lotta people out there who should die huh

always gonna RT this when I see it, one of the all-timers

Customer: YOU LOVE THE COOK DMV: YOU LOVE THE COCK Verdict: DENIED

being a man is kinda gay. why are you, as a man, a man

plenty has been said about the Shearling album being pretentious or overindulgent (can't really argue—though that's part of why it rules), but not nearly enough has been said about how funny it is to have an hour-long, intensely draining, dense song just end with "see ya"

my "most millennial complaint" thing is that we really ought to make it embarrassing to be religious again. my town was by no means progressive, but if kids were outwardly religious or wearing clothes with bible verses on them like they do now, they'd have been relentlessly mocked. and should be!

always wanted to be the hated "painted nails guy" and tbh still kind of do, but at my age it'd just be sad. my time for fucking around with myself has long passed. like imagine a guy who's a blink away from 40 getting a new septum piercing. you'd want him dead!

you know, the post and display name were so funny I didn't even think about the timeline: Morrissey biggest pussy on earth for canceling shows in after, a week later, seeing a threat purported to take place at a show he already played, *in a different country*

best of both worlds: made potatoes *and* I'm spinning some chunes. come listen to the radio. don't have this planned out at all just playing what looks shiny to me twitch.tv/tuffghost

lol does this mean skate videos are illegal on here

thinking of doing a "radio" stream. which is kind of like the radio but on the computer. songs and what have you. but i'm making potatoes. so maybe i won't

mentally, i am the strongest creature who ever lived. people come from all around to visit my enclosure. they stand at a comfortable distance and they say “i hear it has very good mental. the best in the animal kingdom”. and they’re right

looked up to see if it was true the Bills honored the dead guy (it is—fuck yourself Terry) and I know I shouldn't comment on NY Post articles but you can't give me this one and expect me not to!!!

“guy who gets shot in the head one hundred thousand times a day” lmao

one thing that surprised me working this stupid job is that people are still buying Snapple. often! we're in an unprecedented era of crazy drinks and you're telling me you're out here slurping down the worst tea known to man? you're not in a 90s gas station. grow up

If you attempt to troll on me you're gonna get a mouthful of my whip

should point out that part of the "going to these places" part was for dinner reasons and so instead i just haven't eaten lol

I've listened to a few of their albums kind of a lot, but I nevertheless have a growing and frankly quite irrational resentment of Big Thief and hearing about Big Thief. bad album art on that new one too

been looking forward to this since it had a 2023 release date. and a 2024 release date. so it's kind of wild to see it get announced for a new platform with a yet-unspecific "2025" release date. not much time left in this thing! (can't wait) www.youtube.com/watch?v=51U0...

every day i get home from working at the exhaustion factory and think "damn i should go to these places and do these things" and then do absolutely none of it because i'm too tired. stinks!

this guy we started watching on the GOK streams is the funniest fuckin guy I've ever seen in my life. (starts house on fire with four-foot jet of fire) "hoo shit, man you all see that?"

lol I think Joe Pera was at the Mary Lattimore show but I didn't see him. she did say that he told her to mention that the Bills were doing well

I got a package delivered today, a small flat envelope, and the delivery person put it on a table on someone's balcony?? of all the ways to try to drop off a package at an apartment building, why would that be the one you think of lmao. don't make me meet my neighbors come on

I am going to see Mary Lattimore now 😎

saying "do better" about thyme at the grocery store is so funny

@jay.bsky.team hope you enjoyed your weekend away from moderation apologia. when do you think you might be back in the office so we can talk about why this post is still up bsky.app/profile/nypo...

Big news everyone: Sqwerv is on Nugs

yuuup, thank you

just being a little bastard about a niche community nobody cares about, one that i'm not even really associated with these days, but it's fucking insane they keep inviting nobletofu to that goddamn kaizo marathon thing. fuck off

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

cat update from my mom:

it feels so good when I buy a beer at the grocery store self-checkout and the attendant takes a quick look at me and my ID and types in 1997. thank you so much, that's right, I am of course 28 years old

new crualty squad fan map found www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdcV...

idk if I'd say I love it but it's fine. so I guess yes, it has

think I'm going to test out if my opinion has changed on black licorice

thinking about this ad I got on YouTube a few months ago for some revolutionary new pillow, followed by the chilling words "Say Goodbye to Neck"

smell ya later chuck. thanks for the free press 👍

"there is no place in America for political violence" dog do you even know what America is

Agreed with the Cooler Heads here. This act of political violence may one day soon serve as pretext to justify federal occupation of progressive cities or even unaccountable militias imprisoning people of color without due process at impenetrable, inhumane black sites. Well, I sure hope not!

guy maddin? lmk when its girl chillin

no offends if this is you but if you're thinking "this is going to make the right do fascism" they're already there. they blew up a boat with 11 people on it for being immigrants. they're kidnapping US citizens and trying to rendition them to Uganda. do you think we're on a trajectory to peace

re LRT: caveat being like don't get yourself visited by the feds lol. but also lmao come on

can we skip the entire meta-conversation about how everyone on Bluesky needs to police everyone else on Bluesky about how to respond to an act of political violence

I guess this has probably already gone viral somewhere but I am simply dying at this picture of a bear that looks like it hired a photographer to do a glamour shoot

he's been incredibly reclusive and moody to everyone up to this point but I visited while my car is being serviced and he lay down with me and purred for the first time to anyone. my mom will be mad that I'm the one he likes lol

huh

man is a money-making animal, which propensity too often interferes with his benevolence

lately when i’m feeling hopeless i just think of the Katamari cat wearing scuba gear. if she can survive in an inhospitable environment then so can i