Fireworks suck and everything but drone shows are extremely lame and someone needs to say it

Seattle's live foggy NYE celebration is a surreal fever dream

Just as the countdown hits zero, our smart TV gives us a popup notification saying we watched less than an hour of live TV per day this year

In-Sagrada-Família by Iron Butterfly

In every photograph I've ever seen of Shel Silverstein he looks like he only sleeps with married people

The most annoying thing about all this AI bullshit is THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IT SHOULD BE DOING. beep boop, tomorrow is a federal holiday would you like me to turn off your alarm for you?

This is your reminder: If you’re not working tomorrow- turn off your alarm.

gimme fuel, gimme fire, i have never seen The Wire

Hate freeloaders who join in the New Year's Eve countdown for the last 10 seconds. I've been doing this all year. Where were you back in May

Epic fail: Australia already set off their new year's fireworks 🤣🤣🤣💀🤦‍♂️

the year is 2026 and it's illegal to be cool. only one man can save the world from being uncool: 37 year old gay guy who remembers every episode of the critic

pound for pound this might be the funniest thing ever written

If you don't live on the west coast, please don't post any new year's spoilers tonight

Auld acquaintance be forgot, who dis

Man I wish my brain were capable of adjusting to time zone changes like a normal person. "Buh, we've been home for a week and it's pitch black out, it must be time to wake up now!" Absolute idiot

Rest in peace to Mike F, one of the all-time greats

“the Jimmy Buffett” should be a reincarnated spiritual leader like the Dalai Lama. a living demigod of relaxation

RIP Mike F

RIP to Mike F, one of the all time great posters. Thank you for brightening online with your many wonderful jokes.

RIP to such a funny person we bring this one up all the time

Man, the creator of "check this shit out motherfucker" died. One of the all time great posters

Has science gone too far? #GoneTooFar

This is true and I was the only one on set excited about it (and playing the song on my phone to blank stares)

When I root, I root for the Raxphorgs

Ive been in my crafthole for a few days using this lip balm not realizing it has some red pigment lip shimmer stuff but my BIL came over to get his generator and he was treating me super weird then I noticed in the mirror that I had bright red shiny lips

You should be able to rev your shopping cart at people in the grocery store

Does This Album Have a Long Fade In Or Is My Sound Not On?: A Memoir

Press play at 10:57:33 PM and they'll snap the ball at exactly midnight

Just watched the new Knives Out and I think it's really important you know that the scene in the Seminary's Gym is filmed in the same place Rick Astley filmed the music video for Never Gonna Give You Up. I saw the window tracery and immediately made my friends pause the film so I could tell them.

🎶 Lentil pasta 🎶

[Bob Marley voice] buffalo soy curls

oh brother, another bad post from political influencer beltway brian. i am furious at beltway brian all of the time. i share screencaps of beltway brian's posts with people who have no idea who he is. i hate all of beltway brian's posts and i read all of them every single day, including weekends

I need to relax a bit. Gonna try out the new bathbombs my wife got me for Christmas.

It's so stupid that X rays are bad for you. We should be able to use X rays whenever we want

I am finally back home, completely alone, in perfect silence [sits motionless and stares at the wall until it's time for bed]

We need a predatory towing company of the left!

Reminder for the new year

Getting the zoomies when the captain turns off the fasten seatbelt sign

Philanthropic Dad Leaves Front Door Open to Heat Whole Neighborhood

That "don't know much about" song except he just keeps listing things he doesn't know and never actually gets to a chorus

[doing backing vocals for Sam Cooke] Science Book

After a grueling three-day campaign, we have finally succeeded in Turning Off The TV That Is Always On

Towards A Holistic Understanding of Mom and Dad's Fridge: Organizing Soda Cans and Leftovers in the Age Of Post-Semiotic "Third Segment" Middle Drawers

🎶 simply having another full glass of wine

Who up tearing they family apart with a board game everyone hates