you wanna see a dead body

Um, did the flesh-eating flies not realize that it is ILLEGAL for them to enter the United States???????

“…while the profits are near-record levels, the companies say their profit margins are shrinking.” Wonder if they’re telling the truth about that

I could get a ten count on Andrew Tate just by scooching past him in a narrow hallway.

Watching Hilary deny genocide in Gaza, reflecting on the time she phonetically pronounced the words ‘yaas kween’ on Broad City, the most important comedy of its time

As told by the late dancer and choreographer Agnes DeMille.

Vaccination is the closest thing we have to an honest-to-Christ medical miracle. It doesn’t just work: it works nearly instantly, costs pennies to make, and simply slots into the natural function of your immune system. If I were religious, I would say this was akin to denying God’s grace.

You're saying I can't solve this problem with BEES? That's alright; that's why God invented SNAKES

Your exegesis of the book of the dead betrays your ignorance of the fifteenth gate

The metaverse is here to stay… if you still have legs, you’re falling behind

because you drank from the enchanted Fountain of Speech, you stupid animal.

Some banger new subway station names here in Toronto: Driftwood Ionview Sentinel Emery Signet Arrow

stupid body rejected my new SCORPIONIS implants, now I'm shedding chitin all over the subway car & painting the bathroom sink with venom at my place of work

Short version: chasing the hardline party’s voters without any real principles of your own makes you lose your own base and convince fence-sitters to support the hardline party, not you.

asked a fortune-teller to read the lines on leavitt's face and now she's puking bile into my sink.

Can’t picture any Pharaoh being able to take me in a fight. No disrespect to Egyptologists; I just can’t see it.

true story: earlier this year, I was invited to apply for a writing position on the new Larian game. It was a life-changing contract and I got really nervous during the writing test. I completely fucked it up. didn’t even advance to the interviews. feeling a lot better about that today.

Your abode reeks of crocodiles, bro

There should be large predatory birds that prey on cars during traffic jams. They should live on mountains and manipulate dreams to cause DUIs and thus fecund hunting grounds.

Oh, this is the void you’re screaming into? No, you have to scream into the other one

Day bats: they’re naked and scuttle along the ground with their flightless feathery wings. They have rudimentary ears and huge milky eyes. They eat red meat and spit blood and sleep standing dead upright in the soil

// YOU CAN RUN FROM THE MEMORIES // BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS BE BY YOUR SIDE // IT WILL ALWAYS BE BY YOUR SIDE Listen to "DROID," a new science fiction tale from The Wrong Station.

Night bees; they pollinate tombstones with dust, allowing fresh ghosts to grow; they produce a thin blue honey that tastes horrible & can be used to infect wounds & repel bears

this episode took like two years to write in part because I was constantly adjusting how shitty Charles could be without it getting cartoonish. turns out: pretty shitty!

AI has actively made life worse for literally everyone - tech is now more expensive - you cannot trust most media of reality anymore - programs barely function - energy prices - literal psychosis - your voice can be literally stolen for evil - more spyware but hey, you can avoid paying an artist.

Canada too—the Quebecois drink something called Pepsi

Canada too—the Quebecois drink something called Pepsi

I’m havin the idea to bash ai guys & feast on their steaming brains so we can’t be running that low now can we

All the guys named George at my wife’s family’s Christmas party, ranked by size: 1. George 2. Little George 3. George (The other one—same first & last name as the first one) 4. George (a different one) 5. Big George Thank you for your attention in this matter

We all agree that jingle bell time is a swell time to go riding in a one horse sleigh. But how many of us have ever ridden in such a contraption? Our minds are colonized by the propaganda of the jingling class

Mesmerizing. incredible character work from both actors. Kirk’s expressions so inhuman, but so rehearsed you know they’re deliberate & probably landing with their target demo. Weiss, meanwhile—sack of potatoes; no sense of what’s going on, just playing interviewer and thinking she’s doing a good job

In the original story, the ‘Jingle Horse’ is a frightening & malign creature—its harness jingling with the skulls of naughty children

In the original story, the ‘Jingle Horse’ is a frightening & malign creature—its harness jingling with the skulls of naughty children

JAMES LIPTON… WRITER… PRODUCER… EQUESTRIAN… MARTIAL ARTIST… PAPAL EMISSARY…. INSTINCTIVE ARCHER… ‘SEXUAL VINDICATOR’… KNIGHT-COMPANION OF THE ORDER OF THE GOLDEN SKULL… FRIEND.

new episode coming this weekend. it's basically star wars.

Arm & Train the Raccoons

Preparing for a US vacation by purging my socials, burning off my fingerprints, and removing my face

we are going to win. www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

Ah, to be a 1930s riverboat gambler, suddenly & inexplicably devoured by a 33-foot mosasaur

AI gives the executive total power over the production of the image, they see it as a final victory in the class struggle within culture industries, which is over who gets to dictate the pace, meaning and form of image (re)production

We’ve invented human sacrifice from first principles

we already have a technology for this its called ghosts

We've heard your concerns. AI is used by the IDF to kill grandmothers. AI is used by ICE to deport grandmothers. Now, AI is bringing grandmothers back. Forever.

YOU: *fling the One Ring into the fires of Mt Doom* ME: that’s not going to poll well with the median voter

Big challenge for Canada's "sovereign AI" strategy is many political leaders haven't fully internalized that the US poses an existential threat to Canada, this results in naive assumptions that the US will follow rule of law & lazy gaslighting where OpenAI & MS are champions of Canadian sovereignty

😂😂😂 Bro really thinks he can digest a fermentable oligosaccharide 🤣🤣🤣

GOD: I have invented the sinus ME: haha… wait, what the fuck? GOD: it’s a little space inside your head. Anything could get up there ME: no… GOD: a spider could weave its web. An evil little man could build his house

Mayor of New York sharing links to The Dig; big things are happening

“the n-word foot guy thinks you like the wrong art” cool man, i’ll take it under advisement

Summoning bees won’t fix your problems