Welcome to Pinehaven, the setting of my new psychological horror narrative. Here, life is good. But lurking just under the surface of this pleasant, all-American town, is something unexpected - a second, slightly smaller, equally pleasant all-American town

bringing a podcast mic along to the party to lend my remarks an easy conversational air with a certain implicit credibility

just passed a shopfront reading "Unique Windows: Your Future in Fenestration"

her: I guess I'm looking for something of a Renaissance Man, you know? me (thinking of Vitruvian Man, slowly shifting my arms and legs to outline a perfect circle): Totally

Lineup for 'Will This Do?' festival 2026 unveiled, featuring The Fratellis (Chelsea Dagger 17th anniversary tour), Jess Glynne, and Groove Armada (DJ set)

Trying to shake hands with the cashier after a successful transaction

just rounded out a Best of 2025 list with Geese. newsroom is on their feet. atmosphere is electric. they didn't think it could be done. same time next year?

hey man. i'm so sorry to hear about the Leeds tram. honestly gutted for you. if you ever want to talk about it or even just grab a quiet pint, let me know. men's mental health is so important 🙏

catchy vocals, entertaining melodies, and drums that could play all night .... lets just say ..... welcome to spotify

"and francis fukuyama spends his days making chairs now" as a kind of affirmation/turn of phrase

imagining a cat or dog called Siobhan

laid up in bed with a severe case of posters block, demanding a 'hearty stew' in quavering tones, and generally burdening those around me

obviously not the major driver of his health concerns but it is very funny to read A Christmas Carol as an adult and realize that when tiny tim first says "God bless us, every one!" he's a severely malnourished child and they've given him a cup of hot gin

marginalia would be a beautiful name for a girl

Manchester City Council announces new paving slab that shoots even more water up your trouser leg when stepped on - "We've listened"

can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot

Blue Moon is a film about what it feels like to be in your late twenties

mixing up Cameron Winter and Geordie Greep and getting immediately kicked from the group chat of slightly intense men in their mid-twenties

struggling to get much momentum behind my pro-parking fine activist journalism short form video account

(triple texting) We need a German Rosalia 🙌

they should do a second Spotify wrapped once you've had time to retcon your listening around albums of the year listicles and consensus taste

if you get your password mostly right you should still be allowed to log in

tucking in overnight oats under a tiny blanket with a gentle forehead kiss

Locking in: How people are embracing winter arc without burning out

someone has carved the words "Horrible Man. Liar" into the stone steps of my apartment block overnight - a sentiment i don't think is directed at me, but an important moment to reaffirm commitments to truth and general pleasantness nevertheless

age 0 (baby): I am Henry age 25 (zoomer): I am a HENRY Do you see how fucked this is?

really sorry to hear your boyfriend has started describing himself as a 'Henry' 😕

really enjoying my first day as OBR head of PDF uploads!

it's soooooo fashionable to care about men's mental health 🙄 and yet a decidedly cool reception from the labels for my "Self Esteem for straight guys" experimental pop-rock project ? 😕

I'm on the trading floor holding my head in my hands, and flashing coquettish glances at the AP photographer. I'm rubbing my eyes in disbelief as line goes down on all 6 of my screens. "Never seen numbers like this" I say way too loudly as the FT reporter passes my desk "There goes the Economy"

Laundrette would be a beautiful name for a baby girl

(with a pained expression) We must make economies dearest. Our station is not what it was. The daily £6 baked good and oat flat white, that must go (my small sturdy son, on the verge of tears) And what of Father's Mubi subscription?

omw 😎

Guys will be saying stuff like "Here's 10 revenue raising measures 👇 (1/11)" while their girl asking why the joint account hemorrhaging to policy Substacks 🤨 Buddy you're worrying about the wrong fiscal headroom 😭

Epstein's male friends: You have the courage of a lion. You are the truest friend. Our lives are as one. Stand firm Jeffrey. Give them hell. my male friends: Hey man. How's it going?

london review of blokes

Delighted to *finally* get the green light for my latest project, "Business Secrets of Zohran Mamdani: Mobilising Gen Z-Millennial Coalitions in the Modern Workplace" 😌 Coming May 2026 via Random House 🥳

babe, i need you to level with me. do you think i'm coded like the pleasant but ineffectual boyfriend in the first act of a Nora Ephron rom-com? don't pull your punches here. would you ever go Meg Ryan mode on me??

Bond markets spooked as the Chancellor appears to disappear behind raised hands; gilts stage rally as she reveals she was actually there the whole time

?

Bond markets spooked as the Chancellor appears to disappear behind raised hands; gilts stage rally as she reveals she was actually there the whole time

The question, Madame Deputy Speaker, is simple. Did the Prime Minister know it was a Pussy Palace? (Echoing jeer - 'Pussy Palace!') And if so, when did he know?

ever since i was a small boy i knew i wanted to send and receive emails

(hearing that my recently separated ex-wife has written a concept album about my infidelity) Is that good ?

bro last night was a magisterial and timely reassessment of seemingly well-worn terrain

bro last night was a playful yet knowing ode to transcendence on the dancefloor

please can i come to the party tonight? i promise won't do the spoken word poetry banking advert bit again (three beers later) Here's to the kitchen thinkers. The M&S tinnie drinkers. The bathroom queue winkers. The champagne flute clinkers. Here's to the people that make this gathering, a party.