this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to show up in full combat gear on a hot summer day to the pool he filled with algae because he gave a paint job to one of his cigar puffing cronies. you are ordered to stop tourists from touching the green water. good luck soldier

I finally got latex pillows like Ive wanted for over a decade and now I’m officially boug

I don’t think you need a better reason to oppose data centers than “because fuck those guys.”

The thing people don’t understand about Hasan Piker is that he is extremely hot

the Knicks getting a ticker tape parade in NYC is top 10 all time Americana coded, probably

I just seconds ago learned Sam Altman is a married gay man w children and not a Mark Zuckerberg-style sexless straight from @oldmanweldon.bsky.social on I Hate Bill Maher. I encounter the world in an unusual way I feel like

The new InfoWars will livestream every Thursday at 8 p.m. this summer across any platform you watch video. The first episode will include Emergency Broadcast! with Tim Heidecker, the Jim Haggerty Show, and a bunch of surprises and very special guests every week. We've got grand designs.

It’s been five years since Alex Jones lost InfoWars to the Sandy Hook families. As the verdict came down, he asked: “Do these people actually believe they’re getting any money?” He hasn't paid them a penny. Well, The Onion is going pay them anyway. The new InfoWars begins July 2nd at 8 p.m. ET.

🐦 Parrots in captivity /. London: George Bell and Sons, 1884-1887 [i.e. 1883-1888]. [Source]

Modi chuckles after Trump says "mutilization"

Stop triggering me with the A24 logo

Okay my theory is someone who actually has a fucking clue (not Vance or the real estate agents he had been relying on before) and who is handsome and tall with nice shoes and cuff links got a chance to talk to him.

on the one hand It Happening is going to be fucking great. but on the other hand him having to linger around in a wheelchair being hounded by prosecutors and civil suits while life goes on and he shrinks down into a tiny leathery detested goblin is acceptable too

happy birthday Isabella Rossellini

Gas is over $6 even at the local arco that is the cheapest gas in the area bc it isn’t on a main thoroughfare … we are living in the times that make strong men

and all of them are senior university administrators

Or even baby cthulu….

Tarik got tickets for a concert I really want to go to but we’re both so upset about having plans lmao. I have decided to don’t have to take time to look fancy bc it’s a weeknight. Unc, chopped, washed. Those do not even begin to describe me

groguthulu

genuinely what the fuck is wrong w these people. Why are their hearts so rotten.

AI is going to make the pizzas, the future is now stop being left behind

Look I give Trump no grace and wish he would die on live television like Bud dwyer but the part of me that needs to make things make sense wonders if he thinks Kuwait is Qatar? they don’t touch but theh both have a “k” sound they’re separated with only a thin strip of Iraq so?

She’s older and more yoked now, but she’s still a stinker. Tonight when Tarik told her to go to her kennel, she skittered under the bed so fast he didn’t see and was trying to find her in the living room. And she hid under it until she thought the coast was clear. absolute imp

I’m so sick of having to look at actors w Latisse eyelashes and fake lips and shaved off noses. and buccal fat removal. I’m going to become a film guy just so I can never have to look at a movie made after 1990 again.

In not 100% but I think the new minions movie features a baby cthulu?

I’m assuming the B52 that crashed outside of Long Beach was part of a federal intimidation gambit and or war crimes and have decided I do not care about lives lost. Don’t at me.

Pronouncing Knicks with two syllables like it’s Old English

even Long beach was firing off some fireworks for the knicks

“Just bumping this to the top of your inbox in Case it got buried over the weekend. Talk soon!”

Just liquidate them. For decades these hylics took millions to build fascism—wealth from insatiable narcissism and the arrogance of teachers pets—and they have the gall to call it a gulag when they’re being paid millions for laptop labor. Sorry you’re just jealous meat! People begged you to be more!

My family @ me when i say I’m too busy to travel to Texas

I for one support the Golden Horde's focus on an effective postal system!

Her hands look like this [nuanced well articulated & humorous observations] so his can look like this [counting likes and RTs]

fleeing your village with your goatse

He literally stole this whole thread from me. I’m the Temugin-aboo In the relationship

I’m muting the term Platner. theres like 5 ppl in Maine and none of you people are them it’s incredible

I don’t mean to be controversial or cause offense but I do the opposite of whatever condemning the IRA would be. Like the American reconstruction, They didn’t go far enough

Always pointing out that Elon Musk has deliberately murdered hundreds of thousands of people mostly in the global south and it is estimated that he will have murdered 14 million people via DOGE alone in the next 5 years.

it sucks so fucking much that we let this moronic racist south african eugenicist fabulist just run amok in this world-historical manner

Yeah I’m in the PNW…the penis in waluigiussy

it hasn't even been a year. just in awe of how disrespected his legacy has been

Charlie Kirk was unalived with a pewpew

babe wake up, the octopus are surging

fyi in case you did not know trumps people are ordering military exercises in LA county cities (including Long Beach) with little warning to city officials. Helicopters guns etc. they’re practicing!

David Lucas of elephant graveyard fame is on my plane and better believe I’m loling