well i for one couldn’t be more excited for the possibilities of AI. finally a technology that answers the age old question ‘what if clippy was wormtongue’

Fuck your ChatGPT, if I want to see a caricature of myself I will make the effort to go to the seaside and pay £15 for a cruel man to give me body dysmorphia like we’ve always done.

“I’ve reviewed over 50 sticky toffee puddings” is an incredibly powerful way to begin a video

Hate-filled fake videos about London are everywhere. We've obtained a recording of a TikToker confessing to secretly filming Londoners in their homes for clicks. He says it's not political. He just wants to make money from far-right anger. Read what he says: www.londoncentric.media/p/london-tik...

People say it's too hard to cook at home and I say maybe you just aren't trying hard enough

Molumbo

Right, I remember when we officially left the EU, it was the day before my 35th birthday, exactly six years ago and I assumed this was a vintage Express cover from 2020. No. This is today's. These cunts got EVERYTHING they want and they're STILL miserable because their insides are rotten.

Very good piece by @jburnmurdoch.ft.com.... The US under Trump 2.0 has shifted towards authoritarianism as record speed but unlike other examples (e.g. Putin, Orban) it's happened by bypassing institutions rather than permanently corrupting them... www.ft.com/content/b474...

Take his personal army away from him while you can, you stupid, stupid assholes. You’re like an armadillo playing dead in the middle of the road so the semi won’t hurt you

it is the same playbook everywhere. “vote for us! we will make you great again by punishing the people you hate! do not pay attention to the fact that we’re also shoveling your money into the pockets of the uber wealthy and building a giant boot to step on your face too (preferably forever)”

Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O'Hara: "People have had enough. This is the third shooting in less than 3 weeks. The MPD went the entire year last year recovering about 900 guns from the street, arresting hundreds of violent offenders, and we didn't shoot anyone ... this is not sustainable."

This season and the Celebrities prove it: this show is so much better with contestants who know it is a game. Should just lean into that IMO and have 22 contestants for 22 named charities, raise awareness for the charities throughout.

they want the people they see as an underclass to reject education, work for them until they drop dead, and have lots of children to perform the same labour

Once upon a time, to dominate one single country, a totalitarian regime needed propaganda and secret police. Now, Donald Trump dominates our every waking hour using nothing but his phone.

Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head https://theonion.com/health-speculations-swirl-as-trump-seen-with-damage-numbers-above-head/

GOP: We are sending armed perverts to assault families. Even babies. We are in open warfare against all things good. Schumer: People call him TACO, but these days it's getting hard to afford one! Can you chip in $5 today to help us hold Mr. Trump accountable for these soft shell economic policies?

I invented that thing where you lift a couple of fingers off the steering wheel to say thanks to someone when you're driving. Before that, you had to lean out of your window and give their car a little kiss

Please congratulate our chimp Bonzo. He recently completed our anger management program.

[sombrely, with tears in eyes] "truly the people of Iran embody the great spirit of Flumpo The Fart Wizard" - author of Flumpo The Fart Wizard

First of all, I didn’t “karate chop” your baby. We were sparring

This is like if Homer and Barney joined ICE. Look at these silly fucking dickheads.

“When I speak about making our city more affordable, my vision is not limited to the homes that we live in or the child care that we’re making universal — it’s also a vision where we make it possible for working people to afford lives of joy, of art, of rest, of expression.”

My whole life, advocating war has been fed to me as “the adult position,” akin to drinking your coffee black or reading the business section of the newspaper. Let’s be very clear — war is the childish nonsense of impulsive destructive idiots playing baby-brained video games with real human lives.

It's New Year, so time to look back and forward. These are 10 things I think we need to recognise in 2026. It’s a response to what I think are profoundly damaging mistaken assumptions I’ve heard and read from practitioners, journalists, and analysts in 2025. Warning: very long🧵

"He is arguing that democracy has been undermined not as much by a single individual, but by decades of policies that have led to an anemic government—one that has enriched those sitting atop the private sector and left everyone else treading water"

The most British post in existence

Me, every time I check the news:

I heard there was a secret meat With paprika, and spicy heat But you don't really care for sausage Nduja ...sorry, I can delete this. I've just seen a few posts in this format and I wanted in.

Never forget the time in 2020 Charlie Kirk (dead now) pretended to be a black guy on Twitter but forgot to switch accounts when giving himself a nice compliment.

—I’ve been asked to baptise the King of Spain’s daughter —Infanta? —No, holy water as usual. Weird thing to ask honestly

obviously not the major driver of his health concerns but it is very funny to read A Christmas Carol as an adult and realize that when tiny tim first says "God bless us, every one!" he's a severely malnourished child and they've given him a cup of hot gin

Get you a girl whose keening wail can be heard from across the bog, an omen of things to come

Trouble is, and no disrespect to the original poster, but international football is the pure form. No transfer fees, no plutocrats buying clubs as toys. We all saw Cameroon in 1990, Iceland at Euro 2016, I mean there’s a million examples. Lose that, you really are fucked. Good luck everyone!

“In the heat of the moment, you’ve got to make a decision, and sometimes that decision is imperfect,” said Hegseth

Person who actually deserves a trophy is the artist who made the FIFA peace prize trophy look like everyone in the entire world holding their head in their hands out of secondhand embarrassment

The most important line in a solid piece by @iandunt.bsky.social "And yet for all its flaws, Bluesky offers something which is becoming vanishingly rare in the modern world: a vision of life without the algorithm. What I see is what I have chosen to see. We own our own destiny on Bluesky."

has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane

🚨Some personal news. I'm thrilled to announce that I've just filed my first copy for The New Yorker. A profile of Jonathan Gullis. "You get the sense that offstage, Jonathan Gullis struggles with being Jonathan Gullis." open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...

if you've never heard the end credits song for Aliens Infestation on the Nintendo DS I beg you to stop and listen right now it's important

I've never directly called Farage a prick but I can assure you I think he's a prick www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Back when we had a something like mainstream culture, with limited media options, it was possible for things to *matter*. Like, Nirvana & the onset of grunge really *mattered* -- everyone knew & cared & talked about it. These days, everything is happening, all the time, but nothing really matters.

The Starmer re-elect is dead. The souffle does not rise twice, the prime minister does not come back from that kind of approval rating, or indeed the level of hatred he inspires in the country now.

obviously not a good farmer. cow is very small

Found the tweet that Joyce Carol Oates bodied Elon Musk with and it's so beautiful in its eloquent, simple take down. So much so he's crashing out trying to prove he reads books now. Put this in the Louvre.

Study Finds Exercise May Help Alzheimer’s Patients Look Hot https://theonion.com/study-finds-exercise-may-help-alzheimer-s-patients-look-1850616422/