Truly a perfect news alert

one of mediocre-man exes started to get into sports betting right around when we broke up. I don't think about him often, but when a Boston team loses a big game I do allow myself to giggle thinking about how much money that idiot lost 😆

honestly respect for the ad that’s just like “pokemon are cool.” they are cool

Me, a very white person who doesn’t speak Spanish getting ready to read all the analysis of the halftime show so I can fully appreciate it

Bad Bunny “together we are America”

BREAKING: Donald Trump has ousted the President of Puerto Rico

unemployed. loser. weird. gay. dumb

Nate Silver watching a delivery guy in a porn film and predicting he will just leave the pizza

It's all so clear now.

james cameron every couple of years for some reason:

for sale: baby shoes. baby thought they were cringe

It's amazing how bad men are at understanding the female gaze when we've had Shania Twain's seminal work "That Don't Impress Me Much" for almost 30 years.

Just had yet another experience where a friend of mine in her 20s was asked out by a man in his LATE 40S. Of course he "had no idea" when confronted and that was enough for other people to forgive the INSANE ask. Not me - even if he thought she was 35 he's too old for her!

could a depressed person do this? *posts again*

I genuinely wonder how Chicago Pope will respond

Modern-day Romeo and Juliet where he deletes his social media because he thought she deleted hers but really she just got temporarily suspended for pissing off the mods so when she gets back online she sees that he deleted his account so she gets super sad and deletes hers

Tuesday motivation

‘…then they came for the comedians but I did not speak out because I was not funny…’

Yeah I'm back on "He's Definitely Dead And They're Covering It Up."

Doomscrolling is a lot more fun when you're rooting for the doom

Sometimes imagining a better world is just good for your soul.

they teach us spelling while we're still young and impressionable so that nobody questions why everything's spelt so stupid

i thought as a child that the adults would protect those that need protecting but so far that’s been a fucking lie.

“i asked chat gpt” “i asked grok” Jeeves would kill you where you stand

Whenever I begin to lose faith in humanity, I am reminded that there are still everyday heroes out there doing the Lord’s work.

100 men going to watch elite athletes vs. the concept of a brisk walk

I'm starting to figure out why my friends think I'm high all the time despite literally never smoking

what are the ethics of inviting your coworkers to a show called "yellow face"

do you think my dog thinks it's weird i pee in the same exact place every time?

We used to have real leaders, who took their ideas from a chat at the bar instead of the bar on a chart.

Radical Honesty: for a while I thought Joaquin Phoenix was spelled Walking Phoenix and I couldn't figure out if he was the actor playing the Joker or another character I'd never heard also in the movie 🤡

is the maker of NYT Strands okay?

jokes on you New Year’s Eve, I drop the ball all the time

As long as you completely ignore everything, things really aren't so bad.

Workout #2 of a trial run of #75hard and uh yeah can confirm it's hard 😂 But going to stick with it until at least my vacation at the end of Jan and then decide if I want to do it for real 👍

New band name

ME: I have successfully cloned my brain into a robot body ROBOT: *cries* ME: that’s normal ROBOT: I WANT TO DIE ME: also normal

In today's episode of straight people nor realizing what they are saying, behold this Facebook meme I saw

I think back on when I was an idiot child and cringe. “I was so young," I marvel now, a much older idiot…

she wants presents...again 😂 #dogsofbluesky #dailydog