reading winnie the pooh on the train and holding it up so everyone sees it's the original bear

trimmed my toenails for the rapture

broke: find em fuck em and flee woke: eats roots and leaves bespoke:

old and busted: reddit atheists new hottness: bluesky believers

idk how i'm just learning this but kirk was wearing a vest and he still died like the bitch he was? amazing luck

despite their best efforts last night charlie kirk remains a corpse

when they ask what set i'm claiming

they call the cumberland farms cumbies

*xennial who just ended a dry spell* backshots back alright!

walking manwich

why do they call him grimace when he smiles so happy

shopping for my new cosplay

Back with another one of those Cock Blockin' NEETs

im digesting so well now bro

Charles "Eviscerated" Kork

get there fast and then take it slow? yeah this songs about edging

hoop jorts

New EO requires all blue cities to replace bike lanes with smoking lanes

ngl liking the zoomer silence when they hand me something

BangBus implies HashBus

nasa doesn't like to talk about it but everyone on the iss is hairless from the neck down. every 40 orbits they have the "group shave" which takes less time than youd think

im at the Titty Fuck, im at the Pussy Grind

hes fingering his own butthole and using a fork to eat with in hell now

donald trump so decrepit he couldn't shake a turd down his pant leg

caught cadillacin

various traditional irish groups playing versions of the same 10 standards

help im being carried by six sigma males

usually wait til October to get my flu and covid vax but within a week the kids brought home some shit that's laid me low for 3 days so far. thinking August now

my android unlock pin is 80085 man fuck apple

sub stack of dimes

mark zuckerberg presents the cigarette that doesn't make you look cool

chuckles croak

been hearing far fewer harley bikes on nice evenings. it's the little things

kiss me where it spells funny *points to forehead*

bing chilling

a shot put girl walking my back might fix me

larry flynt and michael steele

i bet ny dryer balls are having a great time in there

munch's make believe band has awakened a generation of warriors

rolled down the window and he started to say it's all about makin DGTA

first hunter biden now brigitte macron. truly a golden age for president-adjacent crotch shots in the public record

lol youtube.com/shorts/WR373...

new copy pasta just dropped

headed to Utah to get a selfie with a diner jelly packet smashed on my neck

Man I Love Festbier

four different frats will have hazing rituals based around putting your dick in his outstretched hand

sorry I'm pretty sick and took off work today

thinking about the guy who made a Boston dynamics dog piss beer at 1000 psi and it always blasted the keg cup away and never not funny to an idiot like me

Bang Bus outtake reel called Blunderbuss