Remembering Glenn Burke, MLB’s first openly gay player and co-inventor of the high five, born on this date in 1952

Seriously jingle horse we are super fucking late

San Francisco in 35mm (Minolta x700, Gold 200, scanned and processed by me, I don't know what I'm doing)

If there’s one thing sportscasters love, it’s to actually have spoken with this player yesterday

or is the piss tank 50% empty??

"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny

If you're not asking the doctor annoying questions in the portal, you're leaving free healthcare on the table

Federal Hemp Ban Threatens Local Guy’s Whole Deal https://theonion.com/federal-hemp-ban-threatens-local-guys-whole-deal/

Sorry, leg cramp, sorry

What's even worse? I'll say Kidz Bop www.theguardian.com/music/2025/n...

When I encounter myself as a different colored cursor because I have the Google Doc open in two tabs

Ordering two 150lb dumbbells online bc Im in a fight with my mailman

[To the tune of Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison] 🎵Baba Yaga 🎵Walking down the street 🎵Baba Yaga 🎵House with chicken feet 🎵Baba Yaga

when you personally know the nyt reporter who's getting mass quote-dunked today 😬

(Zoom meeting presenting a bar chart): any questions on Q3 before we move on to forecasts? Me: uh, can we imagine the bars as skyscrapers where the data works? Or are they little smokestacks at a data factory? Presenter:…they’re stelae, that the data can’t understand but worship regardless

*playing a California Raisins record for a friend* Pretty good right? These are raisins playing all the instruments

at 2am the internet should play the national anthem and shut off for the night

New LEATHERMAN™ Wipes

(Leading him to the Sphinx) Yeah, it’s like a trivia night

Refried bean bag chair

They’re calling it the must see video on youtube

Make-a-wish foundation but every wish has horribly ironic consequences like a monkey's paw

i did not say i "fear" the reaper dude, i just said i think it's annoying that there's a reaper

Tuesday holiday, i.e. I will have no idea what day it is for the rest of the week

my wife and i saw you from across the bar and were wondering if you always chew your food like that

I always put these on to make a post

Blasting the Mars Volta and chopping up the holy trinity

Send provisions

If this guy has a 15-year career, that’s approximately 14,480 more times I think about this scene.

Posting! On The Toilet

adding a second trepan hole to get a cross breeze going

Putting the rotisserie chicken carcass on top of the egg crate in the fridge like some mad, macabre simulacra of The Modern Chicken

This is cinema

LOGGING ON

They should invent a hot liquid that makes you more alert and outgoing

Fear makes strange bedwetters of us all.

All right men fan out. Or do whatever, just leave me alone!

#computer #tractor_feed #trypophobia

I mean, just look at this guy

Areas love to be tri-something

the predator using his little targeting beam to try and light his way down the hall to take a leak at 2am and tripping over a bunch of skulls

Good for them. Everyone deserves to find happiness. Hopefully someday this won't be news but we don't live in that world yet

It's a little on the nose watching The Chair Company while trying to chat in broken English with a customer service representative at the internet provider I've never heard of that my existing internet provider forcibly switched me to today and now nothing works and nobody knows when it will

setting my Rude filter to SHOW. setting my Unruly filter to WARN. setting my Vulgar filter to HIDE. setting my Churlish filter to SHOW BADGE. setting my Impudent filter to TSK STERNLY. setting my Callow filter to FROWN. setting my Naughty filter to... hmmm... DEPLOY OPERA GLASSES FOR FURTIVE PEEPING

Right about now, the honk shoo brother

[gets a work email about required annual training] ok, I'll play your twisted games...