Every time you tell me about your star sign or your fantasy football team I'm playing GIFs of Susie Myerson in my head

Just sacked my therapist lads, so we're returning to the pizza & Star Trek self-care method that's served me so well in the past.

Well, this is very kind. Also, very pleased by pooch fan mail

I would probably be a banana split. Not really one thing, but hopefully fun enough to enjoy.

Been watching BoJack Horseman, which is quite a good portrayal of how dumb and self destructive men are.

Oof. Always reluctant to answer such personal questions. Keep an eye on @writteninkink.bsky.social for fictional translations of things which may or may not have happened.

Both me, and my teenage bullied self, may need some convincing.

Red stripe down the middle. We call it the Freddie Ljungberg

Peanut butter blend, or an oatmeal cookie deal.

Guys, I got drunk. Ask me anything. Let's chat.

You say that you're no good with words. That you can't find the right ones to reassure me. But moaning as we kiss is reassurance. Bucking your hips against my hand is reassurance. Burying your face in my arsehole is reassurance. Sleeping on my chest is reassurance. You don't need words.

Whisky might not be the wisest idea but it's the only one I've got

Must admit, I'm really struggling Ladz. All my flaws feel stacked up like a mountain, my self loathing inner voice is yodeling from the top of that mountain, the nice things people say to me are lost in the wind, and to make matters worse, I'm stuck in this bad metaphor.

You say that you're no good with words. That you can't find the right ones to reassure me. But moaning as we kiss is reassurance. Bucking your hips against my hand is reassurance. Burying your face in my arsehole is reassurance. Sleeping on my chest is reassurance. You don't need words.

Jesus Christ this is superb.

The main thing I've learned in the last 12 months is that I look hot in eye make up.

Got up and did a 3K run this morning, even though no one was chasing me and even though Jennifer Garner wasn't waiting at the end with a towel and a beer.

Someone followed the Notional Guard around DC playing the Imperial March from Star Wars.

It ain't always easy to write consent into a piece of ravishment #erotica, but this #AudioPorn by @jmseaborn.bsky.social is, I think, a really excellent example of how to do it... www.girlonthenet.com/blog/wishlis...

It's not normal to feel this much dread to return to work after a week off. Either I have to change the way I deal with this job, or I have to change the job.

Brexit has damaged your life far more than immigrants or trans people ever will.

I fear the direction the UK seems to be heading in

They always know.

Everyone should know that @girlonthenet.bsky.social is excellent at giving DIY advice and yes, there were just as many double entendres as you might expect from two sex writers talking about drilling, screwing, nailing and of course, length Vs girth.

From earlier

TW: Suicide discussion. Today is National Suicide Prevention day. l'd like to re-write a short thread I've written before. And with it, share a picture. A picture that means more to me than any other physical object.

TW: Suicide discussion. Today is National Suicide Prevention day. l'd like to re-write a short thread I've written before. And with it, share a picture. A picture that means more to me than any other physical object.

This is a pretty great city

"He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it." A line written for a movie thirty years ago. Absolutely applicable today for people like Nigel fucking Farage.

I like Strange New Worlds, but I wish it would stop breaking canon like it doesn't matter,nand then try to fix it like it does matter, but with a fix that only makes the canon issues worse. Reminds me of Smallville's Jimmy Olson.

Whisky

I shaved my head. Fear me.

“Good boy Daddy” is my f a v o u r i t e. The way the phrase brings a powerful (in so many senses of the word) man to a blushing mess who is adorably basking in *MY* praise for once. Delightful. Especially as an ending here.

LinkedIn used to be people posting job updates and pushing professional services. Now it's 55 year old men calling Keir Starmer Hannibal Lecter and posting cringe memes of Nigel Farage.

I haven't shaved my head for two weeks and I've spent hours squinting and swearing while trying to solve an AV challenge with my smart TV which couldn't matter less. My mental health is fine thanks.

BRB, going to show how defiant I am and how rebellious I am by eating at McDonalds, listening to Coldplay, using an iPhone and hanging a St. George's flag in England.

Why am I suddenly being followed by corporate investment accounts

CW: CNC You wake up feeling sore. Your thighs hurt. Your scalp aches. Your nipples feel raw & sensitive. You're lying on your front but you don't sleep on your front... Your thighs hurt. No, they ache. The light though the curtains is dim. It's early. You never wake before your alarm.

At a conference and surprised to learn how many people are on, or know people who are on, weigh loss jabs. From this sample size, I will be the largest man in the UK in 6 months.

Morning bump for this so that as I put on my white collar and fire up my quarterly results presentation, I can pretend that, really, I'm a writer.

The duality in these last two and that last line 👌👌

All of this, but explicitly with the consent written into it as well, is so, so hot.

And who will I be saying that last line to?

first of all, this is a fantastic thread! big fan of somno, especially the kind where the active partner just needs you so badly they can't wait. i love how you wrote the slow and then all-at-once realization of waking up and taking stock. also... "good boy, Daddy" has altered my brain chemistry 🥴🫠

Aaand with that I'm off to bed🫡🙂‍↕️

This story attracted two scam people/bots to DM me so it must be good.

I'm on a train en route to a job I hate, so please validate me by reading, and hopefully enjoying, this very quick little ditty.

CW: CNC You wake up feeling sore. Your thighs hurt. Your scalp aches. Your nipples feel raw & sensitive. You're lying on your front but you don't sleep on your front... Your thighs hurt. No, they ache. The light though the curtains is dim. It's early. You never wake before your alarm.

You mean the 10 minute Cannes standing O was not a good predictor of the quality of Megalopolis? LOL