Han Solo Cup
@hansolocup.bsky.social
📤 1547
📥 554
📝 270
short story long…
pinned post!
Him: how do you want your eggs? Me: outside the control of the patriarchy Him: so definitely not poached?
about 1 year ago
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My air sax solo on the Motels “Only the Lonely” will make you fall in love.
about 15 hours ago
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Han Solo Cup
Greg the Miller
6 days ago
space heater? good luck with that
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Coworkers: I would do anything for lunch Me: yes! Arby’s! Coworkers: but I won’t do that
6 days ago
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Continents are just big islands
#sososcience
8 days ago
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Ice storm warning in Atlanta, not sure if I should salt my driveway or hide my immigrants
18 days ago
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ICE: not a well-regulated militia since 2003
18 days ago
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Who invented the slow-closing toilet seat? Not all heroes wear capes, but you should.
18 days ago
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I just used a waffle iron to make a panini, so yes, I am all about innovation.
21 days ago
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Sometimes I wonder what I’d do without Cheerios
23 days ago
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Han Solo Cup
Nate's Myth
28 days ago
3:07 am : *sits bolt upright in bed* TOO MUCH SOUP IS A SLURPLUS *immediately falls back into deep sleep*
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Han Solo Cup
BoneChocolates
9 months ago
I’m kinda shy at first but get to know me and you’ll be surprised to find that I’m also quite unpleasant, and sometimes just a straight-up asshole.
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Han Solo Cup
lil squirt (it’s not pee)
26 days ago
Bringing the gassy vibes
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Real people that have annoyed me #1: Pronounces pizza like peeza Says “the powers to be” Declawed their cats
27 days ago
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Han Solo Cup
BAJA BLAST BLAINE
27 days ago
"you should eat more vegetables" yeah well maybe vegetables should put more effort into being edible, did they ever think about that
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Han Solo Cup
Siege
about 1 month ago
My new debate team hasn’t met yet because we keep going back-and-forth on when-and-where. We might be too good at this…
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Han Solo Cup
Siege
2 months ago
I don’t know why Tolkien called a meeting of wizards “the white council” when “staff meeting” was right there.
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Han Solo Cup
weeder
about 1 month ago
I bought a blazer today. If you need to unfollow, I understand. 😔
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Han Solo Cup
Crockett Houghton
about 1 month ago
Stop scrolling and drink some water. Eat a banana. Make banana bread. Eat a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Honestly, I have too many bananas. I need help with all these bananas.
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Han Solo Cup
Siege
about 1 month ago
I have to stop watching pro wrestling with my dog. Now when I tell her to heel she hits me over the back with a steel chair and pisses on me.
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Han Solo Cup
key
about 1 month ago
it’s tough trying to be fergalicious in these trying times
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Han Solo Cup
Bazecraze
about 1 month ago
Hell is gonna run out of special places.
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Harsh truth for people that only use their small laptop screen and no monitor: You say that’s all you need to do your job, but the rest of us can tell. You are slower and less accurate.
2 months ago
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Never trust someone that asks to borrow your lip balm.
3 months ago
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Han Solo Cup
Twin Dad
about 1 year ago
*evaluating the apple pie for Thanksgiving* this isn’t remotely fuckable
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Han Solo Cup
Twin Dad
about 1 year ago
I’m bringing some very traditional things to thanksgiving this year. I really hope everyone enjoys their smallpox blankets.
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Han Solo Cup
🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
3 months ago
ask not for whom the butt holes it holes for thee
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I could never be a “yes man”. Definitely more of a “yo, man”.
3 months ago
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Han Solo Cup
Phil Plait
3 months ago
Mandelbroccoli
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Han Solo Cup
Midge
3 months ago
What in the festive fuck
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Guest Services: your stay comes with a free incontinental breakfast Me: don’t you mean continental? Guest Services: the Imodium is next to the orange juice
3 months ago
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Replacing your underwear every 6-12 months is just propaganda from big panty.
3 months ago
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Han Solo Cup
Gef the Toking Mongoose
3 months ago
Who we used to have to buy weed from before legalization
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Han Solo Cup
mave
3 months ago
Don’t know why trick-or-treaters are annoyed I’m scooping guacamole into their bags. It’s a premium add-on
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There’s always a secreter society.
3 months ago
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Han Solo Cup
CrazyMyra
4 months ago
Is there going to be an IPO and a Wall Street listing for the US government, or is this a private sale to the billionaires?
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Han Solo Cup
Gef the Toking Mongoose
about 1 year ago
better to reign in taco bell than serve at cheesecake factory
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Han Solo Cup
yeah ok
8 months ago
You can't just sweep the elephant in the room under the rug.
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If getting loaded means stuffing myself with cheese, bacon, butter, and sour cream, then yes please.
4 months ago
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Han Solo Cup
demon core vidal
4 months ago
big ups to soup
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The reward of getting your shit together is finding another layer of shit to deal with. There is no end to the shit.
4 months ago
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What’s the age requirement to drive a Buick? Like 62?
5 months ago
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Han Solo Cup
Scotty Ray
6 months ago
replacing Batman fight onomatopoeiae with old midwestern brewery names
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There are axolotls everywhere.
#dragoncon2025
6 months ago
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Han Solo Cup
inkedupandsonic
6 months ago
*Puts on cloak on invisibility* "This is gonna be so much fun" *Stays at home and watches tv*
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On Monday, I remembered the new work password I set on Friday. Not today, AARP!
6 months ago
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I call your f-bombs and raise you a c-word.
6 months ago
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When it all starts to sound as muddy as Pearl Jam lyrics, it’s time to end the meeting.
6 months ago
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Han Solo Cup
Stalled Traffic
6 months ago
Eminem says he’s gonna be rapping until he’s 100 years old and I, for one, cannot wait for him to drop his Social Security Administration diss track.
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Han Solo Cup
Donkey Hotay 💩
7 months ago
I’m a godless whore but I’m non practicing
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