Happy that the budget passed so I can get paid to lose in cases where the court doesn’t address my argument instead of not getting paid to lose in cases where the court doesn’t address my argument.

This is beautifully poetic. Who said that love is dead?

Contrary to popular belief, the cows are not interacting more with whites. They are afraid of the @kenwhite.bsky.social's, perhaps overestimating the White's direct danger to them.

Hmmm. Apparently a full version of Battlefield Earth has been on YouTube for three years and the copyright holder hasn’t DMCA’d it and the algorithm doesn’t think it’s protection-worthy. Tracks, frankly.

Was having sex in the blue whale wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all that that sort of thing was frowned upon. Because I’ve worked in a lot of museums and I tell you people do that all the time.

Huh. I muted a word for 24hrs and now my feed is almost empty.

Fancy people: That article is bullshit. That is not why Heathrow Airport sucks. Let ME tell you why Heathrow sucks!

Jordan Love is going to get indicted for rigging bets after this game.

It’s still wild to me that horses had been extinct in the Americas for 10,000 years before European contact.

Don't gimme that! You've been pardoning with everybody! Snuffy Al Leo Little Moe with the gimpy leg Cheeks Boney Bob Cliff.

Television decisions were made…

I think we can thank professional sports players for filling the white collar federal crime gap that would otherwise exist under Trump’s DOJ.

Bluesky has a distinct lack of A Man for All Seasons instincts.

10yo: Do you know what our sub wrote to our teacher about our class today? Me: That if you threw her at a cop, you might not be found guilty of assault? 10yo: What?

I love Short Circuit. cdn.ca9.uscourts.gov/datastore/me...

BLOCKED, BLOCKED, YOU'RE ALL BLOCKED!

I am re-instituting the no more sandwich puns unless they are really clever rule. Y'all should be holding yourselves to higher standards than this.

While funny, it remains a bad idea to throw sandwiches at cops.

I have lots of issues with Richard Hanania. But the most frequently reoccurring one is that I can’t see his name without breaking into Next Episode. 🎶Ha-na-na-na-nia, it’s the motha f***** D-O-Double-G (Snoop Dogg!). Ha-na-na-na-nia, you know I’m mobbin with the D-R-E.🎶

No, YOU turned up the heat in the car so the kids in the back seat who wouldn’t stop fighting with each other would go into the dance studio a couple minutes early!

The Ninth Circuit case on this is Johnson v. Poway, 658 F.3D 954 (9th Cir. 2011). The simple answer is that K-12 schools have to have control over employee speech in classrooms. You can criticize schools for being too heavy handed on things, but from a First Amendment perspective,

dawg not the steakhouse wedding font

Crap. Get well soon Jayden.

That’s a Vikings catch.

WOW! The Washington Post obtained the rest of the body cam footage showing that the drunk-driving ICE agent promised to check if the arresting officer's partner was Haitian. "I’m going to run some checks when I get back." He added that he would have him deported if "not legit."

I wrote the "Don't lead with a ticky tack criminal case which galvanizes the opposition to back Trump & dampens the effect of later, more serious charges" as a cautionary tale. Trump administration: "At last, we have formulated the perfect strategy of ticky-tack criminal charges against opponents!"

Telemarketer: Hi, Rhett. This is Danny from Levitation… Me: Levitation? Stop right there. I’m an attorney, it’s against my ethical duties to break the laws of physics. Are you trying to get me disbarred? Who sent you? You tell the rest of your Wizards guild buddies that I’m coming for them.

Wife is trying the bold strategy of limiting 8yo and 10yo to having one screaming match/fight per week.

My post election conclusion is that conspiratorial mindsets do not code left or right. The big difference is there isn't a Democratic leader out there fanning the flames or trying to make conspiracy the orthodoxy of the party. And that difference has a huge effect.

Yasiel Puig’s attorneys submit hallucinated cases in court filing, just like the Dodgers hallucinated when they gave Puig a big old contract after he defected from Cuba. reason.com/wp-content/u...

Okay, the Chauncey Billups indictment and alleged gambling scheme is significantly more interesting than I initially believed.

Journalists, we have special CO2 for journalists. You are stealing: get some CO2. You are playing music too loud: CO2, right away. Driving too fast: CO2 Slow: CO2. You are charging too high prices for sweaters, glasses: you get some CO2. You undercook fish? Believe it or not, CO2.

@kenwhite.bsky.social have you considered doing your next appearance on American Greed shirtless?

10 year old is trying to convince wife that I told her at some unknown time that her mascara and skirt did not match. And absolutely no one else is buying this story as remotely plausible.

Message to 20 year olds. You just have to accept the fact the Nazis ruined a lot of otherwise good tattoo ideas. Skulls are out, eagles are out, lightening bolts are out. I know kitten or dolphin tattoos don’t give the hardcore badass vibe you want, but they are safe long-term choices.

Please don’t get me a bad review because I told you your brake pads are gone and that you are grinding on your wheels. I am trying to help you avoid an expensive fix.

The Berenstain Bears: 25-to-life.

Rep Taylor: If you stare long enough, you're supposed to see some hidden, three-dimensional picture. T.S.: Oh, yeah, look, it's a swastika. Rep Taylor: You saw it too? Damn it! I've been staring at this thing for a week now, And I can't see a goddamn thing!

I would just like to thank my local court for live streaming proceedings so that I can watch local legal drama without having to be there in court.

An americano is just black coffee and I will die on this hill.

The utes these days don’t know how to use the googles.

Cashier wanted to card me for buying Italian sparkling mineral water. Which makes me wonder why the bottling of them is the same as rot-gut 40oz malt beer.

Not to ICE Agents (and this was pre-Trump). If you try and take upskirt photos of a flight attendant on a plane, you are committing a federal crime (interference with a flight attendant). So please keep it legal and classy fellas. media.ca11.uscourts.gov/opinions/unp...

I don't know man, maybe the news just isn't for you

Journalist: Here is DHS’s response to my media inquiry about event. Reply: Why are you sharing fascist propaganda? Journo: I assume people can read and engage in a modicum of critical thinking. Reply: it would be better if you said “here is DHS’ fascist lie!” Journo: See my previous reply.

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking? Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

It just feels weird to be on the other side of this. The United States builds military facilities in YOUR country. Your county doesn't build military facilities in United States territory.

Yo dog, I heard you like hallucinated citations, so we put hallucinated citations in your response regarding hallucinated citations so you can show cause while you show cause. iapps.courts.state.ny.us/nyscef/ViewD...