randomly thinking about how when i went to seattle all i was thinking about was one liners for if i got molested by TSA because i wanted to be prepared

Me when I get top surgery

Greta Thunberg is being tortured in Israeli captivity, as revealed by fellow activists: “They dragged little Greta by her hair before our eyes, beat her, and forced her to kiss the Israeli flag. They did everything imaginable to her, as a warning to others”

yeah computers can talk. its called techno. get with the times faggot

Does the process know that we are trusting it?

look ai is completely destroying the world with massive pollution and is using up water at a concerning rate but at least you get to use technology that lies to you and is the primary propaganda mechanism by fascists

gonna respond to my next "a bluesky account you control..." email with "WAFFLES" and see if it gets me instant reinstatement since it's apparently a context-agnostic "get out of jail free" card

None of us should feel exempt or invulnerable, because if they can do this to our neighbors, they can come for us, too. That said, those of us who are not presently among those being targeted should not focus on our own fear and vulnerability. We should support those in the immediate path of harm.

George Clooney not really a factor in 2025, guess he was like "peace out"

basically. if u want to be cool with the dolls. u are going to have to make decisions that are political. that might get you in trouble. theres no way to be cool with the dolls and also perpetuate the status quo

No matter how bad it gets, there’s a potato out there that will fix it.

Twitter I scroll on my phone. Bluesky I peruse on the computer.

Jaws, 1976 *camera at a town meeting cuts to Robert Shaw gnawing on a jerkied grizzly bear penis We’re gonna kill that fuckin shark.

guys I know every one of you wants to act out this specific tweet to the letter but one of the non-negotiable things about being a catholic is that the pope is the real pope

"What you fail to see Mr. Pope" is truly the most incredible assemblage of words I have seen coming out of X, the Everything App, in quite some time.

imagine getting mad because you hear a different language i mean IMAGINE

YODA: circumcised are you ME: That's a private matter, Yoda. YODA: absent of skin a jedi must be ME: Not interested. Go away, Yoda. YODA: take off your shorts you must YODA: show it to me you will YODA: going where are you YODA: your penis I must see YODA: cut your long pink pipe must be YODA: mmMm

stop trying to gerrymander Asstown

Thanks for having more problems than me. I feel better already.

Fascinated by how the people who lost their minds over student loan forgiveness are currently running ads on my TV every 10 min promising that they'll forgive your student loans if you join ICE

CEO: we're all trying to improve this place You: so you're gonna kick out the guy who keeps trying to kill me, right CEO: You: You're gonna kick out the guy who has literally helped kiwifarms target me personally, right CEO: WAFFLES

so it seems the big deal comedians had with "cancel culture" is that we plebes didn't pay them to shut up

Surreal moment for America. Needless to say, if the normal police ever pulled something like this — pulling every single person out of an apartment building and handcuffing them to run warrant checks — they would be sued into oblivion. Yet ICE is going to get away with it entirely.

WHAT YOU FAIL TO SEE MR POPE

Forgive me for being a day late with these

are you a good bitch or a bad bitch

Listening to an entire Trump speech feels like being awake during surgery.

Deeply disappointed to hear that the Israeli Navy illegally stopped the Global Sumud Flotilla 75 miles off the coast of Gaza. This was a non-violent mission to break the IDF’s horrifying siege and deliver food and medicine to those who need it most.

That there was more media coverage of and outrage over a certain discourse a couple of weeks ago than there is about ICE agents rappelling from a Blackhawk helicopter onto a Chicago apartment building says everything. Children were ziptied to each other. Barely a peep

I will delete my posts and leave your replies orphaned idgaf

Nothing makes you feel cooler than rolling a suitcase 9 blocks down a cobblestone street at 8 am

i'm not saying there weren't real problems in '08-'14 but one of the reasons i think bluesky doesn't feel like early twitter is that there aren't fake scandals like obama's tan suit to make fun of

the mods of this place will strangle it to death trying to avoid it having the reputation it already has and unavoidably will always have

HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS: SLUTTY TECH SUPPORT REP SLUTTY SKELETON SLUTTY TARGET LADY SLUTTY GREMLIN SLUTTY CASHIER SLUTTY CIVIL WAR NURSE

Charli xcx in 2024, explaining her songs that explore the feelings of insecurity and jealousy that arise as a woman in music who fans and the press constantly compare to other women Taylor Swift: and I took that personally

This is so petty and pathetic and weird

Full video since YouTube removed it

If you, like me, are the parent of a neuro-atypical child dreading this autism press conference, please remember: These are the people hurting our kids. Not us. They are the ones stigmatizing and pathologizing them. They are the ones peddling untested science. And we should be very, very angry.

As America's most pro-business leader in a generation, I will choose one company each week and accuse them of witchcraft

Happy September 21st to those that celebrate!!! 😃 💃🏾🕺🏾

Bearing a cross on wheels is a great metaphor for Christian oppression

Strange, the bully is kicking my ass even though I've been telling everyone how much I respect him. Maybe he hasn't heard

Yelling "Hey wait for me!" In public. To no one. Just to feel included.

Is it bad that I kinda wish the rapture these people want would come so that the rest of us could be left in peace? Cause they’ve already created an apocalyptic hellscape and put us into climate collapse so if those who think they’re getting scooped up dip, the rest of us and the earth can heal.

protip if you think you’re neurodivergent and don’t have a formal diagnosis keep that shit to yourself

Gotta say I’m not a big fan of 2 Jim Crow 2 Furious

Honestly if the right wingers think this is as bad as we get they should kill another even more prominent member of their ranks