I'm on a mini news break, and was hoping to wait till I am done traveling on Wednesday to catch up. Except I'm in Portland, and I saw headlines. 🤬 Do I need to crawl out from under my rock early?

giving my gender away to one lucky follower

YouTube started suggesting autism self-diagnosis videos when I was listening to Steely Dan deep cuts smh

I'm sad that there's not a place called Chunk's Ice Cream in Astoria, that serves flavors like Chocolate Eruption, Grape, and Super Duper Chocolate Eruption. Such a place really should exist. #TheGoonies

The Goonies gets better every time I watch it.

near-death experience but with ads

My Saturday plans. #TheGoonies #NeverSayDie

those are my emotional support domain names that i’ve never used

That’s an unforgiving font.

My hiphop name would be Notorious FML.

people always coming up with popular new words but never popular new numbers, the fuck

My friend that I'm visiting in Portland (OR, not ME) was telling me tonight how scary the wild life is here. 🐇😱

Never piss off a Sunflower

Game over. My Baby 🐻 just explained what a labubu is. Pretty sure I have an idea now. None of my previous impressions based on random bits I've picked up seem to be applicable. 🤷‍♂️

1st base: sex 2nd base: kissing 3rd base: holding hands scoring: eye contact

third base is me able to maintain eye contact in a normal way and not overthink it

So have my joints. Raptured away in a series of small fire's

All my Doritos have been raptured.

i muted the word rapture and most of my timeline disappeared, which is a sort of rapture in and of itself

Use Alt Text. Just do it.

I don't have enough energy to be as angry as the situation requires.

I spent so much time trying to learn to take good notes, as a kid. I can either write down (almost) everything I hear, or I can understand what I just heard. Not both. Oddly, I am fairly good at both when my medium switches from hand written to typed notes.

[20 yrs after high school] what if i got really good at taking hand written notes

Fucking hell! It dropped 30 degrees!!! I went from a low of 74, to a low of 39! 😭😭😭 I thought I was just having my normal temp issues when I was freezing this evening! 🥶 I had the AC set to 82, and even got up and took a warm shower, before I realized. Just turned the unit to heat. ⏳🔥

I love the desk clerk at this motel so much!!! I rolled out 6 +hours later than intended today, so I didn't get here till midnight. As I checked in, I asked about the pool. She gave me the hours, and then told me that as long as I didn't have kids, I could go in tonight. 🏊‍♂️

Trying to lick yogurt from a cup because you have no spoon is not nearly as much fun as trying to lick ice cream out of the container. It is far less messy, though. I didn't even need a shower after.

Them: Omg I haven’t seen you in what, two years Me: Yeah I’ve been washing the price tags off the bowls I got at Home Sense

No disappointment like realizing 1) you misheard a song's lyrics and 2) you liked your version better

Sorry, I'm now told that Baby Yoda is being forced to donate to Turning Point USA and that in the place of this movie they will now air two-hour pyrotechnics-laden memorial for Hero of the Empire, Orson Krennic

if you’re self-hosting a pds you get to take your posts with you during the rapture

what an incredibly kind feature from @theguardian.com thank you to writer @caitlinwelsh.bsky.social i appreciate these thoughtful words about the tingleverse www.theguardian.com/culture/2025...

Your Cherokee words for today. The top word is English followed by how it is written in the Cherokee language followed by how it is spelled in English then how to pronounce it phonetically. Gay people are people. Gay rights are human rights.

Male Andean Cocks-of-the-Rock hanging out a lek. Males show up in groups and like to show off for the ladies. These birds can be found in the cloud forests of the Andes Mountains. Nono, Ecuador, 2023 🪶

i just want someone to groan old with

As CNN offers daylong saturation coverage of the podcaster’s funeral, I went back and checked to see how CNN covered Melissa Hortman’s memorial on 6/28, where Walz spoke and Biden/Harris attended. It got about four minutes during the hours it was happening—less than Jeff Bezos’s wedding that day.

sittin on the dock of the bay

I'm weirder than AI art, so there's that.

My weed dispensary emails are all like: Need a joint for the game? and then Need a joint after that game? Gotta love Vegas! 💨🤣

its me

We really can’t understate the psychic toll of knowing that the United States government is trying to kill as many people as possible

i am terrified of flying (this is why most of my horror novels have some kind of plane element) and one of my favorite things is seeing a baby on a plane im on. somehow this makes me think 'okay this plane is safe we got babies' i know this is factually inaccurate but i LOVE crying babies on planes

Me + my comfort movie 💛

Me + my comfort movie💚

ME: sorry, I’m ticklish NAIL TECH WITH A BLOODY RAG TO HER NOSE:

Her: You know you can go IN the store and look. Me: I know, but then they'll want to sell to me, & I don't handle rejecting people well.

Squeeze pouches of guacamole are a wonderful invention.

bug life 😊🥹🖤🌻

sippin the zinni

Yoooo we should build a barrow mound in a park the size of nyc's central park,