we have such a short window of opportunity to break the morale of Gen X before the current wave of 90s nostalgia curdles into the worst reactionary voting block of all time

Warning Signs For The Left? After muted reception for recent album I Quit, industry insiders say Columbia is set to unveil a new, fourth, anti-woke Haim sister in the latest conservative coup over corporate America

(thoughtfully) that's a great question. i'd describe myself as something of a poptimist for alternative dance. but with a keen and playful ear for the indie sensibilities of my youth ... my date (visibly mentally composing her shit date text to the groupchat) What animal do you think you'd be?

I can't use dark mode on bluesky, it reminds me of twitter. Let's get a new colour. Let's do a dark burgundy felt, with a mahogany wood trim. There could be a candlelight effect that flickers and is brighter in the middle of the screen. You could click on a wee dagger or guild crest for group chats.

some prime ministers were born to reshape the economy. some were destined to transform geopolitics. others were fated to eat shit for slightly over a year before raising income tax by 2% and immediately being couped by three different factions. politics is the art of coming to terms with this 👆

whenever i wear a blazer to work it's like okay everyone move aside. Mr Business coming through

starting to worry our cultural and political classes may exactly not be up to the current historical moment ?

We may never know what happened in Utah. But one thing is clear for British politics: it's time to start the conversation about civility in online discourse | Opinion

hey queen. i'm sorry i called your boyfriend "disgustingly Pitchforkcore" and gave your relationship a 4.6 because he said he liked Nilufer Yanya. i was in a really dark place last night. yeah it was the Mandelson news. he's just been through so much 😕

Epstein's male friends: You have the courage of a lion. You are the truest friend. Our lives are as one. Stand firm Jeffrey. Give them hell. my male friends: Hey man. How's it going?

[not really paying attention when handed a book] jeffrey great working with you. good luck with the new job, you will be missed! josh

babe, can i ask you something? and i want you to tell the truth, even if it hurts me. okay. do you think i would have been swept up in the Heathrow Terminal 4 mass hysteria event ? ... babe ?? oh god

leaving little handwritten notes and words of affirmation around the apartment for my landlord ahead of their property check 🥰

Warning Signs For The Left? After muted reception for recent album I Quit, industry insiders say Columbia is set to unveil a new, fourth, anti-woke Haim sister in the latest conservative coup over corporate America

This gets progressively funnier with every use of the term "floppy".

everyone loooves CMAT's musical exorcism of the ghosts of the Celtic Tiger 🙄 and yet somewhat less hype for my dark ambient triptych exploring the soundscapes of the Barber Boom ?

saw your boyfriend typing "steve reed yimby ??' into Chat-GPT 😕

standing impassively Boiler Room front row with wraparound sunglasses and tucked-in Fitzcarraldo Editions white graphic t-shirt

Financial Times reading girlfriend keeps dodging my requests to talk with vague commitments to structural reform ?

A recent viral trend has youths going "Merkel Mode" by declaring their steadfast commitment to democratic norms and the international rules based order

Gen Z don't know how to live in the moment. In my day, we'd go to warehouse parties. In freakin' Brooklyn. We had blogs. Open mics. Greenpoint. And yeah, we would get our hearts broken. By Adam. By Marnie. Even by Shosh .. (it is increasingly clear i am remembering HBO's Girls) Ah .. nevertheless,

Welcome to my festival of music 😌 (crowd cheers) And of ideas 😏 (crowd screams, blast doors slam shut, Rory Stewart jogs on stage)

every group got that one pre-industrial friend on a biphasic sleep cycle 🙄 buddy, nobody is feeling the 2am hang-outs 💀

- Twice-Toasted Toast - "Temptress" Avocado - Pumpernickel-on-rye - The Urchin's Oats 👆 Just a few of the plates available at my new South Manchester brunch joint, The Cabinet of Delicacies

It's got to the stage where if 'you don't know anyone who has written a state of the nation play or novel' you need to broaden your social circle. Or, perhaps, reflect on what it is about your behaviour that means your friends don't feel able to share their first drafts with you.

John Burn-Murdoch has broken into my apartment and is charting my personal decline across key metrics in red paint over the walls

Going down a big incredible slide over and over again, but my dour expression remains unchanged. My mind is focused on the big issues of contemporary society.

that’s a thoughtful and intriguing question. yes — if you’re a pig slop from the trough probably does go crazy. slop—typically a warm, nutrient rich food— is designed to be a feast for pigs. here’s a breakdown of how its complex elements combine to help make it the highlight of their day 👃1. Smell

"Please babe, there's a 4.4 ⭐ just three more blocks away" - The Google Maps Reviews Boyfriend

that's a beautiful collection of moleskine notebooks man. i will say i had a rifle though and i thought your reflections were pretty middling. felt almost like you were doing an impression of someone with a genuinely rich inner life. do keep trying though!! ❤️

WIFE: BABE! There's a Franco outside! ME: (SHOTGUN BLAST THROUGH THE DOOR) ME: (turning over body) ME: It's just Dave. WIFE: Come inside! We've got to lock the door. ME: No use. This was the distraction. Baby, we're already dead.

sinophile developmentalist girlfriend, post-Luddite Deep England revivalist boyfriend

sarina wiegman always looks like a eurocrat trying to get a punitive bailout deal over the line

trapped with four strangers in the vestibule of a delayed and overcrowded Avanti train as the Lionesses take to the pitch for the Euros final - my life a state of the nation play for real

me: and you're saying there are currently no positions open for Man About Town? careers advisor: Not currently, no. (frowning and crossing off the first item listed on an incredibly crinkled paper) Okay. how is Bon Vivant looking ?

watching columbo clips on youtube

In an alternate timeline we're all on here Grinscrolling at many grin inducing current events

Is this the unlikely savior of the Left? I talked authenticity, political correctness, and Rhesus monkeys with divisive progressive tribune Cloth Mother 👇

hey man. no no i loved the dust jacket quote you gave me. okay well to be honest .. "Singular and unsparing"? after i called your state-of-the-nation play "Urgent, timely and necessary"?? look i don't want this to be a whole thing. maybe work in "Vital" somewhere ? still on for Saturday 100% though

In 2025, we know it's harder than ever to switch off, disconnect and simply live in the moment. And that's why we're proud to launch the first no-phones high street letting agency 👇

drinking a flat white slightly too late in the afternoon and determining higher powers are calling on me to write the Zillennial Girls

We cannot learn from the past…… but maybe we can repeat it

WATCH: Weary traveller lays down his bags by the train station piano; delights and moves passing crowds with "haunting" rendition of Glue by Bicep

TRAIN YOUR EMPLOYEES!

Palatial Bathtimes FAQs: Q: Will the bath attendant be obsequious? A: Yes, the bath attendant will be obsequious.

The “Instant Goose” is a technique where you goose the first duck instead of going into a duck rhythm. The best time to use this advanced technique is when the player before you does a lot of ducks.

please can i come to the party tonight? i promise won't do the spoken word poetry banking advert bit again (three beers later) Here's to the kitchen thinkers. The M&S tinnie drinkers. The bathroom queue winkers. The champagne flute clinkers. Here's to the people that make this gathering, a party.