Allow yourself to celebrate even the smallest of victories in the face of adversity. Don't snuff out a light because it is not bright enough. Nurture it, and fight to make it grow until the shadows retreat. Even the greatest beacons may be lit with the smallest spark.

You’re allowed to ghost people in October. It’s festive

She’s got Betty Davis eyes but Ariana Grande eyebrows

I hate myself, I’m gonna watch a Gwyneth Paltrow movie cuz it’s what I deserve.

Her: Do that thing I like. Me: *never contacts her again

Them...You're so calm. Me...I'm medicated.

It's gotten to the point where my dog accepts my screaming as normal behavior.

best thing about being a woman is not having my balls on the outside because honestly, wtf you guys

Once upon a time there were real people on the internet that would correct your posts grammar for free.

"May your bloodline suffer wet socks for one millennium!"

Sorry I subjected you to a moderately bad post. I’ll do it again.

Friendship is not like water Do not use only when you're thirsty

God grant me the serenity to accept the things no one else will change

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you just let me and not fire my ass🎶

This is a pro anarchy and nap account.

I HAVE to "go" it's never I WANT to "go" but mom always said "we all have to do stuff we don't want to do" so I guess I have to go do.. * gesticulates wildly around*

Normalize calling box breathing what it is: bong hit holding

Tits or ass? Bro, the soft light that emanates from her like she’s a moonlit shade. The way her soft voice sounds like leaves turning over before a storm. How moths cling to her fingers like they’re made of lamplight.

If my voice sounds funny it's bc I'm speaking directly out of my ass.

Sometimes you just have to be lonely in a language that no one else speaks.

are you telling me this salad is made of words

you call me a cat lady like it's somehow a bad thing

Look, you can have big hair OR a big forehead, you can't do both.

Today’s headlines: - Bad decision - Worse decision - No one is really sure why but someone made that decision, then bragged about it - Person worst for the job hired for job - Rain wet Check in tomorrow for more news

my cat is sleeping on me and i can’t reach my vape* *a tragedy

Let’s just keep that between you and your ChatGPT therapist prompt

It’s ok you don’t have to talk to the person who wrote the post

If you’re a self-saboteur you can reframe fucking up as “the prophecy has been fulfilled” — it doesn’t fix the problem but it does make it sound a lot cooler

Long story short, jokes about rivers aren't current...

Who me? Just over here trying to mind my own business.

Ibuprofen pez dispenser

In the divorce settlement you should get back all of your favorite songs, memory free.

It was a eat cold leftover fried chicken over the sink in silence kind of week

My Stress App: Your realtime stress level has been low the last hour! Want to log why that might be? Me: indica

it’s when your fomo turns to jomo that you are finally free

Daughter: "Middle-aged"? Are you gonna live until 112?

Does every sentence need to include a vegetable? Not neccescelery.

I am going to make it through this year if it kills me 🎶

A Scottish duo that sings about possible side effects of drugs during commercials? The Disclaimers

yo,wanna come over to my autism encampment we have the good towels but you'll have to bring your own spoon

There is no “I said good day, sir” only Zul

You’re not broken. You’re fine. Drink more water

Doomscrolling my own posts and laughing maniacally

Take that smile elsewhere we don’t do that here.