OM-1, 12-100

i get plenty of inspiration from good art but nothing motivates me like something popular but completely dogshit. i want to write a book now!!

i love books that piss me off while reading (not exclusively but sometimes). so i'm gonna check out Dungeon Crawler Carl. i have a good feeling about this one. it smells of Ernest Cline

Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. You were killed by DARK WIZARD!

the immovable "this tech scam is the future" VS. the unstoppable "no it isn't"

I love when an artist uses their voice to say “fuck it, just give up”

[to the tune of Vicar in a Tutu] typo in a banger delete post edit and post again to get those notes

you're going to have a hard time convincing provincial suburban cowards to use public transit if you can't make sure they won't feel an ounce of discomfort for even a moment

they call me belvedere good morning i am mister belvedere a butler on tv i’m not a real butler but i did sit on my balls i really sat upon my balls i did hurt my balls

on this week’s Dial-a-Pod we’ve decided to eat the diarrhea salad live on air and only YOUR voicemails can stop us from doing this. call us and dial 0000 to leave a voicemail

dookie salad is here. i understand people are afraid of shitting their brains out; i have IBS. but shitting your brains out due to salad is the future. you cannot bury your head in the sand. we have to learn to live with innovation

my grandparents took me and my siblings to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop on my 13th birthday. i was the only one in the group who explicitly & vehemently did not want to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop. i was told i was outvoted. i was called a "party pooper" when i said it sucked when we left

"AI is a tool, like any other tool", says the tool

new game four player co op proximity based voice chat and you are extracting things and there is a silly monster and it is designed for streaming. could you please add a deckbuilding mechanic and a cozy coffee shop where the characters can finger each other in the bathroom. with crafting system

if you're taking pictures of me while i'm out taking pictures, i'll take one right back #coolpicturesbynicky

"I'd like to make matter out of thin air, ideally."

I regret immediately rolling my eyes at all of these people playing different kinds of pretend instead of learning about how funny their thing is. I’m glad I got it sorted out

catching up on the news

i just got a guy to tell me he's not mad he's actually laughing. the world is still so beautiful

this comic is from 2014 and is one of the most singularly vindicated comics. even if it was already correct then it is even more correct now

The whole internet loves The Meme Movie, a lovely low budget movie based on your favorite online content! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you that your favorite online content is property of Comcast Sony Walt Disney Corporation. you have 24 hrs to remove it from the internet or face litigation

"download our app!" download my nuts

i just ordered an e-book from bookshop.org but i'm not allowed to download it??? why the fuck would i read it in-browser on their website. and i'm done downloading apps!! why is everything online shit aaaaaa

i just went to a website that had vignetting around the edges. ban CSS

Criterion selling popular movies like K-Pop Demon Hunters is essential if it’s going to keep funding releases of art films like Del Toro’s Frankenstein

i turned on the tv to see a bunch of beet-faced english boomers in a deep depression. this should be a regular program

i pitched a Ray Donovan dark ride and i should get 2% royalties on any future Ray Donovan theme park rides in perpetuity. thank you for understanding. call my podcast please

Rax is right and also: these are the same projects. these people are so interested in reinforcing gender expectations to the point where they're medicating people in support of that. if one's experience of gender diverges from expected masculine norms, there are forcing functions. this is one.

oh wow, the fascists who constantly say and do whatever they want to achieve their goal of destroying large swaths of humanity are... hypocrites? oh my god... they're finished, as soon as we point it out to them. they'll be so ashamed

Transfer, 1968 by William Anastasi whitney.org/collection/w...

(after only 45 minutes spent introducing Dr. Doom and his plans for world domination) CAPTAIN AMERICA: you know i left that life behind me. LUKE CAGE: i know.. we all remember you left this life behind you in Avengers End Game. but that was before we knew about Dr. Doom ME: who the fuck is Dr. Dude

permanent daylight savings doesn't go far enough

i love photographs so muchb i might puke

If you peep my new pics, you will peep some pics that I was actually worried about the karmic balance of you peeping them coolpicsoffline.blogspot.com

the all star game epitomizes baseball by being so fucking stupid

posting a picture of me eating bagged salad as a cry for help

Channel Zero. Photo from my collection, no date/info.

quitting drugs is so stupid. "ooh let me feel like shit for my health" <- who came up with this

it's always funny how, for ages, these same chuds always valued art based on labour involved, ie if someone taped a banana to a wall or just painted a large canvas red, it was "lazy" and "anyone can just do that" and now that AI lets them larp as creators it's "none of that matters, only intention"

a lot of people mad about this but do you want Reconstruction 2 or not

Music playing at every sit-down burger restaurant in America: Starbucks cup, you know it says her name is Hailey, I’m the Coppertone puppy, she’s my full grown baby

Me: *shuddering* i would never want to be treated like the Everyone Come Get Mad at Me guy. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy Everyone Come Get Mad at Me Guy: (hiring a plane to tow a banner that says "Have you remembered to get mad at me today")

the entire world economy is being steered in the direction of generating as many of this type of guy as possible

after the car crash, i started smoking a ton more weed than before because it really helped with the pain and ptsd. every day, high thc. hell yeah. but now i'm trying to quit and it fucking Sucks!! it's worth it for many reasons but goddamn i'm on day 2 and i'm all clammy & irritable. not hell yeah

i'm happy for Jordan Walker but i cannot support the Cardinals so don't tell him i'm happy. thank you

baseball

i'm so glad i opted out of manhood when i did, it's a shambles. sorry fellas, you're gonna have to handle this mess you've made yourselves

[lib journalist voice] John Burpton manly cuts his bro steak at the dude diner we've straightly met at. "~They~ want to make it illegal to be masculine," yells Burpton, A1 spittle hitting my glasses. His Sonnenrad tattoo warps as he flexes his bicep. He's just what the Democratic Party needs.

i see a guy on here really getting into how stupid anyone is for criticizing the democrats. lol ok. i scroll down and see he's admitting to doing this to distract from his friend dying in hospice. aww ok. usually you just have to assume what the real issue is, but i like the honesty here