Delighted to *finally* get the green light for my latest project, "Business Secrets of Zohran Mamdani: Mobilising Gen Z-Millennial Coalitions in the Modern Workplace" 😌 Coming May 2026 via Random House 🥳

babe, i need you to level with me. do you think i'm coded like the pleasant but ineffectual boyfriend in the first act of a Nora Ephron rom-com? don't pull your punches here. would you ever go Meg Ryan mode on me??

Bond markets spooked as the Chancellor appears to disappear behind raised hands; gilts stage rally as she reveals she was actually there the whole time

?

Bond markets spooked as the Chancellor appears to disappear behind raised hands; gilts stage rally as she reveals she was actually there the whole time

The question, Madame Deputy Speaker, is simple. Did the Prime Minister know it was a Pussy Palace? (Echoing jeer - 'Pussy Palace!') And if so, when did he know?

ever since i was a small boy i knew i wanted to send and receive emails

(hearing that my recently separated ex-wife has written a concept album about my infidelity) Is that good ?

bro last night was a magisterial and timely reassessment of seemingly well-worn terrain

bro last night was a playful yet knowing ode to transcendence on the dancefloor

please can i come to the party tonight? i promise won't do the spoken word poetry banking advert bit again (three beers later) Here's to the kitchen thinkers. The M&S tinnie drinkers. The bathroom queue winkers. The champagne flute clinkers. Here's to the people that make this gathering, a party.

every day the Labour comms staffer with a debilitating X addiction goes raw-knuckle fist to fist with the one who reads Bluesky. today Bluesky staffer *almost* made it to the keyboard before having a chair broken over their head. so maybe think before you offer "easy" answers ?

i'm taking a lot of heat at the tavern for suggesting maybe the good king really does have evil advisors. all i'm saying is, how would we know ??

my new habit of narrating all my actions and re-stating key plot developments - to make things easier to follow for the casual viewer - is starting to cause friction with my acquaintances and loved ones

MS Outlook: Reaction Daily Digest 😬 Adam reacted to your message: Anyone up for a pint tonight? 🤡 John reacted to your message: Re: Some ideas for systems improvement 👎 Ellen reacted to your message: Anyone up for a pint tonight? 🖕Tim reacted to your message: Help! Locked in meeting room?

bro, is everything okay at the moment ? your latest state of the nation play is lacking your trademark vitality and urgency 😕

My love, I hope this letter finds you well. Things go nicely at the bog, and the other men are in good spirits. They say if we place our nets right we'll return with bog crabs enough for the county. But I confess, at times I suffer a sinister melancholy; I've taken to prodding the crabs with a stick

ah, London .. the city of a thousand stories. eight hundred memoirs. a hundred and sixty novellas. thirty-three collected works. and as many as seven state of the nation plays

Euston replacing the free water refill machine with an app-based paid alternative, now permanently out of order ... yet another day living in a heavy handed metaphor scaled up to medium-size developed economy

Saturday is all about drinking your little coffee and playing it by ear

archaeologists uncover 11,000 year old michelin star restaurant in modern-day turkey

her: are you Fleabagging our interactions again? (snapping out of my wry middle-distance look to an imaginary camera) .. no ?

'Nature's Labubu': why are Gen Z 'unboxing' conkers?

The eponymous "Simpsons", featuring the titular family of the same name

(A House of Dynamite voice) Mr President, I'm afraid a new feature on dating apps and AI has been launched from somewhere within the Guardian Lifestyle features section - and we think we have at most 18 minutes before it hits the timeline.

Ughh boss? You're gonna wanna take a look at this (i wordlessly hand you a large, golden, beautifully crisp fallen leaf from the forest floor)

if i was in A House of Dynamite i reckon i would have had it all sorted out in seventeen minutes. maybe sixteen?

flop Gil bluesky post blamed on late-twenties producer 'marinated in 2021-era tweet formats'

Le Creuset is Cheugy 👎

Society today has no sense of community. When I was a kid, we'd play out on the street every day. We'd pop round Mum's for a tea. We'd bribe rent collectors for dibs on a terrace .. (I realize I'm remembering the landmark 1957 sociological study 'Family and Kinship in East London') ah.. Nevertheless

Americans love to say things like "This is a five-alarm fire - if not the whole damn ballgame."

WeWork just handed me a "mental health goody bag" comprising; a 20-page journal, a peel-off face mask, three small bags of corn, six scented wax cubes, a ginger and tumeric shot, a Dubai Chocolate vegan protein brownie, and a "Choose Happy" sticker

grey-haired former post-punks spilling out of the Edwyn Collins farewell tour and mixing in the streets with blue-tied Tory conference delegates. a snapshot of this divided nation ?

confidently and wrongly told the bartender i had been served then stuck in bar purgatory for ten minutes. humiliating.

State of the nation novel that follows the lives of 12 diverse, seemingly unconnected people living in London, interspersed with vignettes about the dismantling of wet wipe island. At the end of the book it's revealed they all flushed wetwipes that contributed to the island.

It’s happened again

Sébastian Lecornu taught me it was okay to be weird

(guy who keeps getting populist and poptimist mixed up) It's time for the Left to embrace Sabrina Carpenter

Good vibes and making friends: is queuing the cool new thing to do?

first time back manning the BBC News app after my moderately severe head injury

(Flipping a bug upright) Up she goes. Chin up. There's a good lad

the "brat" songstress, the lime green phenomenon - hell, i probably don't even need to say her name. and that kids (misspelling MARKETING in giant font on the chalkboard) is the power of Brand

Nothing beats slumping over to the side in your throne, making a slight hand movement and saying "Enough...I tire of this." - then later you hear people saying things like "our lord has been in poor humour as of late"

getting the ick after they get placebo effects from a double blind trial

gently approaching the bond markets with a tempting handful of hay and a heavy weighted blanket

enormous crispy leaf just fell on my head like i am Winnie the Pooh. undignified but autumnal