clearly we haven’t met everyone’s use case properly and need to try again

obsessed with this critter

true

I am so winning at mothers day

Everything is awful. Here's a baby goat with a tiny bouquet of flowers picked right out of the lawn at The Beer Garden

destroying the trees themselves instead of the peaches is where this goes from unmitigated greed into actual evil

When I’m fhe empress of the Earth, terrifying and magnificent to behold, I will ban beige paint for houses. You’ll have to get a special dispensation to use it, like medieval royals who wanted to marry their cousins. Also you will be shot on the spot if you paint over wood molding and walls.

IT, IS TIME ‼️

Happy Mental Health Awareness Month

A guy came in today and asked "so what are you training to be a bike mechanic or something" and i said yes?? i don't quite like your tone sir

Everytime I drop a tool and it goes CLANKCLINGCLANG on the floor this comes to mind

Awww, did the bubbies' feelings get hurt in their safe space? Give your balls a tug, boys

I can't stop thinking about this video since I saw it last night

This is who fried the rice.

Why didn’t he try to shoot the spider in self defense

Farm bankruptcies spiked 46% in 2025.

“Boyish, well-mannered guy of average height wins hot movie star’s affections through fully-committed drag performance” just demolishes an entire worldview.

Can’t wait until taking away Black representation solves nobody’s problems and in fact makes them all worse

RIP to everyone banned by the mods for their hubris but I'm different. and better. maybe even better than the mods

so you're telling me a white dude calls for mods to "clean house" of trans people, furries, and leftists he doesn't like, the head moderator of the website likes a bunch of his tweets, and then the next day the moderators begin purging the website of trans people, furries, and leftists? strange!

Breaking: Tennessee Republicans pass new 9-0 gerrymander after SCOTUS destruction of Voting Rights Act eliminating state’s only majority-Black district & last Democratic seat. Splits Memphis, which is 63% Black, into 3 districts to disenfranchise Black voters. Quite literally a return to Jim Crow

if the hantavirus is serious we're going to fall into the same trap as covid where the name isn't scary enough for americans to take seriously. act now and rename it the ShittingYourselfInFrontOfABeautifulWomanVirus before it's too late

happy 9th anniversary to the day we watched Zendaya fall madly in love with Tom Holland in real-time

found this guy on Tiktok who has discovered carpenter's speed squares make an insanely satisfying noise when you bounce them off tires or wood, called @lostcoastedc on there

Bluesky Account Behavior: with your +1 for Socialism and +3 for Trans, your post "lol the trust and safety guy was jorkin it" will receive *rolls 2d8* fifteen strikes

Dog owners: oh I prepped for months to adopt! Cat owners: I found him in the trash

your post was classified as a serious boo boo, adding four goofs to your account, which elevates your permanent record to a gold bungle. we're putting you in the no no zone for a week

Everyday I am forced to contend with the fact that the real reason that we will never get out of this mess is because the ultimate dream of the liberal is a world of convenience in which the systems of oppression work so stealthily & effectively that they can ignore it while feeling like good people

atp we could just throw them in the content creator bucket and call them "law influencers" like be serious dude

"The Switch is so old," you all said. "I need better graphics," you demanded. "Wah wah," you cried. And now, you sit here before Slippy Toad, the slippiest he's ever been, slippier than a fucking banana peel under a kart wheel, all thanks to the raw power of the Nintendo Switch 2—and you reject him?

hmmm… gonna be a big disagree from me on that one, ebenezer

30 percent of the county are absolute rubes and you could take them for every cent they had before they knew what was happening if you were cunning enough about it

these 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 things they neither lift nor peel. I can't remember the last time I didn't give up and stab the damn thing to get it open without dealing with this bullshit

drinkin a cider while i wait for sirens to stop

ma we on the tv!!

I’m slightly more of a dog person than a cat person but I deeply respect how dogs have all been bred to serve humanity in a bunch of specific ways and cats have been domesticated for 10,000 years and are still going “look I’m just gonna do cat stuff take it or leave it”

MAMMAL BULLYING A REPTILE: Nice body temperature dude. Did the sun pick it out for you

[putting my ER bill, expensive groceries and $5/gallon gas on a 35% APR credit card] I think we can all agree I'm doing well financially

Girl going "this is so unprofessional" you take video calls in a bar???

Watching some sports interview and "we like to swing the bat" well i would certainly hope so

My nurse at the VA practically bounced to go get shots when I asked if I could get up to date on any vaccines, flu shot, etc last visit. She was so happy

speaking of webcomics I still think this Hark A Vagrant panel is like. the single funniest image of all time

they pay me in woims

Hey, this is as close to a retirement home experience at I'm ever gonna be able to afford

I think it's less offensive than the fact that y'all want cancer patients to die

There is something so insidious about the "only take them as long as you need them" language that they always frame as a very compassionate moderate position. My brain has quirky chemistry. When I go off my meds, it gets bleak. Just like when I take off my glasses, I can't see as well.