[standing over two bloody gloves, clutching smoking handgun with locked slide, breathless] i couldn’t remember if the hamburger helper is supposed to have a mustache or not,

"The rise of easy to use, free AI generative tools have supercharged this effort, and social media monetization programs have incentivized this effort and are almost entirely to blame." www.404media.co/americas-pol...

I'd examine this listing more closely but I ... don't wanna fall in love. *crickets*

No. The Thing is a movie about a bunch of people who all distrust and hate each other trapped in one building as the tension between them slowly builds until it reaches a breaking point. It's a Thanksgiving movie.

If you're mad that it's difficult to have an objective and nuanced conversation about the pros and cons of AI your beef is with the developers and promoters of this tech who deliberately made that impossible because they benefited from the irrational hype!

an oil war? in 2025? this is beginning to feel more like the real motivator here is not energy geopolitics is nostalgia for an earlier times when the American gerontocracy felt more virile and potent.

thank you for putting a wide variety of $600+ items on your holiday gift guides. I never know how to spend my gift budget of $600+ per person

Police say he then turned the epic vulgar roast on himself

I was voted Wittiest* for senior superlatives. * not Funniest, I noted.

When you talk about poverty in the US, some wag inevitably brings up that the US is, by global standards, a wealthy country. Is that supposed to be a comfort to people who can't afford insulin? People who debate which utility bill they'll pay this month? People drinking water suffused with lead?

If people want to understand why American politics went bananas in 2012, the reason is that the moderate black President took a modest but consequential step toward decoupling healthcare from employment and every billionaire immediately poured their entire portfolio into race-hate media

If we're doing phone discourse, I think I'd prefer to go back to the model where I pay a dollar a month to rent a bakelite phone from the phone company. It's hooked to my wall. It has a long curly plastic coated wire. Nobody can send me emails on it.

Inbox: The independent union at Blue Bottle Coffee, @bbiunion.bsky.social, is on strike. “As of today, we have gone out on the picket line to combat Blue Bottle's bad faith bargaining and ensure fair wages and protections for baristas.”

You can see one of the precursors to AI slop in the way Capital can just puppeteer journalists into writing garbage in favor of Capital, with barely any conscious involvement. Just money telling its servants to make it more money.

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

There's something so insidious about alt chick small business owners. You think "Shes 30 with a septum ring, tattoos & vocal fry...maybe she's chill" But that's a trojan horse, she'll be the kind of boss who uses wellness speak to threaten your job when you need a day off to go to the ER

i have shifted the vibe. pray i do not shift it further.

My eyes are up here. Now they're down there. Now they're several feet away. Please help me catch my eyes

Walking back into a party I stole all the drinks and snacks from: is this place open minded about innovation yet?

I am ready to go beyond implication and say after reading the facts here that one of the most recognizable people working in the White House almost certainly had ICE arrest her nephew's mother as a favor to her brother

Check out vowels if you need to make a sound

To bear out this rosy projection, HSBC assumes that OpenAI will become "as ubiquitous [...] as Microsoft 365" (345mm users worldwide) while bringing in 10x the number of users (3bn).

As it happens, I was trying to write another story altogether when I accidentally stumbled onto a scoop. Nobody else knew about this, and they agreed to let me be the first to report it before they went public. And thus did I do something I don't think I've ever properly done: I broke actual news.

Is this cheese grater conscious? Many users feel they're talking to a real person. Scientists say it's time to consider whether they're onto something.

there will be a lot of food discussions over the next few days but just remember one little trick to avoid shame: very, VERY, few of you are eating food worth arguing over or even sharing on the internet. dont get moms roasted online, thats not what the holidaze are about

hearing that Varoufakis had senioritis only makes me love him more

you're going to prison // there's a prison hospital

Looking ahead to Thanksgiving, I just think it's so funny we don't talk more about the one Pilgrim family of sociopaths that all the other Pilgrims all fucking hated. The Billingtons, baby! In my heart I know there's a TV show somewhere here.

The thing about the Rush Hour 4 news is that we get to see Chris Tucker do the funniest thing and also take a moral stance

It’s one of the most challenging parts of writing fiction: your characters can know things you don’t know, but they can’t know all the things you don’t know you don’t know.

Every American should have this in their wallet:

Noirvember starts to draw to a close with a look at Hitchcock's ROPE. I look at its historical background, where it adheres to and departs from noir tropes, and what it tells us about the notion of 'the perfect crime'. Exclusively on IMMORTAL SCIENCE! Check it out.

I’ve been running around asking tech execs and academics if language was the same as intelligence for over a year now - and, well, it isn’t. @benjaminjriley.bsky.social explains how the bubble is built on ignoring cutting-edge research into the science of thought www.theverge.com/ai-artificia...

A “You’ve Got Mail” remake set on Bandcamp Friday where Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are rival noise artists who accidentally buy each others’s tape because they both released under a new alias.

This is so incredible. You have to see the photos. These workers held the line for THREE YEARS www.publicsource.org/post-gazette...

Orson Welles parodies / pastiches have become fashionable on social media in the last 5 years but so few of them nail Welles's tone like Candy does here. It's not just pomposity or vocabulary.

“Can Jews Save the West?” is the most pick-me shit I’ve ever fucking seen, get a fucking ethos that’s not just riding white supremacy’s coattails you fucking losers.

Like, the very first rule of doing anything at all creative is *you have to give a fuck about it* Using genAI is proof you don't.

It's funny how this isn't identifiable as a Conservative Opinion but is absolutely the sort of thing that runs on conservative opinion pages. An even split between "the traffic is so bad now" and "Mr. Trump, please exterminate the brutes." A perfectly American intellectual movement in that sense.

underrated feature of old twitter was people with a decent following being able to bully brands into acting right

imagine having to hear shit like "study confirms giving diabetic children insulin reduces their death rates by 100%" as if that hasn't been known for like a hunred years. that's what being trans is like

I (m4000) operate a small business selling wishes to the locals, except their wishes are vain and short sighted and I don't want to grant them. My employee (F17) is angry b/c she needs to earn commissions to afford college. AITA? Get IF WISHES WERE RETAIL! tinyurl.com/35y58bu6

It's 1995. I'm in high school. Knowing how to search online is like a superpower. It's 2005. I'm in my first real job after college. Knowing how to search online is like a superpower. It's 2025. I'm in the longest job I've ever held. Knowing how to search online is like a superpower.

Benadryl dream: got stabbed in the eye by someone I cut ties with years ago (transphobe), then gloated that they were going to go to prison, but I wasn't sure if stabbing someone in a college dorm was a state or federal offense. I was googling it when I woke up.

impossible to describe how it felt in the mid-90s when "Possum Kingdom" was on the radio in good rotation, at work trying to mop up the glass/acid spill of a cartload of pickle boxes crashed on the floor while someone screams "Do you wanna die?" from a speaker cut into the drop ceiling.

No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts

Children's clothes are usually sized in an age range (e.g., 4/5), so my 6YO is wearing a lot of 6/7, and brother.

I went to get my kitchen knives sharpened and as I was unwrapping them I saw that they included a bandaid. “Oh that’s funny” I thought only to immediately cut myself five seconds later