Ah shit, here we go again

Being this high above the earth really puts into perspective how insignificant everyone other than me is

Beer Leader, this is Cold One, standing by. Over

I don't know if I'd be able to maintain my composure if It Happened while I was on an airplane and a video of the inevitable resulting fight with some other passenger would surely go viral

This has to be the emptiest plane I've ever been on

Bus didn't show up so I walked 5 miles back to my aunt's house and didn't get mugged

This beer at Third Window in Santa Barbara is one of the best beers I've ever had in my entire life. Jesucristo

Man. Won't pretend to know him as a person beyond 30 Rock but what a consistently hilarious performance on a show full of louder and more eye-catching ones who was nonetheless every bit as vital a part of the whole.

They're calling them "the whitest nachos ever made"

My aunt lives in the most idyllic city in the entire country surrounded by beaches and mountains and palm trees in a house no normal person could afford to buy and she lives her entire life in a constant state of fear and I cannot understand it

Escaping family for a Friday night alone in downtown Santa Barbara as my aunt lists off all the ways I could become a crime victim

Join the conversation!

mountains 🤝 clouds

This guy was talkin shit

The trick is to have enough stuff going on in your life that you can go online and be like I don’t have time for any of this shit but not so much stuff going on in your life that it prevents you from going online for 17 or 18 hours a day

Street intersection or mid-2000s indie folk band?

when I find a great Wikipedia page and follow all the links on it to other great Wikipedia pages that's called "turnin' purples"

When planes do that thing where they fly way past the airport and then do this big dramatic turn back around, it feels like they're just showing off. I'm not paying you to hot dog it, just land the plane 🙄

Putting on every life vest I can grab and bouncing around through the plane

The plane shakes slightly and I immediately inflate my life vest despite being hundreds of miles inland

the airport beer haver

[in the TSA body scanner] now let's do a silly one

TSA doesn't like it when you refer to going through security as "breaching the perimeter"

Beating somebody up because I caught them slow blinking with my cat through the widow

10 years old: the first season of the Simpsons is the best! 20 years old: the first season of the Simpsons is the worst! 30 years old: you know, the first season of the Simpsons wasn't that bad 40 years old: the first season of the Simpsons is the best!

damn, I did *not* remember Simpsons season 1 going this hard

Johnny Depp and Sonic the Hedgehog colliding around a corner and they both explode into a shower of rings.

21st Century Normal Man

Does This Album Have a Long Fade In Or Is My Sound Not On?: A Memoir

[king crimson voice]

Get to spend the rest of the week with my 74-year-old dad and 99-year-old grandpa

called my nana for her 98th birthday. we yelled at each other to establish: is it me or my sister calling? (me) what age am i now? (turning 40 in june) do husband and i have kids? (not yet, too poor) at the end she said she wrote down in her memory book: COURTNEY RANG SHE IS 40 SHE HAS NO FAMILY

remember chivas usa lol

It would be funny if sports also did like healthcare worker appreciation week and wore uniforms that looked scrubs, or teacher appreciation week and uniforms that looked like, I don't know, cardigans

Got into a fight with a support chatbot again

*youth pastor voice* You know who else had a heavy backlog?

"many stops do not follow" -ancient garbageman proverb

i will never take a plane if i could take a boat or a train. not for any environmental reasons i just think travel should be slow and laborious and soaked in an introspective melancholia that our current high speed world has robbed from us

when you see the president commit crimes

I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN

Getting a quarterback wristband and putting this in it for when I go to the grocery store

she’s in oakland, someone tell interpol

The mandalorian and greg

Strapping on a feedbag full of granola

(scrolling Bluesky) I reject the premise. I reject the premise. Granted. I reject the premise. Not my fetish. Granted. I reject the premise. Funny. I reject the premise.

tfw you’ve been partying with REO Speedwagon