babe wake up, they're doing insider trading on war crimes

Hope is not a plan. You can hope in one hand and shit in the other and see which gets filled first. Do that enough times, and you'll have enough shit to craft your own Chuck Schumer.

Impeach, convict, remove.

Every reaction from any Democrat that stops short of impeachment is utterly disqualifying.

Everyone you're not going to believe this but Democratic leadership is not rising to the moment.

This is not the behavior I expect from a FIFA Peace Prize winner.

It was the best of times (to create a new account on FanDuel), it was the worst of times (to miss out on a FREE $10 parlay using promo code WAGEROFTWOCITIES).

So how long until the next dummy rags on Bluesky while saying "at least they know how to have a real conversation on X"? One week? Two?

WOW!!!!!!!

Oh good, all my fears about AI have been eased because one of the leading authorities takes his lead from his good friend... Kissinger? fortune.com/2026/01/02/f...

Joelle JoJo!

I am also hot and shallow. You can run a test on me for, oh, half that price. denverite.com/2026/01/02/s...

*Benoit Blanc voice*: And these acquaintances--auld though they may be--should they be forgot? Hwhy should they never be brought to mind? It confounds me! Intrigues me though.

New year, new me*! * = ntal issues

*Benoit Blanc voice*: And these acquaintances--auld though they may be--should they be forgot? Hwhy should they never be brought to mind? It confounds me! Intrigues me though.

Happy New Year! May we all live in uninteresting times.

Epic fail: Australia already set off their new year's fireworks 🤣🤣🤣💀🤦‍♂️

The time of the orcas is now! I believe in you, my sea-dwelling mammal brethren.

Happy New Year's Adam! Remember today to decide on all the ways you plan to get worse in the coming year.

tfw you forgot to register the domain name, and someone else snatched it.

Can we just give Eric Adams a TV show or something? I need him to never leave the public eye.

No, because I haven't written anything about narcissism.

Oh so we really are going to invade Canada huh? www.earth.com/news/an-almo...

One day, far in the future, there will be epic wars between the two groups of humanity's descendants: the crab-sapiens and the anteater-sapiens. (Team Anteater all the way) www.earth.com/news/mammals...

"Samsung's Galaxy Z TriFold, a phone that folds twice,"

Counterpoint www.pinterest.com/pin/these-an...

I definitely thought this was tongue in cheek at first, but the rest of the thread makes it clear Stancil believes this literally. Serves me right for giving someone the benefit of the doubt. I've learned my lesson--never again.

One thing I'll never be able to get past with AI is that they created a computer program that is bad at being a computer. It's right in the name: they compute. They can do huge amounts of complex calculations incredibly fast without errors. AI says "ah, but what if they made errors?"

This opens up the exciting possibility of calling some dogs beards for their owners.

To all my trans homies remember: Christmas without HRT is just Cismas

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter--tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther... And one fine morning, Tiny Tim, who did NOT die-- So we beat on, boats against the current,

Christmas cookies are an amazing concept. Designer 1: I call these 'sugar cookies' because of all the sugar in them. Designer 2: They're perfect for the holidays, because you can also decorate them in fun ways. D1: How would you decorate them? D2: With a bunch more sugar.

Extremely funny to call the pope “holier-than-thou”

Having grown up Catholic, I'm just not prepared to live in a world where the Pope has actual moral legitimacy.

"Why don't these people treat me as well as the Nazis do?" asks the rich white guy, after railing against universal healthcare again. "There's obviously something wrong with them."

Some have suggested not doing anything, while others push to do nothing. thehill.com/homenews/sen...

My mouth during cold and flu season

This is why we need an escape goat, so we can escape these problems

Last Christmas I gave you my heart The very next day Kali ma shakti de

People are making a bigger deal of this than it is. It's not like there's some story out there about a ship sinking because of hubris.

a good time to bump this

angrily and repeatedly turning up the volume on this calming music playlist so it'll work faster

Merry Christmas... or is it? Real ad from Channel 7 in 1983, because scarring children is just what the 80s were about. youtu.be/Bd2cwoxqrxw?...

"And for what reason? His many crimes? His continued dismantling of the American state? His flagrant violation of the Constitution? Absurd!"

Nut luncheon Had me a blast Nut luncheon Happened so fast

You're asking the inventor of the washing machine to limit themselves? Nonsense. If someone tries to force you into a box you say HELL NO unless you are a CAT because CATS LOVE BOXES.

This is absolutely fucking bananas the way that these people are *so close* to getting it but still manage to miss it by a fucking mile.