Olivia
@awliv.bsky.social
📤 378
📥 316
📝 279
stupid jokes, horses, stupid horses she/her
just recently put my phone in grayscale so sometimes I forget and then I’m watching a video going “black & white was a weird choice for this”
3 months ago
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didn’t see anything in peoples’ front yards for Halloween on my walk, unless you count the mattress out by the curb and say the theme is “bedbugs.” then it becomes a very scary decoration
4 months ago
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her phone died before she got the hulk hogan gif I sent 😪
11 months ago
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fell off a horse for the first time yesterday (he tripped and fell, so I fell off)
11 months ago
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me since my dog died:
11 months ago
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Mark
about 1 year ago
I just said “working yard or yardly working?” in response to my wife’s question about doing yard work and I think we might be divorced now.
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Bob Wehadababyitsaboy
about 1 year ago
Just saw a video of a drunk woman getting arrested at an airport and she said “how are you going to hold my accountable for something I did 20 minutes ago” and the beauty of that statement fully floored me.
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happy new year, I posted this yesterday and one of my friends said “is this supposed to be a thirst trap 😭” and “😭😭😭 and are those bangs” so I guess their resolution is to keep me humble
about 1 year ago
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nvm he looked 3 times within the first 7 minutes lol
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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slop enjoyer
about 1 year ago
she hans on my gruber til i die hard
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Jason, ex Inferis
about 1 year ago
She parum on my pumpum til I pum.
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— me, a year ago
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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Jake_Vig
about 1 year ago
You had me at hello. Of course, you immediately lost me the moment you said something else. But at hello, you really had me.
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we hooked up once, never saw or spoke to each other again. today he added me on snapchat and has looked at the story I posted in a cute outfit 3 times in the last 2 hours lmao
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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Expedition X: New Horizons you can invite cryptids to live on/possess/haunt your island
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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Jason, ex Inferis
about 1 year ago
Might just fuck around and eat you up, I love you so.
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I’m gonna lose my fucking mind bro
about 1 year ago
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cait (and adonis)
about 1 year ago
it's amazing how they keep flanking him with the most miserable, evil-looking people you can imagine when he looks like a marble sculpture that escaped from the museum in the vatican
add a skeleton here at some point
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jenny tightpants
about 1 year ago
babe wake up. government christmas skeleton just dropped
add a skeleton here at some point
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Kristi Yamaguccimane
about 1 year ago
they’re so mad he showed people how easy it was that they gotta drum up the police state theater
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a guy just told me I “used to be sexier” so keep an eye out for my mugshot after I murder him, I’ll try to look sexy in it
about 1 year ago
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Nice Dude (sincere)
about 1 year ago
Me: this horse was a gift Veterinary Dentist: I’m sorry, I can’t help you
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The Real Kim Shady
about 1 year ago
hear me out conversion therapy so I can settle down with a woman
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sweetie π
about 1 year ago
instead of hearts bsky should have a horse counting out our likes
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Belle got 4 teeth pulled today, she’s really leaning in to the whole “living in Alabama” thing
about 1 year ago
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Olivia
ArtButMakeItSports
about 1 year ago
The Betrayal of Christ, by Giuseppe Cesari, 1596-97, 📸 by @rachelwizphoto
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soul nate
about 1 year ago
police: come out with your hands up unitedhealthcare shooter: 🤌🤌
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about 1 year ago
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jenny tightpants
about 1 year ago
even if he's a bit cringe i'm still on his side here to be clear
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Blue Heron Farm
about 1 year ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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tweety fish
about 1 year ago
16 eggs, 16tbsp sugar, gallon of milk (sub a pint or so for cream), bottle of this, half bottle of makers and a cup of cognac and bob’s your ol’ uncle egg nog
add a skeleton here at some point
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just sent a video w an inbred animal to someone of the same name w the message “I know a guy named that should I send him this video” BY ACCIDENT. I had second thoughts cause idk him that well n sent that message to my friend but forgot to unselect the guy and he saw it 😭
about 1 year ago
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Roxi Horror 💀🌸
about 1 year ago
[at a racetrack] DATE: Which horse are you betting on? ME: I don't have a horse in this race DATE: That's fair ANNOUNCER: [over speakers] Wow, folks, it looks like a large raccoon has just rolled onto the track
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky”
about 1 year ago
I saw the United Healthcare CEO shooter drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's, and his hair was perfect!
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sky
about 1 year ago
*brain waking up* oh god please not again I can’t keep existing in this reality *brain 20 minutes later* I’ve invented a fish breakfast cereal called Carp’n Crunch
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zupa grochowa
about 1 year ago
Kenneth looks up quizzically from a backpack he just unzipped in Tracy Jordan’s dressing room, a few bundles of Monopoly money fall out
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lauren
about 1 year ago
i love telling a bozo to get real
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slate
about 1 year ago
bird flu? i bet it did
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Dave Cactus
about 1 year ago
Always a Rubbermaid, never a rubber.
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wint
about 1 year ago
a cloak believed to belong to the shooter transformed into a dozen beautiful white doves and flew away, Authorities said,
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Jules Suzdaltsev
about 1 year ago
Frankly, the biggest challenge in catching the CEO shooter is that the cost of stitches dramatically outweighs the reward for snitching.
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Cohen is a Ghost
about 1 year ago
there's an account on twitter that people are always getting mad at and I finally saw their bio and brother, they are 22 years old. why are you willfully engaging with the opinions of a 22-year-old you don't like lmao. are you a shift manager? do you think you're at thanksgiving?
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lauren
about 1 year ago
building up a layer of seasoning on a pan is the closest real life ever gets to leveling up a good video game sword
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Blue Heron Farm
about 1 year ago
Can I say something without everyone getting mad?
add a skeleton here at some point
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Kenzi
about 1 year ago
nice try but you KNOW these bad boys have a one-way ticket to Ear City
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𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙤𝙣 𝙫𝙚𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚™
about 1 year ago
what kind of asshole rides a horse through an entire desert and doesn't give it a name
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