The pope: war is inherently evil. Dudes with Vatican flags in their handle: 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Thats me on truth social, thats me dressed as Je-sus, healing Jeffery Epstein.

It’s so funny to think of Israel coming out to say “hold on, don’t depict us all as being like this ugly motherfucker” and this guy be like “wait, what?”

I’m not particularly religious but uhhh… for anyone keeping score… this guy is ticking off quite a few Antichrist boxes.

If JD Vance spoke in support of gravity we’d all float off into space the next day. What a fuckin repellent little turd…

Place in my neighborhood is selling a half chicken for 40 dollars. 40 dollars!

Melania: I never cut child in half with sword. I never do this. The entire USA: what? Melania: not me.

What is this? An arch for ants!? It has to be at least 3 times bigger!

Puh puh pwease just woot fow amewica you guys!!!

new worker at the dicksucking factory: why do we suck the dicks seasoned worker: (laughing) wHy dO wE sUcK tHe dIcKs

Swansons TV dinners should be kept in a back room at grocery store separated by a beaded curtain...

Back in the day tweet mashup used to give us some real bangers…

Toilet paper commercials should be required to show big sloppy shits. They got these fools out here wiping everything but turds!!

The former G4 host crashing out and doing some “FUKKIN FITE ME IRL” shit is prolly the funniest thing thats gonna happen this week and it’s only Monday.

Iranian women’s rights have always been extremely important to me, a guy who spent several years extremely pissed off that Danica Patrick was an active NASCAR driver.

The Kennedy center board of trustees look like theyre about to give Dick Tracy a real hard time…

The Amazing World of Tomorrow

It’s not that I CANT Jack Off to either of them. It’s that I WONT Jack Off to either of them. My spirit is pure.

♫ Cause I’m, Woke Ginger, check it and see, I got a logo on my apology,

I’m putting together a team…

I have eaten at chilis precisely one (1) time in my life. Which is to say my boycott continues.

Toyota releasing a new dump bed Hilux? I cannot see any further applications for this…

Sometimes instagram shows you the most American thing you’ve ever seen

In the pilot seat dive bombing straight into the Knesset.

We used to aggressively clown dudes that wore their chef whites outside of the kitchen. Have a little self respect man. Is your whole identity the job?

Honestly, imagine being the mother who has to get a knock at the door and a folded flag cause your kid is one of the first casualties of “operation le epic bacon” or whatever the fuck this is. Truly mortifying.

The republicans won by running an old pedophile. The question the dems need to be asking is, do we have an even older pedophile?

Look, if you’re gonna do this bullshit just bring back the goddamn arch deluxe.

not really paying attention to whatever people are talking about on here and frankly i don’t really care if people are still on twitter as l mostly just reached my personal limit but if you talk like this you’ve destroyed your root chakra and it’s over for you

These are the 39% of people who actually showed up to vote for this shit and are so psychically tied to being right in their idiot delusion that no matter how hard they get fucked they will not change. I’d wager that about half of them are unhappy but unwilling to admit it.

In Massachusetts people have the power to become immortal by ripping down an entire sleeve of 99 bananas nips in a dunkies parking lot. They do this before going to work at a job that requires using heavy equipment.

I will never understand people in this city who mob the grocery store before a little snow like they need to load up the Conestoga wagon for a trip over the fuckin donner pass. relax. The bodega is still gonna be open to make your bacon egg and a cheese…

I only tune in to watch the losers get forced to accept a plushie.

I always like seeing the fake “dept of…” accounts whenever there is an expected military action by America. They all start speaking in QAnon code to try and pretend they’re in the know. “Sky over Lebanon. Half moon light. Watch the skies. The ocean is ready” fuck are you talking about you maniac

Half way threw my back out just reaching down to pick up one of my kids toys. But rather than admit that I’m getting old and need to be more cognizant of my health and physical well being… (as my wife has often pointed out,) I’m just gonna tell her I threw it out trying to suck my own dick.

You know he woulda got to the island and started doing this shit and just FUCK the WHOLE VIBE up.

-----Original Message----- From: Jeffrey Epstein <[email protected]> To: Gmax Sent: Sat Apr 02 12:14:45 Subject: Punch monkey ,, beat up again, devastating

i think shinji evangelion would have been happiest as a puppygirl but they hadn't invented them yet

It’s like a regular fast food burger but instead of a bun you can get it between two slices of tomato! Yeah it fucking sucks to eat and it’ll get all over your upholstery. It’s on the “secret menu” that everyone knows about. It’s called “prolapse style.” You gotta say that when you order it.

Twinkle twinkle little star? DERIVATIVE BULLSHIT! Just Bah bah black sheep for MORONS.

This is insanely FUCKED

Gotta be careful how this gets reported cause if the rest of the world hears trump is just arresting British tourists for the hell of it they may make him world emperor…

Donald told me i was allowed to go to area 51 and see the aliens and that i could fuck the aliens as long as i stopped sharing Epstein memes on instagram.

You never hear about bearer bonds anymore. have they all been heisted/flown out of a helicopter door from a shot open briefcase?

Saying you were “brutally attacked on Twitter” unironically is such a deeply unserious complaint that even typing out the words should disqualify you from the public discourse. You’re simply too much of a big soggy wet bitch to be taken seriously.

Oh, they fuckin’…

I’m losing it at this post about this raver just constantly puking all over the place because people keep shitting on the dance floor.

Lotta yall don’t wanna grow up big and strong AND IT SHOWS.