If Bilbo had Chat GPT

w.b. yeats died on this day in 1939. if, instead of dying, he had begun to age again but in reverse, he would have reached his birth - i.e. become 0 years old - in 2012. Assuming that he then began ageing in the normal direction again, he would currently be 14 years old and preparing for his gcses

The doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Google the golden ratio, also known as the divine proportion. That should pick you up." The man bursts into tears. He says, "But doctor... I am Fibonacci."

Happy 3 year anniversary to this post

Today is "Large boulder the size of a small boulder" day!

We got Teletubby tattoos, threw Teletubby themed weddings and named our children after characters from the show - baby names like Dipsy, Noo Noo and Tubby Toast. We interpreted our politics through the lens of a land over the hills and far away, carrying signs with slogans like "Tinky Winky's Army"

this invoice could have been a podcast

I read that "Why Gen Z doesn't like Harry Potter" article and trying to imagine someone writing 70 years ago a "Reasons Gen X are ignoring Biggles" article for the Times

In anniversary news which I can’t quite verify, it may be 39 years (possibly more) since the Indian Air Force dressed their helicopters up as elephants for Republic Day

Promotional packaging for an appetite suppressant, from a 1970s Graphis magazine feature on designs created for pharmaceutical company Roche

From the FAQ on the Bayreuth Festival website.

'Muuuuuuum, I want to play on the climby thing but there's a jazz band and they won't let me on'

We could eat toads to honour him

I think a lot about the catagory errors people make when they open up a restaurant, the most obvious of which is "I am a good home cook and like dinner parties, I can just upscale what I do as a hobby" and yet this remains the most "oh mate" article ever. torontolife.com/food/restaur...

This would not be my first choice if I were choosing band names now

YOU - No, I'll show you how a gentleman treats a doorbell! (Kiss the doorbell.)

A very happy, strawberry-flavoured birthday to the brilliant @christinamartin.bsky.social, who wrote my favourite Viz letter of all time.

Grandpa Simpson voice: They’d hide the toy in the bottom of the cereal, which was pluralised back then. About half the cereal went on the floor in the finding, which was the fun of it. The reflectors showed status. I myself had six reflectors on one wheel, which is how I became King for the summer.

The ‘new shoes’ that Paolo Nutini sang about in his 2006 hit ‘new shoes’ are now 20 years old. They would be old shoes now.

Do you think unbending Clippy until he was a long piece of metal would be painful for him. Or do you think it would cause him to feel a great sense of relief

in my objective opinion, the greatest posts of all time, disclaimer, i am a huge nerd, and this is a joke about my specialism, nevertheless, my objectivity does not lead me off the true road

this one's been gettin' a lotta play in my head lately

Italian voice actor Carlo Bononi was the voice of all of the characters on Pingu. A trained clown by trade, he used a theater technique called grammelot, which consists of "speaking" in a mix of babbled gibberish noises. He improvised all the voices live and unscripted.

The New World asked me to speak to some British trans women about what life has been like for them over the past few years - here's what they had to say, in their own words: www.thenewworld.co.uk/marie-le-con...

Letter in Times today

every day the Financial Times asks me questions i am frankly unqualified to answer

Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools

this has reminded me: new parents, there is a brief but wonderful window where you can fit your baby's arms inside toilet roll tubes

Tapping sadly on the window of the swan sanctuary with one of two Pringles cans I’ve got stuck on my hands, sobbing “yes it *has* happened again, please don’t make me go to the people hospital”

COW TOOLS COW TOOLS COW TOOLS

Baddesley Clinton @nationaltrust.org.uk property has been conducting an experiment: what happens if you let the children of today try out a typewriter?

As the UKRI comms team, we’re lucky to visit some truly fascinating places. Last month we were 1.1km underground at Boulby Underground Laboratory - surrounded by salt and exploring the mine. It got us thinking… What other research locations should more people know about? Show us!📸

On this date in 1994 (which was 12 years ago, obviously) the first episode of The Day Today was broadcast on BBC2.

Frog blocked the account. "There," he said. "Now we will not see anything annoying from it" "But everyone else on the timeline can still post about the account" said Toad. "That is true," said Frog.

I love that the literal translation of escalator into Irish is “living stairs”

I can pull off most hats. But it makes their owners very angry.

Lauren Laverne sobbing into her hands as I pick "The Boys are Back in Town" for every single disc

every month features a headline saying "Boost/Blow to Rachel Reeves as GDP SURGES/COLLAPSES 0.1%" and then you read on and it's entirely dependent on whether Jaguar Land Rover have managed to turn on their computers

Artist: The Legendary Pink Dot https://b3ta.com/board/11424623 From the 'Music and Food II' challenge https://b3ta.com/challenge/musicandfood2/popular/ #MusicAndFoodII

Them: I never see you at the club. Me: well, I never see you at the Ilkeston NatWest hole in the wall x

But what if I were to disguise my weak joke as a Simpsons reference? Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, millennial man.

wikipedia turns 25 today! the last unenshittified major website! backbone of online info! triumph of humanity! powered by urge of unpaid randos to correct each other! somehow mostly reliable! "good thing wikipedia works in practice, because it sure doesn't work in theory" - old wiki adage

"the next time you look into a career in the armed forces"

I have met so many Dans, and female Dans, and they always blow my mind

I must draw your attention to the header image for the Houses of Parliament fast stream www.civil-service-careers.gov.uk/fast-stream/...

Been watching the snooker masters and enjoying it but most of all I've enjoyed that the little facts they show us about the players are from the "data baize"

I definitely fit into the category of former Dilbert fan (particularly big for me at age 11 for some reason) This section from the Joy of Work is surprisingly accurate as an adult