherfucker. see what happens

podcast but my first guest is chonk, my fluffy tuxedo cat

we should all just move to onlyfans. post lewds, send each other money, while being poorly moderated, etc

i'm sleempy goodbye

pounding it religiously, into the door

there's something distinctly evil about trying to control another person in any way

little piggies on my feet little piggies, lined up neat i'm talkin toes wearing no-shows

don't talk to me until i've had my pink lemonade

why's your head so big baby? can't even lift a sword over that big head

stop pissing everywhere baby. stop it. pissbaby

legend of zelda breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom are dark souls for babies

podscats

cooking, in the kitchen

cloaca? i barely knowa

podcast for dummies

how to start a podcast for weenies

my nearly 800 hours in stardew valley on switch and over 400 hours on desktop are looking at you from across the bar and asking if you want to start a farm with me

i deeply miss doing my little college radio show. it was fun and cute and i didn't take it seriously enough to do it for real and that's a great regret of mine