Getting sworn in on this

It’s why they’re desperate to destroy the middle class

You look great sir

My main takeaway from the Jack Smith testimony: we should push our presidential candidate to make him Attorney General in 2029.

Doesn’t “share the wealth” mean everyone can afford $600 boots if they want them?

Indiana University? The basketball school?

*Sees the Rose Bowl score* Most dominating performance by Indiana since The Last Crusade

just saw a billionaire pack all his things in a bindle and start leaving new york city on foot. he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “maybe one day when this city is safe we’ll return” before walking away

We haven't seen an Indiana squad turn back an Alabama offense this decisively since Antietam

Drop the shredded cheese into your mouth and then add a cracker

Looking at this as a hopeful touchstone for 2026.

Real thinks happening in the Empire State

The Maltese Fuckin’, coming soon

This SOB robbed us of the chance to see Deuce Biggalo as Hulk

Rob Schneider was originally cast to play Detective Dave Toschi in ZODIAC but then I convinced David Fincher to give the role to Ruffalo instead because he’s woke

Got to hand it to Trump, giving an insane interview about his health is really tuning in to a lot of the country’s New Year hopes and dreams.

Love the “this must be the place” bumper music also

Cubs are Reinsdorfing so hard

I’d like to see him eat a plate of shit

Donald Trump was “most culpable” for Jan 6 riot and would have been convicted in court, according to the explosive testimony of former special counsel Jack Smith, released Wednesday by the House Judiciary Committee.

day one in mamdani’s new york

I hate the ricketts family so much

The only thing I miss about the bad place is Greg Kelly tweets they’re so goddamn funny

New year new me

I invented a new phone to help save time in the morning

It’s not called New Amsterdam any more, dipshit.

Yes we all want that…thin blood. As thin as possible. They’re saying the thinnest blood ever.

Just a reminder Curtis yarvin looks like this

This dude is a mega virgin

Here’s my alderman telling people not to take public transit on the drunkest night of the year.

Man I fucking hate Burt kreischer

As Eric Adams heads off into that great Turkish Airlines lounge in the sky, we remember his legacy

The Great Gatsby (2013)

If you start I Think You Should Leave s2e1 at 11:44:24, the Dangerous Nights Crew will pop the champagne cork at the stroke of midnight

If you start watching I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE S2E1 at exactly 11:56:59 pm, the first dead body will flop out of a coffin at the stroke of midnight.

What if America was a cigarette store just over the border in Indiana

My 9yo started saying “I’m unfrozen caveman lawyer” whenever he’s asked to do something and wants to pretend he doesn’t know what it is

Back when I worked in South Carolina, coworker’s family had a place in North Myrtle Beach. This is tackier than the airport/lighthouse-style lights that Thee Doll House had blaring into the skies as far as the eye could see.

Going boating just to keel something

Sumerian engineers 2000 years ago

Imo Nick Shirley should be [REDACTED]

Definitely the bears beating the packers in overtime

"George? George! It's Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin R.R. Martin! You know that new dragon for The Winds of Winter you're looking for? Well look at this!"

Springsteen ass headline

This dude’s hard drive is for sure going to be found to be horrific

This is my favorite parody account.