That could be any 6'11" guy leaving a high-end Japanese restaurant with a private security guard. Happens all the time.

Damn, the Trump administration sure is petty.

Since its apparently AI legal hallucinations day, two attorneys barred from practicing before the Ninth Circuit for six months. cdn.ca9.uscourts.gov/datastore/op...

You want one that will really piss you off? Opposing party told the Court that the other side was citing nonexistent cases and the judge incorporated them into the order anyway. websitedc.s3.amazonaws.com/documents/Ru...

Represented party submits briefing with AI hallucinations. Judge relies on fake cases. Opposing party drafts proposed order incorporating fake cases, but doesn’t tell trial judge about them. Opposing party appeals. Court of appeals none too pleased. websitedc.s3.amazonaws.com/documents/D0...

11yo and 8yo were having a funeral for a broken toy pokeball. I would be more sympathetic if the funeral (which included the toy being covered in cloth with a paper headstone) wasn’t 10+ minute songs while they were supposed to be cleaning. 11yo sang multiple songs including Memories by Maroon 5.

Unfortunately, I think we all know what is going to happen.

Me: Hello, I have entered this federal building in an attempt to acquire secret documents. Clerk: Rhett, you know there are less suspicious ways to say you’ve been appointed as appellate counsel and need copies of sealed pleadings. Me: Yes. Yes I do.

My “We Aren’t Restructuring Myles Garrett’s Contract to Trade Him” t-shirt is raising a lot of questions already answered by my t-shirt.

This was inevitable. Even if she doesn’t believe this nonsense (I think she does), she wasn’t going to make any money or publicity taking the “yeah I messed up and I was stupid” tact. She was always going to be incentivized to lean into crazy/slush fund money.

Happy You Can Split Your Dead Money Cap Space Hit Between Two Seasons Day for all those who celebrate.

I forgot the PIN code to my debit card. I looked in the mirror & held my arms up, and started naming First Amendment cases. Concluded I wasnt having a stroke. I could name any case I was thinking of except the plaintiff’s name in “Fuck the Draft” but remembered Hugo Black dissented which was weird.

I generally think the Bernie Sanders “there are too many kinds of deodorants” is nonsense, except for the very specific situation where I have to shop for a shirt for family pictures.

Judge Cooper did not accept my draft section on standing in the Donald Trump - Kennedy Center litigation.

Oh, so now it's a crime to hedge against the dollar?

Great, now DNA experts can be impeached just because they are on a DNA quest to find Bigfoot. Can't a person have hobbies anymore? www.ca5.uscourts.gov/opinions/unp...

If you’re going to have a hazmat evacuation zone, a map with an outline of said zone would be helpful.

Big, if true. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

I’m not an IP lawyer, but my recollection of law school makes me think this might not work. Public domain is about copyright, not trademark. So yeah, you can use the art free of copyright, but if consumers were reasonably confused about the origin of goods, it still might be a trademark problem.

Oh hell, what did @rmfifthcircuit.bsky.social do this time?

Derek Dooley is 32-41 as a head coach! Say what you want about Tommy Tuberville, but he was 159-99 as a head coach, including an undefeated season in the SEC. …Okay, maybe this isn’t the best way to pick politicians. But I don’t see how sucking ass as a coach could be a positive.

8yo pointed to Mermaid Gabby from Gabby’s Dollhouse hanging from the banana holder with a Switch controller safety strap and said “Gabby is hanging for her crimes” We did just finish the WWII graphic novel, so I’m not sure if this is Nuremberg or Mussolini.

There is no way Homer envisioned Helen of Troy as black. We know Homer well enough to know that he would have gotten bored listening to the story and would have reimagined her as an eagle carrying a giant Duff beer can.

Something strategic is *always* happening. Our leaders are not thinking strategically, but events with strategic implications will happen nonetheless. My toddler does not understand physics, but she performs actions with physics implications all the time.

Australian Possum: Fat Squirrel. American Opossum: Death Rat Thank you for your attention to these matters.

@kenwhite.bsky.social I have a topic for your niche podcast. www.sccourts.org/media/opinio...

It’s not the “doxxing”, it’s intent to threaten or that the intent that the information will be used to threaten. www.justice.gov/usao-wdnc/pr...

This insider trading indictment seems awfully familiar somehow.

www.justice.gov/d9/2026-05/u... Lawyers in their 40s who graduated from Yale and Columbia Law and worked for Latham & Watkins, Gotschal Weil, Sidley Austin & Goodwin Procter, now facing insider trading charges for tens of thousands in trades.

I’ve being doing my own research on hantavirus so that I can be an expert on the subject.

Tween Children Parenting 101:

I swear, 20% of people on social media read social media posts like it’s their first day on the internet.

ABC News has verified the Epstein suicide note.

Epstein didn’t sentence structure himself.

Leia is no longer a princess after 64 minutes into A New Hope. You are permanently divested of royal titles when the planet you enjoy sovereignty over explodes. She should have just been Leia at that point.

10 years ago today.

All of this Pulitzer gloating is very disrespectful to all the people on Bluesky that didn’t win a Pulitzer. I didn’t even get nominated.

Kidz Bop on Spotify is an effective weapon against tween children.

Hasan Piker, Graham Platner, and anthropomorphized cartoon dog boobs.

This is going to be an unpopular opinion, but the Comey indictment is legitimate and these are serious allegations.

Now I know why Orin Kerr bemoans the lack of 4th Amendment cases. It’s because when there is one, all they do is talk about him.

Reviewing draft pleadings where the case number accidentally indicated that it was started in 2029. I told the legal assistant that in the grim darkness of far future, there is only war and not lawsuits. She did not get it.

I know that contentious interviews of shitbags get a lot of applause on social media, but there is nothing better than the reserved, not softball, interview where you let the interviewee commit seppuku.

Someone said scrapple was the worst food ever, and I had a lot of left over pulled pork. So I made bastardized version with cornmeal on a quick fry and quick broth infusion. It was good, but I flavored the pork with hot Cajun cayenne and Caribbean habanero. Pooping won’t be fun tomorrow.

This seems like a pretty big omission from the Atlantic's article on Kash Patel. Maybe the complaint isn't as frivolous as we expected.

Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie is starting an OnlyFans.

At least in Terminator 2, T-1000 looked menacing when it was running after the car. This robot looks like it desperately needs to take a shit while waddling to the nearest bathroom. It’s going to really embarrassing when humans are exterminated by the shit-waddle hunter killers.

Co-counsel: Our vehicle section on this petition is a little weak. Me: It’s a habeas case. What are we supposed to say? “Despite this Court’s well know predilection for lighting habeas petitions on fire to warm the Courtroom, the Court should nevertheless…” Co-counsel: Let’s not write that.