Lynyrd Skynyrd was all like “lord knows i can’t change” and then immediately changed tempos

Happy Confederate Surrender Day!

Holy shit!! @shudder.com becomes the home of TALES FROM THE CRYPT. Streaming once again after a 30 year hiatus! And nearly one year before my book on the series drops in 2027! Best day ever.

RIP Mario Adorf, whose many credits include MAJOR DUNDEE, THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE, THE TIN DRUM, Billy Wilder's FEDORA and one of the greatest chase scenes of all time in THE ITALIAN CONNECTION. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xrnk...

Bill Lancaster wrote THE BAD NEWS BEARS (he also wrote the script to Carpenter's THE THING!) and turned a story about a Little League baseball team to a metaphorical commentary on where the USA was at the time. Lofty ambition for a kids' movie. But it's a masterpiece. youtu.be/ONRLZIY7gbs?...

Deathbed Sign Offs: Snappy Last Words To Say Before You Kick The Bucket https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2023/02/10/deathbed-sign-offs-snappy-last-words-to-say-before-you-kick-the-bucket/

If they can make a tofurkey there’s no reason they shouldn’t be able to make a tofuman

Scared by your own rewilding project

I was saving this for Trump, but Pam deserves it too. "Sleep, you black-eyed pig Fall into a deep pit full of ghosts" Icelandic lullaby

The character arc of a washed-up TV creature is so sad. You think someone's gone away forever, and then 20 years later you see the headline: "Barney the Dinosaur to Mamdani: Condemn Hamas Or I'll Shit on This Bodega Floor"

Few are brave enough to acknowledge the truth.

I WOULD FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARD INTO THE WAFFLE HOUSE

Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old

Some sad news today. My Lord Of The Rings spin-off series 'FrodoCop' has been rejected by literally everyone.

oof

Last post, I promise: but when in doubt, check the source you're getting your information from and ask yourself if they might have an incentive to frame something a certain way. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wes...

The most beautiful creatures in the world are often the most venomous. That’s why I don’t trust any of you.

when the freaks dm me i usually figure out their Game fairly quickly. But this , to me, is a total mystery. I cannot assess the threat level

bunch of rednecks sitting around a bonfire on a very clearly cold night. the one sitting on the back steps, he spits and says "Dracula, huh?" everyone nods and mumbles in agreement the dude still sitting in his truck says, "We gotta go get that mother fucker" in this seven-film pitch, I will

whoever has the most leprechaun scalps by the end of the day wins st. patricks day

mmm slight disagreement here: political art is likeliest to work if the underlying artistic work is NASTY AS FUCK and MAKES YOU WANT TO THROW UP.

The formatting of this Beckett quote does still represent resilience and determination, just of a very different sort.

Taurus: A true friend will help you move a body, but to reanimate one you will have to hire a professional.

"So where do you see yourself in five years?" Me:

I really thought ‘ring around the collar’ was going to be a bigger issue when I got older.

elton john: ♫hold me closer tiny dancer tiny dancer: *hanging onto elton’s pant leg* ᵒʰ ˢʰⁱᵗ ᵒʰ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

I know it's a silly jokey joke, but people REALLY need to stop anthropomorphizing their boyfriends. "My boyfriend told me" your boyfriend didn't "tell" you anything. "My boyfriend thinks..." your boyfriend can't actually think or feel; just output a convincing simulation of it based on probability 🙄

Happy birthday, Sir Michael Caine who is celebrating his 93rd today!

If you haven’t read this one yet (or just want to revisit Bailey, Heck, and the Idiot), the *audio* version is now up! Same link below - just click “Listen” in the upper corner.

Pitch an unnecessary sequel Scream 8: The Ocho

The nice thing about wrestling is that with so many people wrestling and an industry that stretches back for longer than you think -- Abraham Lincoln (yes, that one) invented the chokeslam after all -- you're bound to find at least one wrestler who fights like the style you're imagining

Makes all sorts of sense, really.

the most thoroughly vindicated man in hollywood. trade disputes and conspiracies ✔️ republic subverted over sex hangups ✔️ “sand people” killed, royalty indifferent ✔️ naive idiot casts vote for tyranny ✔️ villains with silly names like “dooku” ✔️ powerful clerical order screwing up ✔️ list goes on

Reports that the administration is considering sending special forces to seize heavily fortified nuclear sites in Iran are dangerous and alarming. No boots on the ground in Iran.

Saw Hoppers and I agree!

Other People: "You can't be a musician unless you have real profession gear. You need a $2,000 amp, a $5,000 guitar, a delay pedal that costs $500, you need-" Tom Waits, staring at a hand-crank drill, a box of burnt out spark plugs, and a live chicken: "I am about to write a generational anthem."

Honestly offended they would ask. Not turning on my mic or location for these fucks, either. Or using my name. Or my real email. Or turning off my VPN. I wouldn’t be using this grifter app at all, but i really want to practice Norwegian. Really messed up how they prey on people who want to learn.

"If someone disagrees with you, it’s not because they’re wrong, and you’re right. It’s because they believe something that you don’t believe." nextbigideaclub.com/magazine/fac...

FREE BOOKS! A long-listed Gothic Body Horror, its Cosmic Horror sequel, and an Urban Fantasy Comedy (with audiobook) No cliffhangers! Just have a look and see if you don't love them. ALL FREE! #needreaders #needreviewers #horror #fantasy #booksky

FREE BOOKS! A long-listed Gothic Body Horror, its Cosmic Horror sequel, and an Urban Fantasy Comedy (with audiobook) No cliffhangers! Just have a look and see if you don't love them. ALL FREE! #needreaders #needreviewers #horror #fantasy #booksky

Who tailored Jiminy Cricket's suit? He's a bug! THIS DOESN'T HOLD UP TO SCRUTINY!

If only the United States had programs to support and strengthen the democratic elements in Iran that Trump now wants to rise up and overthrow the regime. Wait, we do—or at least we did, until Trump and DOGE gutted them last year.

I’ve talked before about books that felt like they were written so the most annoying people on twitter didn’t get mad at them and I’m wondering if this is part of that phenomenon.

We can’t clean up Washington without restoring integrity to the Supreme Court. That’s why I believe we should expand the Supreme Court to 13 justices. And then, institute term limits. Because an appointment to the Supreme Court shouldn’t mean a lifetime lack of accountability.

[seeing you sad] Me: “hey, I know something that would cheer you up. Trader Joe’s now has free delivery” You: “OMG they do? That DOES cheer me up!” Me: “Great! No they don’t actually have free delivery but I know that would cheer you up”

The mirror universe them with a beard is going “Look, sure, I’ve used agonizers on people, but I wasn’t like THIS.”

A great review of my story upcoming from Inky Bones Press!