This feels very relevant... Private Eye claims that Andrew MW recently brought in a shredding company to Royal Lodge

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

I’m just so HAPPY

"why are you against progress" I yell confidently as my sloppily-implemented algorithms prematurely murder your grandma

'we are thrilled and proud to announce we have created marvin the paranoid android from douglas adam's famous novel, "don't create marvin, the paranoid android"'

2026 basically

OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS

Bookseller Scrambles To Hide All The Classics After Seeing Emerald Fennell Approaching Door https://theonion.com/bookseller-scrambles-to-hide-all-the-classics-after-seeing-emerald-fennell-approaching-door/

A lot of the problems with AI is due to humans anthropomorphising it. If you wrote a column in the Telegraph or the NYT called “I was shunned by my Soda-Stream” most would assume you’re unwell or Adrian Chiles had left the Guardian.

Hacker is one of the UK’s funniest comedians and I will die on this hill

Hey, it makes a lot of sense that you would be worried about icebergs on this vessel's maiden voyage — I get it. I just double-checked the charts and this route is definitely iceberg free. But even if it wasn't, remember that the Titanic isn't just a boat; it's a modern, unsinkable cruise ship.

can you imagine how fucking annoying it would be to be the like. 12th best person in the world at ski jumping. like you can’t STOP going to the competitions right? but you’re going to get 12th. your mom flew there

Shanine Salmon joins me for a chat about Habbo Hotel, Renegade, Married For Life, Blouse And Skirt, Night And Day, Neopets and more... timworthington.org/2021/03/08/l...

This is probably ok

Wow #theskating

can we just redo the entire final men’s skating group except for misha

i will not be watching the new wuthering heights but i will be enjoying every single meme about it

Me at 20: I’ll have it all figured out by the time I’m 40. Me at 40: wtf do you mean they rearranged the grocery store

Happy Meldrew Point Day, Victoria Coren Mitchell! Today you are 19,537 days old and have reached your Meldrew Point - the age of Richard Wilson on the day One Foot In The Grave was first aired on Jan 4, 1990. I don’t believe it!

Sometimes when I'm bored I text a bunch of family members " I hope you're sitting down" then turn off my phone

wow is it possible for seven people to all be wrong about something? www.axios.com/2025/09/02/a...

always so funny to me when people are like “how am I supposed to explain Gay to my kids?” my kid asks me way harder shit all the time. “why did they build the road this way? why are some people bad?” I don’t know. please ask me about Gay

Downward-Punching Dog

Monday

Love waking up after the Super Bowl to viral posts which make zero sense

i'm baffled by all the people in the replies to posts about the spy doorbells asking for alternatives. like... the alternative is a regualr fucking doorbell with no camera in it. or a door knocker. get you a weird gargoyle guy! you dont need a camera!

Never Forget

Concentration camps: “For 280 days we haven’t eaten a single piece of fruit, banana, apple, orange, or anything fresh. We are all in one big room with no doors or windows. We can’t see any grass or trees. We are all constantly sick."

Any time I look to see what the Labour government is up to in the UK it turns out to be things like making posters that Alfonso Cuarón put in the background of the long tracking shot that opens “Children of Men”.

Hard not to read this to the tune of “Public Enemy #1 in NY” etc from the end of Harder Than You Think

I do like the way the expression on his face is that of a man who you've just walked in on doing something unspeakable

genx parting gift

@chartlifepod.bsky.social where has this Donna Giles song been all my life?! Why do they use the same font from the 90s board game Party Mania? Why isn’t it 1996 any more?! TAKE ME BACK 🚨

We gotta come up with a better system than “everything rests on whether these twelve billionnaires are nice”

*need*

BREAKING: Viewers of “Melania” Documentary Receive Call Telling Them They Will Die in 7 Days

“We are closing all bookshops and only having libraries. Sometimes the library will burn the books you like, close down without warning, pivot to arms manufacture or host fascist rallies while you browse. Enjoy your choice.”

I work with a real jerk, can't stand him, don't even think he knows my name. Today he's suddenly the nicest guy here. Knows my name, knows everyone's name. He's playing the piano. Just saw him surprise a young couple with wrestlemania tickets.

Me every morning in this fucking country

Has anyone listened to Wisecrack? I have THOUGHTS

And another thing. It is REALLY tedious to open a news page every day and see photograph after photograph of the same worst possible humans gurning back at me. It's like a wanker's yearbook.

Happy Meldrew Point Day, Geri Halliwell! Today you are 19,537 days old and have reached your Meldrew Point - the age of Richard Wilson on the day One Foot In The Grave was first aired on Jan 4, 1990. I don’t believe it!