PRE CREDITS MINOR VILLAIN (as alarms blare and muffled explosions go off in the depths of his HQ): James Bond? But he’s dead! JAMES BOND (stepping from behind a curtain and shooting him through the ear): Don’t believe everything you ‘ear *OPENING TITLES*

have a day off so might try to get good at Noita *I am exploded forty times in a row*

good piece

Ian Fleming killed off James Bond at the end of the fifth novel, From Russia With Love, and then starts the next one with “Phew, that last case was a bit much, I had to spend a few days in bed, anyway back to work…”

seems like a possible response to being threatened by Trump with a massive lawsuit is ‘go shit in your hat’ and everyone else who folds experiences bad outcomes

PS the more I think about it, the more I think Craig’s Bond was essentially in love with death. His self-loathing and his alienation shift Bond’s devil-may-care daring to a kind of existential indifference. His longing for a judgement can only be delivered in his extinction.

Killing off Bond at the end of No Time To Die, which is IMHO up there with the best Bond movies, I loved it, was actually a cool thing to do and if you want to make another Bond you can just ignore it like 80% of the other on-screen continuity

It’s ok boss I put the notes on our criminal conspiracy in whitetext

could they could they really

Joyce Carol Oates owned Elon so hard he's spent the last day posting about movies he hasn't seen in 15 years

"Hello, yes? Yes, it is an emergency. I've accidentally..."

oh there’s a floor

I’m not really going to bother reading anything about it but I assume the BBC kerfuffle is because even though they were stuffed to the gills with Tory placemen this did not actually bend reality such that on the BBC the world looks the way Twitter-poisoned culture war loons see it

god there’s a whole trend of this bullshit!

Oh fuck off

Bernese Dog guard of honour!

if you’re on insta this four panel cartoon by Tor Freeman just made me cackle very loudly

quelle surprise!

@fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social ever since I woke up this morning my brain has had a very important message that it keeps repeating to me and it’s A ROAST IN A BEEF

Pedro Porro is Portuguese for Peter Truncheon

embarrassing!

looks like *someone* forgot about 'bray

BEEP! Hi there, looks like you're not working on that spreadsheet! Just to remind you, you're scheduled to complete those sales figures by two thirty today! Would you like me to open the spreadsheet for you, or go over today's work schedule once again? Hey, it sounded like you told me to go fuck mys

this fuckin’ guy, who did really straightforward frauds, is going to get sprung from jail, isn’t he, because we live in Scam World now

SANDWICH GUY AVOIDS TOASTER

Autocorrect got me good today. Changed "Thanks so much" to "thanks slick" in a work email, so now people think I talk like Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive.

Fifteen years later!

I saw a preview and honestly, the Paddington musical was pretty weak. It was just a bunch of performers reenacting scenes from my childhood and adult life. All Paddington did was stand at the edge of the stage looking at something on some scales next to a feather?

exploding sandwiches are explicitly banned under the Jambon-Beurre Convention

this is apparently real and an adult man said this in court

Michael Caine sitting alone at a sunny terrace restaurant in Italy, sipping his espresso and grieving for his friend Dick Cheney. Looking up, he is amazed to see Cheney alive, well and happy at the next table, and Cheney nods to him in acknowledgment, and then immediately shoots him in the face

___ |📐| | | | | | | |___| |🙄| |🗑️|

Frame this and hang it in the oh wait

Currently obsessed with a local shelter cat called “Colin Feral”

see, THIS is ‘doing politics the right way’

Picard: there ARE FOUR GUYS! FOUR

I guess it’s inevitable but if I were 53-year old distinguished multiple award-winning novelist and comic book writer Joe Hill, who has gone to some pains not to trade on his dad’s name throughout his career, I would be pretty tired of this

As funny as this post is, the best part is that it was clearly written with ChatGPT. Our FBI director is a massive fucking dipshit. We are not good on OPSEC.

Yes. But also, I would like to see this series. An extra season of Succession, even

Philip K. Dick gets it right again. Let's hear it for the vague blurs!

Daylight Saving Time is increasingly hard to notice when my digital devices are like, "What? Nothing happened. We know what time it is." And my stove is left blinking and screaming, "IT HAPPENED! TIME SHIFTED UNNATURALLY! THEY'RE ALL LYING! ONLY I KNOW! ONLY I REMEMBER!"

what’s the worst song to have stuck in your head all day and why is it Cotton Eye Joe

Montage of Jackson Lamb quips gradually evolving from a wry "Well I think you're getting ahead of yourself!" as he decapitates a villain in their own helicopter blades to a simple "Well that's you fucked!" after shooting a guy in the balls.

The only problem with YAJL I can find is that there's a reasonable argument that Lamb is just what late career Bond looks like. A great agent who ignores or actively works against his superiors while nurturing a massive alcohol addiction? What does that look like by the time you're pushing 70?

I can get from me to Trump in three

hey, with the 'dislikes' button stuff, I have been assuming that these are not public, like every-flipping-thing else on Bluesky? Like, it's just a private signal to the algorithm that ranks replies or whatever? Or have I got it wrong and it's very very dumb instead of just dumb?

do you remember when the US President didn’t spend all day tweeting ‘stop me before I kill again’

it’s incredible that people are saying it’s the worst song ever recorded when recently Ben Shapiro dropped some rap verses. This must be truly horrific