born to be merry, forced to know what a spreadsheet is

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer and all anybody wants to talk about is her drinking problem. She’s clearly the victim here.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer and all anybody wants to talk about is her drinking problem. She’s clearly the victim here.

I'm not saying the bakery I've purchased holiday baked goods from for the last ten years should have asked me personally before changing a recipe. That would be ridiculous. I'm just saying that how the bakery feels about peanut butter & jam bars has been noted and I will never forget this betrayal.

Did @crocketthoughton.com and I find the perfect Christmas gnome? Yes. Did we place him so that he strategically guards the presents? Obviously. Am I keeping him out year round after this? Duh.

So @roxiqt.com is taking me to a comic shop for the first time since I was a teenager and honestly getting this excited about something at 40 years old is a treat. Who knew life could just be nice?

People often talk about what superpower they would want and for me, it's easy- I need the ability to, out of thin air, instantly produce a meaningful gift for any special occasion, anniversary, or holiday along with proof of purchase and romantic backstory tie-in.

SUPERVISOR: I need to speak with some of you in my office ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst

People often talk about what superpower they would want and for me, it's easy- I need the ability to, out of thin air, instantly produce a meaningful gift for any special occasion, anniversary, or holiday along with proof of purchase and romantic backstory tie-in.

First thing you’re gonna wanna do is clean up that raw chicken juice with your sponge. Get the sponge nice and saturated. Now use that sponge on every dish and surface in the kitchen

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Christopher Nolan is my favorite living director and The Odyssey looks incredible.

ME: [immediately after getting hired]

*stopwatch ticking* how christmas was stolen from the grinch: tonight on 60 minutes

If you (like me) love horror, don’t limit yourself to English speaking films. Some of the greatest horror cinema is coming out of Japan & France & Korea. You owe it to yourself to be treated to movies that can actually surprise you with an ending.

One day something will happen — a wedding, a graduation, a job promotion, Jake Paul getting knocked out, Andrew Tate getting knocked out the next day — and you’ll want the right outfit to celebrate. Buy that special outfit now, so you’re ready when that next unexpected moment arrives.

not for nothing but blindly trusting statistical analysis from nearly anywhere right now, especially the federal government, is foolish at best, if not intentionally disingenuous

If you (like me) love horror, don’t limit yourself to English speaking films. Some of the greatest horror cinema is coming out of Japan & France & Korea. You owe it to yourself to be treated to movies that can actually surprise you with an ending.

"prompt theft" is funny as hell like oh no somebody did the same google search as me. grow up

The priest at my snake church said science is a myth

The thing about social media is that not only can you find all sorts of information (real information & fake information), you can also find videos of cats. I always want to know if cats are real. The thing I hate about AI is, information is verifiable but dancing cats are only a maybe.

The main reason you don't see very many people with pet raccoons online is because once you have a pet raccoon, you are too busy hanging out with your raccoon to be online. There is also a good chance that the raccoon changed their Wi-Fi password.

The thing about social media is that not only can you find all sorts of information (real information & fake information), you can also find videos of cats. I always want to know if cats are real. The thing I hate about AI is, information is verifiable but dancing cats are only a maybe.

Michael Jackson describes a horrific scene then has the nerve to ask Annie if she’s okay. No, Michael, she isn’t okay. There’s blood all over the carpet.

What have you thought about the final season of Stranger Things so far? We can tell you what we thought. We're returning to Hawkins in @crocketthoughton.com's new review of Stranger Things - Season 5, Volume 1. Read it now on Fright About Now. 👻📽️ www.frightaboutnow.com/p/stranger-t...

Can horror movies be so bad that they are actually good again? @crocketthoughton.com discusses that here in his review of The Strangers: Chapter 2! 👻📽️ www.frightaboutnow.com/p/the-strang...

Shelby Oaks: The Good, The Bad, The Other Parts Also... A review by @crocketthoughton.com. 👻📽️ www.frightaboutnow.com/p/shelby-oak...

"Everyone just wants to put on a good show and get the business flowing again. Of course, this isn’t a normal night. The zombie apocalypse happens to put a damper on things..." 🌈📽️👻 Read more of @crocketthoughton.com's review of Queens of the Dead here: www.frightaboutnow.com/p/queens-of-...

Michael Jackson describes a horrific scene then has the nerve to ask Annie if she’s okay. No, Michael, she isn’t okay. There’s blood all over the carpet.

FYI: CHIME, the terrifying but hard to find horror from PULSE director Kiyoshi Kurosawa, will finally screen in the U.S.

Ever have a song playing in the background of your mind but you can’t quite make it out so you turn it up and it’s just been Rod Stewart (Forever Young) the entire time? Brains are weird places.

After hitting physical media on Tuesday, BUGONIA will begin streaming on Peacock next Friday, December 26.

In a year overflowing with incredible horror, it's hard to narrow it down! But in the end, we managed. Here are Fango's top picks for the best horror movies of 2025. Did yours make the list?

Went Christmas shopping with @crocketthoughton.com today & as we were walking up the street, a dude was staring at us and finally said "Hey, where'd you get your masks?" I said we got them online. He goes "Hell yeah, those are sick" and I was like "Thanks man!" 10/10 random stranger interaction.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a duck that does crimes

abandoned tasks should chime like a fridge door left open too long

“As things stand now, I am going to be a writer. I'm not sure that I'm going to be a good one or even a self-supporting one, but until the dark thumb of fate presses me to the dust and says 'you are nothing', I will be a writer.” -Hunter S. Thompson

Kids these days will never understand the importance of waking up first on a Saturday morning.

Steven Spielberg's mysterious UFO movie finally reveals itself. Watch the first teaser for DISCLOSURE DAY within. www.fangoria.com/steven-spiel...

I know most people tune this stuff out but there are 4 different people who I know personally (who do not know each other) who are seriously ill and/or hospitalized right now due to COVID or Long COVID related issues. Protect your health. Protect your family. Mask up this holiday season.

(leaving a yelp review after getting my ass kicked six or seven times during a single meal at the fancy restaurant) The bread was honestly fantastic

Kids these days will never understand the importance of waking up first on a Saturday morning.

Christmas was invented by Steve Christmas, who loved presents.

They're selling you the same pasta in different shapes and you're falling for it

Maybe I’m just late to the party but I hadn’t seen anyone talking about Blue Eye Samurai on Netflix. I’m three episodes in and this is an incredible story with beautiful animation. Definitely check it out.

gravy boats imply the existence of gravy maritime law

Spending the holiday season cuddling with my husband watching Christmas horror movies while we cough and sneeze and pass tissues back and forth... but the real holiday horror is how we both have to drink Buckley's cough syrup.

I’m in Canada and I finally had a reason to try Buckley’s cough syrup. Their slogan is “it tastes awful and it works.” After I swallowed, I thought it wasn’t that bad but ladies and gentlemen… it BUILDS. Buckley’s has LAYERS. It LINGERS. Definitely truth in advertising.

I’m in Canada and I finally had a reason to try Buckley’s cough syrup. Their slogan is “it tastes awful and it works.” After I swallowed, I thought it wasn’t that bad but ladies and gentlemen… it BUILDS. Buckley’s has LAYERS. It LINGERS. Definitely truth in advertising.