😙👌 😗💨🫶 😉 🫶 🤍

Did he call me "unserious"? Hold my beer hat

Let's go through my meal prep for the week [my balls are completely exposed]

When I was a kid, I didn't know that "I've got to see a shrink" was 90s slang for going to therapy and thought it was something occult I just assumed all these characters on TV whenever they got stressed were going to some kind of paranormal entity to solve their problems with magic in an alleyway

a hug from your therapist is called a shrinkwrap

gripping the steering wheel of life

Tbf, if a rat crawled under my hat and started controlling me, I wouldn’t even care. Take the wheel, rat daddy

death is proof good things happen to bad people

orse accident

Who called it buttfucking and not poundcake?

new relationships: oh dear oh man oh dear I hope I don't say something awkward and ruin this relatioships, year 19: go back to bed dipshit

bart simpson supports the people's princess, luigi mangione. 💖

I just saw a Cybertruck with a "Baby on Board" sticker and thought that was very self-aware of the owner.

how much does it cost to have godzilla stomp on you does anyone know

living on the edge is sexting with 5% phone battery

Someone asking to share my snacks has real invasive species energy.

Back on my blerrshit

I just want to be a gay cat and smoke weed. Don't blame me for all the societal issues

on my knees screaming, crying, begggging someone 2 fund my life so i don’t have to work anymore

will do! (never does)

this post is dedicated to all of the people who wasted their lives during the reading of this post

wine friend butt you know what that means 😏

Who up frenchin' their onion soup

my doctor said its bad to hold my pee but its my secret to soft hands

TIP: If im crying try shoving a burrito in my mouth.

guards! They've invented donuts again

This has been a great year for people who love being angry

I am proof that not having any screen time as a child does not help anything

#meme #shitpost

Acting normal is a lot of pressure.

Let not fear rule you, instead drink beer and watch Hulu

i always wait until mid second to open my microwave so it doesnt think im desperate

emerging nude from a large glowing orb next to a denny’s dumpster

i thought luigi mangione was going on tour

it all comes back to you or maybe it comes all over your back

11:11 blaze it

God forbid a girl says something out of the ordinary

i’m scared because one time something happened

sleepy lil goth baby 🌙

If you’re reading this I’m vorny. … … … If you’re reading THIS then I’m eating you and your loved one~.

im destined for greatness oh wait no it says gayness