Fuck you if you've ever been part of an audience. I hate you for real if you've ever been part of an audience. I wish you ill and I'd go out of my way to harm you if you're an audience member

read my lips: i. don't. know.

ums this, blucifer that. y'all just wish you had focomx

You really fucking should listen to Blood Work

[Kyle Schwarber hits a home run]: I love the American man Kyle Schwarber. He is shaped like a fire hydrant and does bad things to baseballs. [the camera cuts to a crowd of Arizonans hooting and/or hollering]: Death To The American Swine

*puts you in the candle warmer to slowly melt you into a fragrant puddle*

Eldest boy has taken to sending me messages and emails sporadically that look normal but when opened are just Halal Truck Mr. Beast

wow, it's mert!

every day just feels like this now

I want to try this with black velvet

Ah, yes, the invaluable wisdom of the markets.

you know I liked that good cop, can we get the good cop back in here. I utterly condemn the bad cop

whenever i see people talk about what kamala harris would do different i think serenely back on this post i made at some point about the possibilities we lost when the door closed on President Al Gore

“Unleash Chiang” was a joke by Papa Bush who had a bad tennis serve on conservatives who thought Chiang Kai-Shek could conquer the mainland from Taiwan but was "held back" Jeb and Rubio imagined “Chang” was a sort of magical Chinese conservative war god and embodied in a magic sword Jeb gave Rubio

pixel sigil #93 - "MY PLAN TO CAUSE YOU PAIN AND HARM YOU IS TO USE YOUR MIND AS MY WEAPON"

Steve Toth ousting Dan Crenshaw is really just Woodlands-area guys who own pool cleaning businesses reclaiming their rightful place at the top of the hierarchy in exurban texas enclaves after briefly being usurped by the soy right deep state blob

the greatest sentence ever composed

"The CIA conspired to make me less cool than I was when I was 25" is the most succinct Gen X manifesto I've ever heard

they put whether you would ever get laid on polymarket

no better place than here & no better time than now

debate has long raged about whether what's up with me is a respectable illness or a weakness of moral character, but I don't think anyone would dispute that it sure is chronic

"I bet the sixth Scary Movie is going to be good" - a person whose vote counts as much as yours does

On the nature of darkness:

if you think the greatest threat to effeminate gay boys is the trans movement and not the cis straight men who overwhelmingly exclude and brutalize them then you should walk into the ocean immediately

not posting about workplace drama is weirdly difficult

What's scary about this story is the surveillance it hints at. This trans woman had changed her name, legally, but chose not to change her gender marker. She was apparently flagged in the DMV system as trans and her license was invalidated under a law that supposedly only concerned gender markers.

Incredibly stoked for one of my projects, New Standards Men, to open the Longmont show, in the hayloft of a barn, which will rule in every way.

OMFG they think we are the dumbest people who ever lived.

fuck all them demons

americans know what freedom is like pigs know what flight is

oh lord my sword's out. jesus just avert your eyes

cortisol princess week I can feel it in my bones

i'm teaming up with kalshi to pick up a car battery, angle it so that one of its corners is pointed at the ground, and drop it directly on my toenail

I remember twenty years ago there were lots of jokes about how ridiculous the neoconservative notion of ‘bombing for peace’ was, so it doesn’t feel great that this appears to be a prevalent rationalisation of what is now happening among liberals and that they seem to believe it will work.

weekly btw

Today at church I sat behind a middle schooler I’ve never talked to, who spent the whole service drawing on a notepad. At the end of the hour she stood up, turned around, and showed me the drawing. “This is you as a dog,” she said

This is the funniest punchline I've seen since "Let's fucking bet on this" from Uncut Gems

If the metal guitarist is wearing a Portishead shirt you're about to die in that pit

should I move to denver? the bands seem to be ever so slightly better

would be pretty ballsy if some other country managed to pull it off but i think i'm gonna go with Iran. it's just a lot easier to get away with when it's your own base and it make more sense cause Iran is also where Iranian children live

My new shirt design is so powerful that part of it had to be redacted for the preview image roryblank.bigcartel.com

i'm johnnie knoxville and this is samsara

Charmed and fascinated by Chess Wars, a DOS game released in 1996 that features live-action cutscenes of medieval melee when playing pieces engage one another in battle.

ty everyone who has said nice encouraging things to me about my music, this week or whenever. i appreciate it a lot :)

"Bluesky doesn't have the juice." "Real media access is still only on Twitter." "No one important uses or will ever use this site." Skill issue. If you post good, the right people will figure out how to get in touch with you.