The nation’s thrift store managers demand the little price tags with only the most impossibly high residue adhesive. I want that shit gummier than a nursing home cafeteria, they say

Mad Men 4K

my dog: *being treated in such a way that shame has been placed on his bloodline for one thousand years* me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw

I apparently store my holiday decorations like a Jeopardy Champ which by the transit of property means that I am clever and good at button smashing and have 5 “fun facts about me” at the most.

is there a reason why every single paid streaming service UI has only gotten incredibly worse and less usable over time

My niece had her 5th bday as a “drive through” party. Her family set up on the driveway w decorations & invited everyone to drive by at 1pm to wave hello & get a slice of cake. She felt so special bc a long line of cars came to celebrate her. Our family all decorated their cars & it was very sweet.

My neighbor put a sign in her window asking what my cat’s name was. It was a lovely little bit of human interaction at a time when I really needed it.

gritting my teeth and commanding every muscle in my body to relax through sheer force of will

Midwestern exorcist: Well that's not what ya want

My cats are also super finicky about schedules and routines. Every weekend we go through the same “disruption” because I don’t have to go to bed so early. “Why is SHE in *MY* living room? It’s 10pm. This is really messing up Dudes Only Time.” and then they sleep late on Sunday bc of the interruption

Tangentially related: I learned through a coworker that sober raves are a big thing for people in recovery. You can get tripped out just from the music/lights without drugs or alcohol. Apparently there’s whole festivals & stuff that are strictly sober.

Fish have committed credit card fraud

My brother worked at an arcade place & one of the few perks was to make them have a stronger grab for his friends when they came by. Bosses didn’t care either bc the real money was made elsewhere (their machines only had cheap plush toys) & honestly how many plush frogs do you really want?

me: i don’t feel safe with other people. like, any praise in general my brain dismisses it Therapist Who is a Caveman: me see. you am deserve love. we all am. yes. need love survive me: i guess. it’s just hard trying to function when you still got your training wheels on Caveman Therapist: wheel?

This is misinformation spread by Big Tricycle.

We were at a non-romantic, business hotel but the bathroom had a barn door that left a 1 inch gap directly next to the toilet. So we had to “take a walk” when the other person needed privacy but also meant every room made the same awful garage door rumble whenever the door was moved. Noisy as heck!

One of the cruelest tricks society played on creative people was planting the idea that being proud of your work is somehow unseemly and egotistical. You made a thing! You like it! You SHOULD be proud of it. Brag all you want!

putting together a team

guy on jeopardy today described as a 'stay at home dog dad.' shoot for the moon fellas

Like her or not, I’ve seen Katie Porter in multiple grocery stores. Pushing her own cart, dealing with the bonkers parking lot, loading her own bags. She at least understands what it means to be part of the public. Which counts for something!

Sometime late in the Bush administration we as a country stopped illuminating rooms with a floodlight placed directly behind a slowly rotating industrial fan and our nation has been floundering ever since.

Seeing people I know in here. Claim your settlement, friends!

Here is an obituary for Alice Wong from The Sick Times, a publication aligned with disability rights and disability activism, if you are looking for an alternative to reading the nyt one: thesicktimes.org/2025/11/15/a...

The fuckin bears did it. They built the toilet paper MOAB

Pleased to report that, after reviewing consumer feedback, we are adding fourth and fifth categories of receptacles outside of our movie theaters. Continue putting your garbage in whichever. Thank you.

Reading about this phenomenon? Buckle up for some yawnin, my friend.

Best reason to go off the record.

sleeping with socks on is insane behavior. your feet could suffocate in the night. you need bare feet, ideally both under the covers so the underbed monster can’t eat them, but if you’re willing to take the risk you can stick a foot out for temperature regulation

Eating a sundae with a long spoon is the height of decadence. The longer the spoon the more decadent it is. Ideally you shouldn't even be in the same room as the sundae

French 15 year old: Skibidi Toilet? Non. I am, how you say, Skibidi Jules Maigret

They should invent a California where you can afford to live

Right about now, the honk shoo brother

just started having recency bias and i love it. easily the best bias

I knew that Mamdani had it; he had the people and did the work, and has been the clearest and most lucid in rejecting the untenable current state of things. But the vile, bigoted shit against him was so constant, and I am conditioned to that working better than I want. This feels like an exorcism.

City of Sickos

[bursts in door] never forget that Dick Van Dyke once got rescued by porpoises after he drifted out to sea on a surfboard

i can’t believe a good thing happened we should do this more often

it’s funny how a simple message like “you should love where you live” resonates, isn’t it

everybody gets twenty-four hours to lib out with impunity, tonight is the cringe purge

Good things are possible and we don’t have to settle.

if the defense needs an expert witness i've tested sandwich rotational speed extensively and can say horizontal velocity is not a significant factor in their coherence until you reach 30+ RPM

good morning to no one except the woman who dressed up like an AMC movie theater for the halloween parade

My parents (who aren’t dummies) got scammed by one of these. The site was a mimic of the state’s open exchange & it cost hundreds of dollars a month. Didn’t know til there was an emergency & ER billing lady told them it was a scam & they owed $17k for the visit.

it’s time

The toddler requested we dress like her favorite stickers (which are named after us) and we were happy to oblige! Bonus: Ryan got to wear his “basketball skin” orange shoes which are exactly what it sounds like.

Middle age is primarily about opening a new kitchen sponge and going "this is much better"

The funny thing about the invention of the wheel is the guy who invented it died penniless. It wasn't until much much later that pennies were invented

It’s frustrating as a mentor to see your protégées not be able to come up with a quick little fib on the fly. You brushed your teeth and yet the toothbrush is dry? Didn’t even bother to run the sink? Cmon now!