“you have four new followers on threads” my brother in christ I have not been on that app since the day I downloaded signed up and immediately deleted it

top tip add custard powder to your vanilla sponge cakes

only have a few episodes left of my outlander rewatch until the new series comes out so I’m going to need another ridiculous historically inaccurate swashbuckling program with gratuitous shagging, epic landscapes and large muscular men to watch instead

found elsewhere and snorted

robert jenrick being such a barefaced fascist in public makes me wonder what he says behind closed doors

The piss tank on the ISS is now 46% full.

pissing off bigots is my favourite hobby

Abigail Ball Tucker Massachusetts, Births and Christenings, 1639-1915

Big Naturals with David Attenborough

made tolma (georgian stuffed cabbage rolls) with beef mince onion grated carrot garlic herbs and spices as the filling then baked in a tomato sour cream and parsley sauce then I added cheese (not traditional) because cheese makes everything better

bro are you really calling me on the phone right now? not cool bro. i use that phone for posting. it's got my bangers in it. you're gonna sully its virtue bro.

The piss tank on the ISS is now 22% full.

biscuits though

schrödinger’s paddington - he’s either putting it up or taking it down depending on how racist you are

lot of criticism for stephen miller but not one of you has had a moment of consideration for the ancient necromancer who enchanted his musty corpse and works so hard to contain the malevolence within

Knickers at half mast today everyone, for Jilly Cooper x

jesus christ I’ve had a Morning. I need a ridiculously overpriced coffee and or 30-60 minutes of c**********

The piss tank on the ISS is now 32% full.

few things: graham norton is so good at what he does, jodie turner smith is so beautiful I can’t look directly at her and also I fancy domhnall gleeson. as you were

the naanwich was a success

erm did you know if you have location services turned on on instagram it shows your exact location to everyone on a map so check that if you’re bothered or don’t x

For the longest time, I thought findom was a mermaid kink

Just invented a new app to help you deal with annoying coworkers. It's not so much an app as it is a toaster on a bike chain that you swing around your head

Microsoft shoved their AI Copilot into everything in Windows 11. Which lead to an increase in Windows 10 use. So they announced they'd stop support for Windows 10, but its usage was still strong. So they started to put Copilot into Windows 10. Windows 7 use is surging 5x now. AI is product poison.

there are two almost identically sized naan left over from curry night which means one thing: naanwich

Nice titmouse. Tufted?

a spokesman for BrewDog said 'this is the one thing we didn't want to happen'

slightly ominous mailer from the Red Cross

Today my mate told me that she spent years thinking that smh meant “shag my hole” and I nearly crashed the car. After consideration, I prefer her version can’t lie

There was also the brilliant Partridge commentary too from On The Hour: “Oxford and Cambridge are in the lead.. but where are the others? They’re nowhere to be seen!“

What a website

“Great Flans”

british wife: good mornin love british husband: a rat stole me weetabix

Accidentally thought too long about how small my dog is and got emotional

I’d rather shit in my own hands and clap.

truth coming out of her well to shame mankind

Strange name for a dog

Can't believe the man who said he would 'don khaki and pick up a rifle' for Brexit is shitting himself over hurty words from Keir Starmer.

i do think it’s funny all those career military guys flew there to be called fat cucks who are too woke

A little nervous you guys, she told me the safeword is worcestershire

Does anyone know how to relax

I’m gonna start saying that greenhouse gasses are gay and woke

confident that if they could, cats would smoke cigarettes

October

New! Cassetteboy vs Keir Starmer. This took absolutely ages, so if you'd like to buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/cassetteboy we'd really appreciate it. Thanks!