You can't joke about anything anymore. Because you signed a multi figure contract with the Saudi government that said they wouldn't pay you if you did.

Now this is Content

Having been inspired here I have now twice approached men watching their phones on full volume in public, asking them what it is they're watching. The first actually said "Oh I'm sorry, I actually get annoyed by people doing his too" and turned the volume down. The second, obviously embarrassed,

Some amazing gay history. Listen up kids.

The next time Jimmy Carr harps on about free speech he should never be allowed to forget that, in order to co-headline (?) with Louis CK in the big comedy wash, he had to sign a contract promising to be mega-woke for Saudi Arabia. deadline.com/2025/09/atsu...

Dating someone who makes me laugh < Dating someone who laughs at my jokes NEW blog: www.girlonthenet.com/blog/good-se... Fabulous art by @stuartcb.bsky.social ❤️

Sometimes the Fesshole people make my blood run cold.

What's your sign?

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You are not as good.

Hehehe tits.

May we all meet this partner... 🥵🔥🔥🔥 Incredibly hot.

"Do you presume to question my competence Ms. Xavier? No? Good." Stunning guest blog by Sasha, from this time last year... #medical #kink

"I didn’t set out to shag him, and I don’t think he intended to fuck me either. But it happened, we are where we are. "Might as well fucking enjoy it." NEW #AudioPorn! You know what it's like when someone knows *exactly* how to fuck you? www.girlonthenet.com/blog/man-kno... #NSFW #Sex #erotica

Morning walk

as a fan of noncon, dubcon and under/non-negotiated cnc this is honestly one of the most straightforward explanations of this i've ever read?

The optimal size is 12, because it divides neatly into 2,3,4, and 6 for all of your partner distribution needs.

Helps with railcard purchases too.

Anyway. Who fancies a game of ‘where is GOTN? (Theme Park edition)’?

I’m not polyamorous so I probably don’t get an opinion on this but fwiw I believe your polycule should always contain an even number of people so that you can do group trips to the theme park and everyone has someone to sit next to on the rollercoaster.

"This man fucked me like he meant it. And oh God, put me out of my misery now please: if this man turns out not to mean it, I will shatter." This time in '22. www.girlonthenet.com/blog/last-ni... Don't skip ahead if you wanna preserve the illusion of this man.

She murmurs, ‘It’s really rude how you haven’t kissed me yet.’ HOT guest blog from this time in '22 by Clara Dunn... [Link contains smut]

" You’re rough with me, your pleasure station, and saliva begins to run down my chin." NEW #AudioPorn for Patreons - the hot next part in @gdwsundial.bsky.social's Sunday series, with stunning new art by @stuartcb.bsky.social too! www.patreon.com/posts/sunday...

This time last year I got extremely melty about men in fishnets... And @stuartcb.bsky.social drew the HOTTEST picture omg

Sometimes I wonder if people understand the intimacy of punishment.

bond girls but they’re also muppets: thread

This is gross, for sure, but I took it. I held my mouth open and I accepted this trash you wanted to fling into me. I swallowed it too, didn’t I? How degrading. How slutty. How good.

Another reason to love Mamdani just dropped.

I hope the rapture isn't on Tuesday, I have a wine festival to go to next weekend

Sex as a disabled trans person helped me forget gendered expectations 👇 https://www.wearequeeraf.com/sex-as-a-disabled-trans-person-helped-me-forget-gendered-expectations/

Instead of an account blackout to protest BlueSky’s anti-sex T’s and Cs update, how about you share content from adult creators whose work you love? We’re drowning. It’s not just me, I don’t know anyone who produces adult content who is doing well right now.

NOTHING, like NOTHING in this world feels like typing FIN on a manuscript you've been working on for 5 years. OMG yes, most folk type the End but give me my moment 😜 #writerlife #theend #messywoman #fiction #bestseller

Also the OST remains a banger - Trellis/Jonathan Whitehead (who also did the Black Books theme) has sadly passed away now but what a legacy. open.spotify.com/album/6zhWhC...

Rare example of a blog post where I started writing about one hot thing then realised something else was even hotter. NEW blog: spit in my mouth (and elsewhere) www.girlonthenet.com/blog/spit-in... Stunning art by @stuartcb.bsky.social . I love her thighs ❤️

"I see you there, fully clothed, sitting with one leg propped on another, and I can’t help myself; what’s underneath?" Stunning #AudioPorn by @robyneats.bsky.social from this time in '22 www.girlonthenet.com/blog/please-...

Craving this rn www.girlonthenet.com/blog/good-gi...

Just realised I accidentally quote tweeted a person not a screenshot and now I’m worried I might have upset the person. Sorry.

A glory hole for compliments

if you don't like The Offspring then maybe you should have hired a different funeral stripper

Still love the pun in the trolleycar's destination!

"Maybe ‘catch’ isn’t such a terrible word for feelings after all: perhaps these warm, affectionate infections are actually a bit like the Red Dwarf luck virus." This time in '22... catching feelings www.girlonthenet.com/blog/how-do-...

"Outline 3 issues/events in the past 12 months that you would like to discuss" what if I don't want to discuss any events

"Maybe next time I’ll ask if two sitters can come over. Particularly if he’s being a handful and I know needs to be energetically enjoyed." Fabulous new #AudioPorn by @focusedandfilthy.bsky.social about inviting women to come sit on her husband 🫠 www.girlonthenet.com/blog/husband...

"Have you ever been really *really* fucked?" Filthy-hot #AudioPorn from this time last year by @charlottebayes.bsky.social#AudioPorn😍

#Gaza is not just facing a humanitarian catastrophe. It is facing the systematic destruction of a people. Doctors in Gaza know they cannot stop a genocide. But world leaders can, if they choose to act: www.doctorswithoutborders.ca/palestine-do...

This Week's Onion Magazine:

Oh no I forgot to put up my fairy lights.

“The Onion stands at the ready to act as a mouthpiece of the world’s elite, using its distinguished reportage to parrot whatever the party line happens to be. Genocide, eugenics, incest—no topic is too taboo to find support in our paper so long as it has been approved by a trustworthy establishment”

"I decided to ask a very sexy woman if she’d like to come to our AirBnB and husband sit for me. Keep him entertained sexually while I was busy." NEW #AudioPorn! @focusedandfilthy.bsky.social introduces us to the wildly hot concept of 'husband sitting' www.girlonthenet.com/blog/husband...

I attended a baby horned lizard release this morning for a story! What a delight. (More on this at some point.)